no longer have any coping mechanisms; every day is simply painful. I wake up feeling like complete shit and go to bed feeling the same way. I haven't looked in the mirror for the past two months. Whenever I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth or use the toilet or take a shower, I put my head down to avoid seeing any sort of reflection. It's like I'm avoiding myself completely.
Every day feels like the same repetitive cycle. There isn't a single hour where I genuinely feel relaxed. I'm always in fight or flight mode. Sometimes, I'm so stressed and angry that I start screaming, banging walls, or even punching myself. I've completely stopped going outside for the past two years. The only time I leave is when it's necessary, which is about every 5-6 weeks. But when I do go outside, I feel extreme panic and dread. The anxiety is overwhelming, causing stomach cramps and nausea. I also constantly feel unwelcome anywhere. I receive dirty looks and mockery, and it's incredibly disheartening.
Food no longer tastes good to me. I've tried using food as a coping mechanism, but nothing seems to satisfy my palate anymore. My diet has become quite bland, consisting mainly of white rice and chicken tenderloin. It's become difficult to find joy in anything.
I'm tired of my parents constantly being in denial about my little brothers autism. It's obvious to everyone around that he has severe autism to the point where he will never be able to work and will likely require specialized care in a facility. Whenever I think about it, I feel a wave of depression realizing that he will never have a "normal" life. I believe it's my parents' fault for having him at such a late age—my dad was 54 and my mom was 43 when he was born.
I spend my days in a dark basement, staring at my PC screen like a zombie or lying down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. I don't dare go upstairs because my parents' moods are unpredictable. Sometimes they're in a good mood, but most of the time, they're in a bad mood due to my brother's condition, and they take their frustrations out on me. Just yesterday, when I went upstairs to the kitchen to grab something to eat, my dad told me I would end up morbidly obese, despite me just being skinny fat. I left the kitchen feeling a bit ticked off, and as I was walking back to the basement, my mom, for no reason, told me to give up and that I would fail in life. She even said she can't wait until I leave the house. I felt numb and didn't care anymore. I'm just so tired of this existence, and I feel like I don't deserve any of this.
As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a basement filled with trash, old clothes, and garbage surrounding me. I even saw a couple of roaches. I've become so lazy that I don't even use tissues when I ejaculate anymore; I just use my old clothes or food wrappers and bags. I only take a shower twice a week, and I brush my teeth every other day. It truly feels like it's all over for me
.
Please note that this story takes place in sims 4 and is not real.
Every day feels like the same repetitive cycle. There isn't a single hour where I genuinely feel relaxed. I'm always in fight or flight mode. Sometimes, I'm so stressed and angry that I start screaming, banging walls, or even punching myself. I've completely stopped going outside for the past two years. The only time I leave is when it's necessary, which is about every 5-6 weeks. But when I do go outside, I feel extreme panic and dread. The anxiety is overwhelming, causing stomach cramps and nausea. I also constantly feel unwelcome anywhere. I receive dirty looks and mockery, and it's incredibly disheartening.
Food no longer tastes good to me. I've tried using food as a coping mechanism, but nothing seems to satisfy my palate anymore. My diet has become quite bland, consisting mainly of white rice and chicken tenderloin. It's become difficult to find joy in anything.
I'm tired of my parents constantly being in denial about my little brothers autism. It's obvious to everyone around that he has severe autism to the point where he will never be able to work and will likely require specialized care in a facility. Whenever I think about it, I feel a wave of depression realizing that he will never have a "normal" life. I believe it's my parents' fault for having him at such a late age—my dad was 54 and my mom was 43 when he was born.
I spend my days in a dark basement, staring at my PC screen like a zombie or lying down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. I don't dare go upstairs because my parents' moods are unpredictable. Sometimes they're in a good mood, but most of the time, they're in a bad mood due to my brother's condition, and they take their frustrations out on me. Just yesterday, when I went upstairs to the kitchen to grab something to eat, my dad told me I would end up morbidly obese, despite me just being skinny fat. I left the kitchen feeling a bit ticked off, and as I was walking back to the basement, my mom, for no reason, told me to give up and that I would fail in life. She even said she can't wait until I leave the house. I felt numb and didn't care anymore. I'm just so tired of this existence, and I feel like I don't deserve any of this.
As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a basement filled with trash, old clothes, and garbage surrounding me. I even saw a couple of roaches. I've become so lazy that I don't even use tissues when I ejaculate anymore; I just use my old clothes or food wrappers and bags. I only take a shower twice a week, and I brush my teeth every other day. It truly feels like it's all over for me
.Please note that this story takes place in sims 4 and is not real.
