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Serious I'm giving life an absolute last chance before giving up and roping before even finishing what I have.

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SlutLiberationFront

SlutLiberationFront

꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅꧅
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May 6, 2021
Posts
11,154
  • Hello ID, this time I am posting here instead of posting in the sewers, hidden away from everyone and keeping it for the people close to me in the forum because they show up in my sewer threads that absolutely belong on ID but I don't like posting on ID that much.



I want to give life an absolute last chance. I am really fucking done with a lot of shit. Nothing ever works, nothing ever goes right, it always goes wrong. I'm on a shit ton of medications that are extremely strong and expensive, and they don't work. I sought therapy and I am insisting in it, still tweaking medications to see what works, but doesn't matter how much I take, which ones I take, nothing works, and I know I should not give up now because it can take up to more than a year to find the right combination that works, but I literally feel no effects.

I'm still having terrible nightmares, I never feel rested or with any speck of energy, debilitating anxiety, depression has never been worse in my life and I've never felt so abandoned and hopeless. I let it all out to my therapist and he recommended "good therapies" that I will go to. But there is a catch for me.

How can I be considered anything close to a normal, functional person that can do anything if I will need specialized therapy for the rest of my life, being on a shit ton of medications for mental illness?



  • How can I be considered anything close to a normal, functional person that can do anything if I will need specialized therapy for the rest of my life, being on a shit ton of medications for mental illness?

  • That is not being normal, nor functional because if you lose any of your lines you are done, gone. I have been trying my best, I really have, but, it's going nowhere as expecting, but I'm not giving up yet as I know it can take some time. I found myself lucky because a few family members are being supportive and comprehensive about my situation and my mental illness that they know cannot go away or changed, can only be slightly tamed with medication.​
  • How can I give life an absolute last chance? It's not really about women at this point, I already gave up as there is really, absolutely no fucking chance it's gonna happen that someone will like me, it's that there is nothing in this life for me.
  • I can absolutely do nothing useful, I cannot work, I cannot function, no woman wants someone like that in their life, a dead weight, a burden to carry and support, it simply does not exist, no one wants an useless mentally ill man that has to take a shit ton of medications to be kept under control and constant therapy.​


I already took the first steps and I am trying to see what medications work, my psychiatrist was sincere, and I was sincere, I told him I totally refuse to live a life of workarounds and copes. I don't want to cope because I can't have a thing, I WANT that thing. I don't want to live working around problems, I want to NOT have problems. He said the therapies he recommended me are strong, and I will try my best to go through them, all in, if one does not work, then I try the other, if it does not work, I try the other, if it does not work, then I'm done.

If I can't live a normal like a human being, a thing that I am unable to feel as, then there is no point in living. Who wants to live without even feeling like a human?


I feel detached, I feel distant, nothing distracts me, nothing works, nothing goes the right way and I am tired of it.


Not even small things go the right way, and my learning disability and attention deficit will make it impossible for me to have any job or education, so why bother?
People tell me to distract myself without ever realizing or being capable of conceiving that I am a person that cannot be distract from my thoughts and depression, nothing distracts me from these things, absolutely nothing. Nothing is fun, nothing feels genuine, sometimes I don't even know anymore if I'm dreaming or awake, or even alive.
I don't want to live without feeling like a human deserving of something.


  • How can I just dive in in life and go all out giving it a chance in these circumstances?
  • I don't care, I want to say that I at least tried, I already have tried all these years but not to this extent, and now that I am in therapy and following the right steps to help with mental illness and disabilities, I need the other things now. I'm still undesirable in every way, autistic, everything, and as I already said, no one respects someone almost in their 30's who cannot work or do basic things because his brain is almost dead disabling him from functioning like a person.​


I want to have friends, I want to know and see that I have created memories, but all I see in the future, if I have a long term one, is someone old and bitter sitting at a bar or by myself at home, bitterly complaining and shutting people down, shunning them for being better than me. I absolutely envy anyone who is better than me at anything because I feel fucking useless, I will not even ever be an independent adult like a fucking adult should be, who wants a friend like that, let alone a partner to share things with, do things, just go out, have fun?
People can be supportive but not to that extent. No woman wants such man, no family.
The only thing that can save me from this horrible fate of roping alone, sad, forgotten, detached, throwing a whole life in the trash, is if things work out.


  • I want to give life a try, I really want, before giving up once and for all without even finishing what I have, because I am not even doing anything anymore.
  • I want to give life a try, I really want, before giving up once and for all without even finishing what I have, because I am not even doing anything anymore. I've been sleeping over for 30 hours lately non-stop sometimes, it's depressing, I don't feel human, I'm distant, disconnected, I'm just not here. I look at people and ask myself what they are because I don't feel like one of them, and they don't think I am one of them either, because I am everything they are not.​


The problem at hand is that I am not a human being anymore at this point, but still eagerly trying and wanting to live like one, and have experiences, but I feel lost and unable to, even though I'm trying to take the right steps. No one wants someone like me, as a partner or friend, because I'm useless, I serve no purpose, and have NOTHING to offer to anyone, and no one respects someone in such position, a dependent adult, incapable of doing things simply because nothing allows me to.
 
man, i know you are desperate, but therapy is a load of bullshit and you know it. if people are knocking you down every chance they get the problem isn't your brain's chemistry
 
man, i know you are desperate, but therapy is a load of bullshit and you know it. if people are knocking you down every chance they get the problem isn't your brain's chemistry
In therapy I will be able to have access to more medication to see if I can at least control some of the things I have, I know it's a scam and bullshit but I'm all in in this, I have to try anything possible, even if it leads to just a few days of joy, I will have won. My depressive state is too much and even the psychiatrist finds it difficult to deal with, but with access to medication it could be at least possible to control some of the symptoms. 2 days ago I was hallucinating like hell, like never before, so I'm not sure if my schizo is getting worse, but I had never hallucinated like that before.
 
Last edited:
You've always made excellent threads. I'll post my Vocaroo for insight.
 
You've always made excellent threads. I'll post my Vocaroo for insight.


View: https://vocaroo.com/1cgenwjJ9Q7K



View: https://vocaroo.com/13whhHG9XCYB



View: https://vocaroo.com/1kMPkBqjakVY



View: https://vocaroo.com/1lFgHMxNdXEB




Unable to integrate, I found myself dissociated from general society and spent my hours on an Internet Q/A website for hyper-partisan White males of middle-age.

Screenshot from 2022 01 16 16 52 38
 
Humanity is the species consisting of the stupidest and smartest animals; the actions of the former misrepresent the voices of the latter.
The other way around is also true.
 
You see yourself through the eyes of normies and judge yourself from this standpoint. This generates a great deal of anxiety that you can't deal with.

You are not normie, don't be harsh on yourself.
 
I don't know what to say: I don't think there is any point on existing when you're an outcast. LDAR, hang in there... I don't know, but suicide should be your ultimate choice.
 
Humanity is the species consisting of the stupidest and smartest animals; the actions of the former misrepresent the voices of the latter.
 
First of all, thank you to opening up with us.
I wish you nothing but good things to you.

I would like to point out just one thing, since we're on incels.is, quoting you:
"no woman wants someone like that in their life, a dead weight, a burden to carry and support, it simply does not exist, no one wants an useless mentally ill man that has to take a shit ton of medications to be kept under control and constant therapy."

Sadly righr. BUT... there would be plenty of women throwing panties at you, ready to marry your mentally-illed ass if... you would had the aspect of Chris Hemsworth or some chad like that.

About the rest, i have no answers to your problems, i wish i had. I can only encourage you to stay strong brother.
 
How crucial are your medications? I never took psychiatric pills but they obviously can fuck with your brain.
Also, do you masturbate often? I often have nightmares after masturbation.
I like you never considered myself part of the soyciety. I feel like alien instead.
The fact that you can't work may be blessing in disguise.
Normie collectives are about power struggle ( even if it's not always obvious). Normies are backstabbing, will talk about you behind your back ( they also denigrate their normie coworkers behind their backs ).
If you have weak nervous system like myself, working with normies is desperately depressive.
Especially if you have soft character.
 
woah, i thought you roped
 
In therapy I will be able to have access to more medication to see if I can at least control some of the things I have, I know it's a scam and bullshit but I'm all in in this, I have to try anything possible, even if it leads to just a few days of joy, I will have won. My depressive state is too much and even the psychiatrist finds it difficult to deal with, but with access to medication it could be at least possible to control some of the symptoms. 2 days ago I was hallucinating like hell, like never before, so I'm not sure if my schizo is getting worse, but I had never hallucinated like that before.
bro living only because of medication is no way to be. it's either ascension or death, don't cope with jewpills. how old are you?
 
You see yourself through the eyes of normies and judge yourself from this standpoint. This generates a great deal of anxiety that you can't deal with.

You are not normie, don't be harsh on yourself.
 
You are strongly selfaware , it is a blessing and a curse.
Maybe if you can get any government support you can use it to, as you said, find a combination that works.
And if you live in a first world country there are plenty of jobs you can get without formal education. They may be simple, but will pay the rent and will put you in contact with people.
If you have zero standards at this point you may be surprised on how people live with almost nothing.
 
the cessation of life to end suffering. It's only logical.

984da996c6a3b475ebaab649938abe82
 
Humanity is the species consisting of the stupidest and smartest animals; the actions of the former misrepresent the voices of the latter.
Humanity is indeed full of stupid animals and you are one of them. Because 90% of them are stupid, and your last statement was stupid as fuck. The lower stratum of the hierarchy do not represent anything but their own banally retarded existence
 
Oh, but then you came along with your enlightening wit and blessed my impudent mind with your assiduous commentary. I am grateful kind and noble souls like yourself can spare some ridicule in the pursuit of wisdom. However, I do have one criticism, if you intend to place yourself among the ranks of the intellectual and wealthy individuals I advise you to acknowledge that you are merely representing yourself as anything but a buffoon, despite being a buffoon. My sentiment was stupid, but now it is smart.
I don't place myself anywhere, I am just observing how much of a total faggot you expressed yourself to be.
 
Humanity is the species consisting of the stupidest and smartest animals; the actions of the former misrepresent the voices of the latter.
Far too true.
 
  • Hello ID, this time I am posting here instead of posting in the sewers, hidden away from everyone and keeping it for the people close to me in the forum because they show up in my sewer threads that absolutely belong on ID but I don't like posting on ID that much.



I want to give life an absolute last chance. I am really fucking done with a lot of shit. Nothing ever works, nothing ever goes right, it always goes wrong. I'm on a shit ton of medications that are extremely strong and expensive, and they don't work. I sought therapy and I am insisting in it, still tweaking medications to see what works, but doesn't matter how much I take, which ones I take, nothing works, and I know I should not give up now because it can take up to more than a year to find the right combination that works, but I literally feel no effects.

I'm still having terrible nightmares, I never feel rested or with any speck of energy, debilitating anxiety, depression has never been worse in my life and I've never felt so abandoned and hopeless. I let it all out to my therapist and he recommended "good therapies" that I will go to. But there is a catch for me.

How can I be considered anything close to a normal, functional person that can do anything if I will need specialized therapy for the rest of my life, being on a shit ton of medications for mental illness?



  • How can I be considered anything close to a normal, functional person that can do anything if I will need specialized therapy for the rest of my life, being on a shit ton of medications for mental illness?
  • That is not being normal, nor functional because if you lose any of your lines you are done, gone. I have been trying my best, I really have, but, it's going nowhere as expecting, but I'm not giving up yet as I know it can take some time. I found myself lucky because a few family members are being supportive and comprehensive about my situation and my mental illness that they know cannot go away or changed, can only be slightly tamed with medication.​
  • How can I give life an absolute last chance? It's not really about women at this point, I already gave up as there is really, absolutely no fucking chance it's gonna happen that someone will like me, it's that there is nothing in this life for me.
  • I can absolutely do nothing useful, I cannot work, I cannot function, no woman wants someone like that in their life, a dead weight, a burden to carry and support, it simply does not exist, no one wants an useless mentally ill man that has to take a shit ton of medications to be kept under control and constant therapy.​


I already took the first steps and I am trying to see what medications work, my psychiatrist was sincere, and I was sincere, I told him I totally refuse to live a life of workarounds and copes. I don't want to cope because I can't have a thing, I WANT that thing. I don't want to live working around problems, I want to NOT have problems. He said the therapies he recommended me are strong, and I will try my best to go through them, all in, if one does not work, then I try the other, if it does not work, I try the other, if it does not work, then I'm done.

If I can't live a normal like a human being, a thing that I am unable to feel as, then there is no point in living. Who wants to live without even feeling like a human?


I feel detached, I feel distant, nothing distracts me, nothing works, nothing goes the right way and I am tired of it.


Not even small things go the right way, and my learning disability and attention deficit will make it impossible for me to have any job or education, so why bother?
People tell me to distract myself without ever realizing or being capable of conceiving that I am a person that cannot be distract from my thoughts and depression, nothing distracts me from these things, absolutely nothing. Nothing is fun, nothing feels genuine, sometimes I don't even know anymore if I'm dreaming or awake, or even alive.
I don't want to live without feeling like a human deserving of something.


  • How can I just dive in in life and go all out giving it a chance in these circumstances?
  • I don't care, I want to say that I at least tried, I already have tried all these years but not to this extent, and now that I am in therapy and following the right steps to help with mental illness and disabilities, I need the other things now. I'm still undesirable in every way, autistic, everything, and as I already said, no one respects someone almost in their 30's who cannot work or do basic things because his brain is almost dead disabling him from functioning like a person.​


I want to have friends, I want to know and see that I have created memories, but all I see in the future, if I have a long term one, is someone old and bitter sitting at a bar or by myself at home, bitterly complaining and shutting people down, shunning them for being better than me. I absolutely envy anyone who is better than me at anything because I feel fucking useless, I will not even ever be an independent adult like a fucking adult should be, who wants a friend like that, let alone a partner to share things with, do things, just go out, have fun?
People can be supportive but not to that extent. No woman wants such man, no family.
The only thing that can save me from this horrible fate of roping alone, sad, forgotten, detached, throwing a whole life in the trash, is if things work out.


  • I want to give life a try, I really want, before giving up once and for all without even finishing what I have, because I am not even doing anything anymore.
  • I want to give life a try, I really want, before giving up once and for all without even finishing what I have, because I am not even doing anything anymore. I've been sleeping over for 30 hours lately non-stop sometimes, it's depressing, I don't feel human, I'm distant, disconnected, I'm just not here. I look at people and ask myself what they are because I don't feel like one of them, and they don't think I am one of them either, because I am everything they are not.​


The problem at hand is that I am not a human being anymore at this point, but still eagerly trying and wanting to live like one, and have experiences, but I feel lost and unable to, even though I'm trying to take the right steps. No one wants someone like me, as a partner or friend, because I'm useless, I serve no purpose, and have NOTHING to offer to anyone, and no one respects someone in such position, a dependent adult, incapable of doing things simply because nothing allows me to.
If it helps you more power to you, but I am personally no believer in therapy or, at least in most cases, expensive medication for treating despair.

The reason is because most people are not in the pit of despair because their brain doesn’t work right. They’re in the pit of despair because they have deep unmet needs — our brain punishes us with despair when we chronically fail to meet these needs.

Trouble is, many people, at least in modern life simply cannot meet their needs. So how do we cope with that? It’s a tough question but therapy is, again in my view what do I know, just some asshole (usually a Stacy) that you pay top dollar to blow normie bluepilled bullshit up your ass. And the meds? They cost an arm and a leg and often don’t even work.

You could take all that money and instead invest it into a low cost passive total market index fund like VT or a good target date fund and it’ll be worth something in 20 years.

Cope is tough to come by but what I do is play video games, watch tv and anime, whack off, get good food, go for a walk everyday cuz it makes me feel a smidge better, and I grind my day job so I can afford copes. I also found a DnD group with other nerds. Some people do drugs to cope.

I understand not everyone has a net positive life and I don’t blame people for wanting to off themselves if their lives really are hell with no hope of righting the ship, but I hope you’re able to find something that makes you somewhat happy mate. It’s hard living life as a social reject, I know it is.
 
man, i know you are desperate, but therapy is a load of bullshit and you know it. if people are knocking you down every chance they get the problem isn't your brain's chemistry
I agree
 
As if listening to a TALKING head during "therapy" will solve fundamental feelings.
 
What happened, boyo? :feelsbadman:
 
Hey... are you alive ?
 

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