My room is messy, I have to wash clothes, still haven’t started looking for jobs. Everything feels so hard when your life is so void of meaning and joy, and having to exist as this unloveable filth. It’s like walking with the weight of a mountain on your back.
I’m still debating on if I will even live to work another job. But I planned to kill myself many times and all this time later and I’m still here. I’ve never worked for longer than a month.
All I wanna do are the things that bring me dopamine. And I keep up the bare minimum of hygiene like brushing teeth, washing face and hair, showering, etc. Just so I don’t feel even worse.
My genetics pretty much demand that I keep up with hygiene otherwise I’d be terribly itchy and sticky. And tooth brushing twice a day is essential because of the awful diet I have.
I’m still debating on if I will even live to work another job. But I planned to kill myself many times and all this time later and I’m still here. I’ve never worked for longer than a month.
All I wanna do are the things that bring me dopamine. And I keep up the bare minimum of hygiene like brushing teeth, washing face and hair, showering, etc. Just so I don’t feel even worse.
My genetics pretty much demand that I keep up with hygiene otherwise I’d be terribly itchy and sticky. And tooth brushing twice a day is essential because of the awful diet I have.
