So I joined after lurking for a while, I wanted to first talk about something I observed at work about a guy who most of you would describe as 'over' and has no chance looking at his stats but somehow he pulls women easily. But later about that, let me first tell about me.
Basically I've been rejected 100+times, I think even way more. Because of autism I only did one approach and the rest was pretty much online. You would think that after so many rejections you ll get used to it, but even the 100th time it hurts just like the first one. Most of them where like this: get a number or emailadrss in a chat box, start talking and people with autism know that online talking you can hide your autism somewhat, then sometimes it clicks and she asks you for a photo of yourself, use your best photo ever and boom, either they blocked me right away, or said it's not you it's me. Or they just go silent hoping you give up and stop talking so they can delete you. One girl didn't even show her own photo, she had a photo of a good looking woman and when I asked her if it's her, she said no it's her cousin. So she probably wasn't good looking herself and yet demands a Chad either way. One girl told me I'm very ugly, another one we spoke on the phone and she was kind of desperate because she already talked about dating, she asked for a photo and boom, she went completely silent. Many guys even in school ridiculed me and called me ugly. Why is it necessary to hurt someone like that? I didn't bother them or hurt them. I think I had one time a girl in elementary school somewhat show interest in me, but my autism couldn't handle it. I cant see nor read the signs, even if I do I become extremely shy and awkward. Social anxiety is very strong so I have lived in loneliness a lot, going outside is just a lot of anxiety. That's why my favorite season is the winter, short daylight and the skanks can't undress too much. Oh yeah one last rejection was my oneitis at work. We were calling to discuss something about work, after work I saw her in the city and she said do you want to get something to eat, I said OK. When we sat down she literally said: ugh, this looks like a date, now If a hot guy sees me he won't even ask me because he thinks I'm in a date. In other words: im too low to be her date, while she's not even a stayclite. I don't mog her but she's doesn't mog me extremely. And it was her fucking idea to eat something, so how you gonna decide something and then blame me for just being there? Good thing is now I totally ignore her, even work related, I don't give a fuck.
Anyway: depression, autism, social anxiety, loneliness, bdd, trauma, isolated, ocd, that's my life.
