I'm living my own death

[Deleted member 21230]

It's a strange feeling, I don't know how to express it well. It's as if I was outside of myself watching me dying, but at the same time I'm still inside myself and feeling everything that Im seeing. Sometimes I feel like I'm living moments that belong in the future or even that don't bellong anywhere at all, as if the present moment got replaced by a fake one.

I've had this feeling for quite some time, first it was like living the final months of my lfei, then weeks and now days, I seriously think the end of my sufference is coming. I'm not even sure if I really want to die, but I have this sensation that it already happened and now I'm just living in a fake future where I'm still alive

I know this doesn't make any sense, it's a really weird feeling and I don't think there are words for this, neither in english nor italian

Anyone else feels like this?

 

[Deleted member 17419]

No, but when I smoke DMT I feel like I'm skipping to the part where I'm not alive as a human concept anymore, it's very based as far as feelings go.

 

[Gyros_Pretcel]

Ye, depersonification / derealization I assume. A known wizard power.

 

[Deleted member 27249]

Watching yourself slowly decay and not being able/ not wanting to do anything about it cuz you're so depressed. I know the feeling

 

[BummerDrummerOG]

No, but when I smoke DMT I feel like I'm skipping to the part where I'm not alive as a human concept anymore, it's very based as far as feelings go.

God that shit is fucking expensive. Do u make ur own or are u just rich?

 

[Cleftcel]

i feel like my soul died 10 years ago

 

[Pengwin]

Stay strong OP.

 

[SupremeG]

i feel like my soul died 10 years ago

 

[Blacktarpill]

It's a strange feeling, I don't know how to express it well. It's as if I was outside of myself watching me dying, but at the same time I'm still inside myself and feeling everything that Im seeing. Sometimes I feel like I'm living moments that belong in the future or even that don't bellong anywhere at all, as if the present moment got replaced by a fake one.

I've had this feeling for quite some time, first it was like living the final months of my lfei, then weeks and now days, I seriously think the end of my sufference is coming. I'm not even sure if I really want to die, but I have this sensation that it already happened and now I'm just living in a fake future where I'm still alive

I know this doesn't make any sense, it's a really weird feeling and I don't think there are words for this, neither in english nor italian

Anyone else feels like this?

Very cool, have you ever tried DMT?

 

[Deleted member 21230]

Very cool, have you ever tried DMT?

Never went past weed

 

[Shin no Shi]

No, but when I smoke DMT I feel like I'm skipping to the part where I'm not alive as a human concept anymore, it's very based as far as feelings go.

Explain what occurs. Need it for analysis

 

[FlamingCel]

It's a strange feeling, I don't know how to express it well. It's as if I was outside of myself watching me dying, but at the same time I'm still inside myself and feeling everything that Im seeing. Sometimes I feel like I'm living moments that belong in the future or even that don't bellong anywhere at all, as if the present moment got replaced by a fake one.

I've had this feeling for quite some time, first it was like living the final months of my lfei, then weeks and now days, I seriously think the end of my sufference is coming. I'm not even sure if I really want to die, but I have this sensation that it already happened and now I'm just living in a fake future where I'm still alive

I know this doesn't make any sense, it's a really weird feeling and I don't think there are words for this, neither in english nor italian

Anyone else feels like this?

i think you have a spirit of death in you.Pray and fast to cast it out

 

[Deleted member 17419]

Same for me

Based and highest of IQ.

God that shit is fucking expensive. Do u make ur own or are u just rich?

JFL it's actually not in Sweden believe it or not, but no I've never done the process myself (I'm not rich, but not poor either, although I'm probably closer to that than rich, ngl). Pretty pathetic I guess, but I wouldn't bother at the price I can get it. A heavy dose is less than half of what a decent meal costs here, and I feel no need to bother with it. Other drugs are way more expensive, so I prioritize those, and they can't be easily manufactured from tree bark.

Explain what occurs. Need it for analysis

You'll assume you're dying, which feels kind of like a relief, then a wave of embarrassment will hit you and you'll cringe like never before. After that if you maintain your cool a feeling of peace and I guess love will rush over you like a tsunami, whereby you'll not remember your human identity for a while. It can go good or bad, but mostly good all things considered. Returning to your subhuman body can be really rough though tbh, when you realize the shitty luck you had at birth. If you're truecel like me you're pretty used to that feeling though, so it won't take you to any new levels of suffering.

It's hard to explain honestly, I couldn't do it justice with all the effort in the world, but let it be known it is by far the most surreal experience you can have, at least in the beginning. If you do it enough times though, it'll lose its magic, and just feel like being drunk. You'll have to use it in moderation to get the most out of it per dose.

 

[BummerDrummerOG]

JFL it's actually not in Sweden believe it or not, but no I've never done the process myself (I'm not rich, but not poor either, although I'm probably closer to that than rich, ngl). Pretty pathetic I guess, but I wouldn't bother at the price I can get it. A heavy dose is less than half of what a decent meal costs here, and I feel no need to bother with it. Other drugs are way more expensive, so I prioritize those, and they can't be easily manufactured from tree bark.

What the fuck? Well I guess it’s historical there because the Vikings took it didn’t they? Here it’s expensive and, more importantly, impossible to find. You have to settle with acid or shrooms or I guess DXM if you want your psych high. It izzz wat it izzzz

 

[Mecoja]

Based and highest of IQ.
It's hard to explain honestly, I couldn't do it justice with all the effort in the world, but let it be known it is by far the most surreal experience you can have, at least in the beginning. If you do it enough times though, it'll lose its magic, and just feel like being drunk. You'll have to use it in moderation to get the most out of it per dose.

Sounds interesting, good escapism.

 

[Deleted member 21324]

Yes, this sounds a lot like depersonalization/derealization, which is something that I deal with on a frequent basis.

 

[Shin no Shi]

Based and highest of IQ.


JFL it's actually not in Sweden believe it or not, but no I've never done the process myself (I'm not rich, but not poor either, although I'm probably closer to that than rich, ngl). Pretty pathetic I guess, but I wouldn't bother at the price I can get it. A heavy dose is less than half of what a decent meal costs here, and I feel no need to bother with it. Other drugs are way more expensive, so I prioritize those, and they can't be easily manufactured from tree bark.


You'll assume you're dying, which feels kind of like a relief, then a wave of embarrassment will hit you and you'll cringe like never before. After that if you maintain your cool a feeling of peace and I guess love will rush over you like a tsunami, whereby you'll not remember your human identity for a while. It can go good or bad, but mostly good all things considered. Returning to your subhuman body can be really rough though tbh, when you realize the shitty luck you had at birth. If you're truecel like me you're pretty used to that feeling though, so it won't take you to any new levels of suffering.

It's hard to explain honestly, I couldn't do it justice with all the effort in the world, but let it be known it is by far the most surreal experience you can have, at least in the beginning. If you do it enough times though, it'll lose its magic, and just feel like being drunk. You'll have to use it in moderation to get the most out of it per dose.

>wave of embarrassment
I would say this is the point where you have likely seen all the events that you have done be unfolded in third person, I wouldn't be surprised by the cringe part either.

>whereby you'll not remember your human identity for a while
this is the issue I have when people take DMT, they end up being consumed by their physical outwardness, which I won't deny for us has been a massive drag to the bottom, but they end up thinking that their whole character is defined on the physical nature of what they look, when the choices they have made are another aspect of who they are separate of their physical aspect. For example, the interests or desires you have are predeterminate of what you already are before you were in your body, whilst the experiences you can't control (though I would say you could based on event to event but lets say you can't) due to the body designated for you, creates the extended part of your initial character. Although, whether someone feels strongly about what they experienced based on their outward appearance is possible to deter based on the initial mental state of a person, which is why I would say that the physical body for me is nothing but a shell and you could either manipulate it or let the experiences derived from outward appearance consume you whole.

> i guess love
seems like a stupid one to pick at but how would you say it was like did you see anything appearing at you that caused you to feel this way

Oh I also want to know if you heard any voices during the trip as well as entities as I keep on hearing.

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

Not sure what to say

 

[Incellectual]

Ye, depersonification / derealization I assume. A known wizard power.

 

[Deleted member 26032]

Brutal. I feel you.
It's a fucking simulation of being alive without ever getting to actually live life.