All my life I've been a meaningless piece of shit that even my family didn't respect. My father and mother didn't care about me till I was 12 and by that till my nt brother left for hs I fucking hate him. He was always loved not me he was always the one with the trophys while I was a pathetic skinny kid. Mom always said to me that *why couldn't you be more like him" idk mom cuz my fucking brain chemistry isn't the same as you. He fucking broke my arm at one point like a cm long gap in my bones and my parents didn't even punish him. How could they he was their golden child. At least school was barrable. Even in first grade I had a high sex drive I remember one thing I would think about is mermaids dragging me down to the sea floor and raping me down there. It turned me on I was a fucking weird kid. Ofc the minute I hit puberty it all went to shit everyone else was taller than me and now that was even more aparent. And I was also Neuro divergent so I was treated love even bigger shit. I remember thinking about slaughtering the people who bullied me and showing their corpses to their families. Every day I have to live is now even worse im alone and the only thing I can do is talk to myself and cope about having a beautiful girlfriend which I can fall asleep into her embrace. That will never happen of course women are utterly repulsed by me I don't know why I have a good jawline even ramus projection! I fucking deserve the bitches that get fucked by the retarded niggers that walk around my school I should be the one that gets to pump and dump a foid. I should be the one that gets to live a lavish lifestyle not there failures in Evolution IM smarter IM better looking so why do these waste of my oxygen get to reproduce while I rot. They are lucky I'm poor or I would swat them away like the cockroaches they are. But I know that won't happen so will probably just fucking kill myself with some gas and die while taking any drug I can find hopefully I get to die happy
