Cope I'm done escortcelling. Don't think I'll do it again.

[Incel_Because_Short]

Honestly I think you have to be a certain kind of person in order to enjoy it.

Just went to see an escort today (my second time) and I really did not have a good time. Could not finish at all, even though the girl was cute and accommodating.

First girl I saw was doing Girlfriend Experience, and I enjoyed talking to her more than I enjoyed fucking her. The only reason why that one felt better was because she somewhat made me feel as if there was some sort of connection. I couldn't finish with her either but it felt good.

This girl I just saw didn't do GFE so it was literally just sex. Couldn't finish. She asked me why I felt so nervous and I lied and told her it was my first time doing it. She tried everything, even different positions and stuff, didn't work.

Anyhow I left. On the ride home, I realized that sex alone is not going to make me feel better. I don't need to fuck, I can pleasure myself just fine. I need a girlfriend. I need someone who likes me for me, who I can actually connect with. Someone I can talk with and confide with.

I will forever be envious of what Chad is able to get.

I don't think escortcelling will work for me anymore, I'm going to stick to alcohol. It's cheaper and more enjoyable.

 

[FrothySolutions]

I wouldn't. Alcohol will probably kill you.

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

I wouldn't. Alcohol will probably kill you.

Not the way I use it.

I just drink a small amount and watch YouTube, feels good.

 

[Caesercel]

you didn't go there drunk , did you? Alcohol can kill libido and erection?

Honestly I think you have to be a certain kind of person in order to enjoy it.

Just went to see an escort today (my second time) and I really did not have a good time. Could not finish at all, even though the girl was cute and accommodating.

First girl I saw was doing Girlfriend Experience, and I enjoyed talking to her more than I enjoyed fucking her. The only reason why that one felt better was because she somewhat made me feel as if there was some sort of connection. I couldn't finish with her either but it felt good.

This girl I just saw didn't do GFE so it was literally just sex. Couldn't finish. She asked me why I felt so nervous and I lied and told her it was my first time doing it. She tried everything, even different positions and stuff, didn't work.

Anyhow I left. On the ride home, I realized that sex alone is not going to make me feel better. I don't need to fuck, I can pleasure myself just fine. I need a girlfriend. I need someone who likes me for me, who I can actually connect with. Someone I can talk with and confide with.

I will forever be envious of what Chad is able to get.

I don't think escortcelling will work for me anymore, I'm going to stick to alcohol. It's cheaper and more enjoyable.

keep talking like this and by the end of 2020 you are gonna transition into a foid.

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

you didn't go there drunk , did you? Alcohol can kill libido and erection?

Nah dude I went in 100% sober. I might even have been able to enjoy myself better if I were stoned or drunk.

I don't have erection problems at all, zero problems with keeping it up.

 

[Caesercel]

Nah dude I went in 100% sober. I might even have been able to enjoy myself better if I were stoned or drunk.

I don't have erection problems at all, zero problems with keeping it up.

what's the issue then. Just go in and out.

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

Because you still haven't killed your ego. You don't see women for what they are (disposable objects that give sex) but what you want them to be (dispensers of validation).

Stop putting female validation above physical enjoyment. If it helps, have a mate pay a prostitute for surprise romance/sex for you. So he'll pick some random escort or sugarbaby foid to chat you up someplace and make you happy.

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

what's the issue then. Just go in and out.

Yeah that's what I did for 15 minutes. Good cardio too, the girls started sweating before I did, they had me stop.

 

[Deleted member 22999]

Depressing tbh

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

Because you still haven't killed your ego. You don't see women for what they are (disposable objects that give sex) but what you want them to be (dispensers of validation).

Stop putting female validation above physical enjoyment. If it helps, have a mate pay a prostitute for surprise romance/sex for you. So he'll pick some random escort or sugarbaby foid to chat you up someplace and make you happy.

You're absolutely right. I probably have not killed my ego yet. Either way I won't be escortcelling for a while.

 

[Caesercel]

Because you still haven't killed your ego. You don't see women for what they are (disposable objects that give sex) but what you want them to be (dispensers of validation).

Stop putting female validation above physical enjoyment. If it helps, have a mate pay a prostitute for surprise romance/sex for you. So he'll pick some random escort or sugarbaby foid to chat you up someplace and make you happy.

I didn't see foids as dispensers of validation in my non blackpilled days

Yeah that's what I did for 15 minutes. Good cardio too, the girls started sweating before I did, they had me stop.

so you had an erection,. thrust with it, but couldn't finish? Either you have godly stamina or some other issue.

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

so you had an erection,. thrust with it, but couldn't finish? Either you have godly stamina or some other issue.

It was probably because I was nervous but I really don't know.

 

[mänline]

Because you still haven't killed your ego. You don't see women for what they are (disposable objects that give sex) but what you want them to be (dispensers of validation).

This again.
So you have to feed yourself permanent this mantra, until you believe it to enjoy such experience. Sounds natural....not.

Yes, stupid to expect validation from a hooker, but when hookers would satisfy all needs, there would be no marriages, relationships and male-female friendships, even no hook-ups.

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

I didn't see foids as dispensers of validation in my non blackpilled days

What did you see them as?

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

This again.
So you have to feed yourself permanent this mantra, until you believe it to enjoy such experience. Sounds natural....not.

Yes, stupid to expect validation from a hooker, but when hookers would satisfy all needs, there would be no marriages, relationships and male-female friendships, even no hook-ups.

You're right. Honestly if you have to kill a part of yourself just to enjoy something, then it's not worth it.

 

[Deleted member 25467]

Dude, I've felt the same way these last few days. I went to a massage place earlier and banged a cute Asian girl but I'm done. Just sticking your meat inside a wet whole won't make you happy. I think virgins should try escortcelling for a while to finally get laid but once you do it long enough you realize that what you want is the connection and validation that comes with having a partner.

 

[Caesercel]

What did you see them as?

Nothing. My interaction with them has been limited. And whatever I did have was negative. I was filled with inferiority complexes ever since teenage days and always realized that the chances of a foid ever showing interest are nill, so I stayed away untill absolutely necessary.

 

[radishman]

Escorting just doesn't do it for me. Even long-term with a sugar baby just becomes more work than pleasure. I do wonder if that's how a gf would be after a while too. Just a burden with more annoying parts than good. Will never find out though.

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

This again.
So you have to feed yourself permanent this mantra, until you believe it to enjoy such experience. Sounds natural....not.

Yes, stupid to expect validation from a hooker, but when hookers would satisfy all needs, there would be no marriages, relationships and male-female friendships, even no hook-ups.

Do you think a stud who fucks 100 women gives a shit whatever any of them think about him? Only low SMV men care about such things, because chad unconsciously knows he is what the foid is after so he can set the terms of the relationship. We care because we have no exit plan. He can just fuck another women.

This need for validation is a culturally learned ideal derived from gynocracy. It is not present in socities with traditional patriarchy.

 

[Angry_runt]

Chads get married for a reason. Fucking is not enough for pretty much anybody.

 

[BlkPillPres]

I enjoyed talking to her more than I enjoyed fucking her

You have to cure your cuck brain first before you can begin to enjoy life lol

Here's the question though, if that's how it works for you, wouldn't you just end up being incel anyways even if you were good looking enough to get a GF, because you'd just end up being the "nice guy" who is "boring in bed" and she just cheats on you?

If you can't get it up for an attractive woman willing to fuck you, what makes you think you'll be able to do that just because you are both interacting under the label of "in a relationship", mutual attraction isn't magically going to make your dick work, if you can't fuck now, you wouldn't be able to fuck even if you got a GF, not to any degree that would be satisfactory for your GF

Yes, stupid to expect validation from a hooker, but when hookers would satisfy all needs, there would be no marriages, relationships and male-female friendships, even no hook-ups.

Marriages are a socialized norm, men do it to secure that their resources gets passed down their genetic line, it has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction

There's no such thing as a "male - female friendship" unless the guy is gay, if two individuals male and female are attractive, they will have "feelings" for eachother and will want to have sex, unless they are already paired up, but even then that's not really a "friendship", that's just two people that like eachother and have eachother on the back burner as "just in case"

Literally every normie guy I've talked to that has a female friend has dated, fucked her or wants to fuck her, that's not a friendship

I don't get your point about "hook-ups" lol, a hook-up is as devoid of "emotional attachment" as paying for sex so I don't get what you used it as an example

This need for validation is a culturally learned ideal derived from gynocracy. It is not present in socities with traditional patriarchy.

You're right. Honestly if you have to kill a part of yourself just to enjoy something, then it's not worth it.

It was never a part of you, you were indoctrinated with these beliefs, how come you guys can't get this through your thick skull, its like saying your religion is a part of you, no it isn't, you were taught those beliefs, just like you were taught the language you speak, they aren't a part of you

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

You have to cure your cuck brain first before you can begin to enjoy life lol

Here's the question though, if that's how it works for you, wouldn't you just end up being incel anyways even if you were good looking enough to get a GF, because you'd just end up being the "nice guy" who is "boring in bed" and she just cheats on you?

If you can't get it up for an attractive woman willing to fuck you, what makes you think you'll be able to do that just because you are both interacting under the label of "in a relationship", mutual attraction isn't magically going to make your dick work, if you can't fuck now, you wouldn't be able to fuck even if you got a GF, not to any degree that would be satisfactory for your GF


Marriages are a socialized norm, men do it to secure that their resources gets passed down their genetic line, it has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction

There's no such thing as a "male - female friendship" unless the guy is gay, if two individuals male and female are attractive, they will have "feelings" for eachother and will want to have sex, unless they are already paired up, but even then that's not really a "friendship", that's just two people that like eachother and have eachother on the back burner as "just in case"

Literally every normie guy I've talked to that has a female friend has dated, fucked her or wants to fuck her, that's not a friendship

I don't get your point about "hook-ups" lol, a hook-up is as devoid of "emotional attachment" as paying for sex so I don't get what you used it as an example





It was never a part of you, you were indoctrinated with these beliefs, how come you guys can't get this through your thick skull, its like saying your religion is a part of you, no it isn't, you were taught those beliefs, just like you were taught the language you speak, they aren't a part of you

Trust me I had no problems keeping it up, I just couldn't coom. Pounding a girl for 15 minutes straight is probably not going to get her off either. These girls had to take a break because their cardio was so shit, and I didn't break a sweat lol.

Yeah there's something wrong with me. I need to sort myself out.

 

[BlkPillPres]

Yeah there's something wrong with me. I need to sort myself out.

So you are hard and erect buy you can't reach orgasm?

Maybe these bitches aren't "your type", next time try to go for one that fits everything you want

For my next one I'm going for a short petite asian, 4ft something, like legal loli tier JFL

I'll be hard before we even say one word to eachother lol

Maybe it just feels like you are "trying" too much and that's ruining the experience for you

The first one I fucked (only one) was the exact opposite of my typee, she was taller than me, thick, big ass, I could not handle her at all, and I was going soft at some times, I just couldn't enjoy myself much, I did reach orgasm though because I'm thirsty as fuck

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

So you are hard and erect buy you can't reach orgasm?

Maybe these bitches aren't "your type", next time try to go for one that fits everything you want

For my next one I'm going for a short petite asian, 4ft something, like legal loli tier JFL

I'll be hard before we even say one word to eachother lol

Maybe it just feels like you are "trying" too much and that's ruining the experience for you

The first one I fucked (only one) was the exact opposite of my time, she was taller than me, thick, big ass, I could not handle her at all, and I was going soft at some times, I just couldn't enjoy myself

I tried twice with two completely different girls.

First girl was white, 5'2", 115 lbs. Very cute face. Couldn't finish.

Second one was a latina about 5'3", 130 lbs. Huge ass, nice big tits that were pierced. Couldn't finish.

Second one was admittedly more my type than the first.

I'm not sure if I would enjoy a taller chick, honestly I think most girls are the same.

 

[BlkPillPres]

I'm not sure if I would enjoy a taller chick, honestly I think most girls are the same.

What about shorter?

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

What about shorter?

I'm 5'5", my type is girls 1-2" shorter. Haven't tried any smaller or any taller.

 

[Tenshi]

Because you still haven't killed your ego. You don't see women for what they are (disposable objects that give sex) but what you want them to be (dispensers of validation).

Stop putting female validation above physical enjoyment. If it helps, have a mate pay a prostitute for surprise romance/sex for you. So he'll pick some random escort or sugarbaby foid to chat you up someplace and make you happy.

high iq tbh

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

I tried twice with two completely different girls.

First girl was white, 5'2", 115 lbs. Very cute face. Couldn't finish.

Second one was a latina about 5'3", 130 lbs. Huge ass, nice big tits that were pierced. Couldn't finish.

Second one was admittedly more my type than the first.

I'm not sure if I would enjoy a taller chick, honestly I think most girls are the same.

Your ego is what holds you back. You need to do the method I described if possible. Have some hooker "surprise" you.

 

[Cyrrow]

Knew I didn't just want sex after I lost my virginity to an escort. Honestly wish I never visited one, at least then I could still be ignorant about what I want with a woman.

 

[BlkPillPres]

have a mate pay a prostitute for surprise romance/sex for you. So he'll pick some random escort or sugarbaby foid to chat you up someplace and make you happy.

JFL this, its so fucking ridiculous that convoluted shit like this is required for men to want to have sex, our ancestors weren't so obsessed with female validation that they literally cuck themselves

The fact that so many men think like this has proven to me that when it comes to nature vs nurture, nurture is definitely the more influential factor (especially when it comes to humans)

 

[Deleted member 301]

I wouldn't. Alcohol will probably kill you.

Wise words, it very nearly killed me in December 2019 and I still suffer with alcohol-related ailments today and will for the rest of my life.

I'm going to stick to alcohol. It's cheaper and more enjoyable.

 

[shii410]

On the ride home, I realized that sex alone is not going to make me feel better. I don't need to fuck, I can pleasure myself just fine. I need a girlfriend. I need someone who likes me for me, who I can actually connect with. Someone I can talk with and confide with.

have had this exact same thought many times, really bizarre to me how most people see sex as a purely physical, superficial and selfish act

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

Your ego is what holds you back. You need to do the method I described if possible. Have some hooker "surprise" you.

Escortcelling is illegal you know that right? What you're asking for is sorta impossible. I need:

-A friend who doesn't have a negative opinion on using hookers or isn't afraid of the law.

-A friend who won't reveal that I want to see a hooker (which if anyone were to find out I would get dishonourably discharged)

-A friend who will accept money from me to get a hooker.

It's just unrealistic.

 

[Deleted member 19546]

Desire for intimate relationships is biological.

People who come here calling you soy saying you have to “kill your ego” are bullshitting you. Most of these people already fuck hookers on the regular, if you think they were satisfied and didn’t care for intimacy they wouldn’t be coming here.

What you feel is not induced by social construct, many other species apart from humans have monogamous relationships and suffer from a lack of it, some outright dying from heartbreak.

If it was really all about just cumming in pussy that wouldn’t happen. This hedonistic nihilistic philosophy leads to nothing but misery and it shows when the users who spout this shit keep bringing their anger and resentment here.

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

have had this exact same thought many times, really bizarre to me how most people see sex as a purely physical, superficial and selfish act

Desire for intimate relationships is biological.

People who come here calling you soy saying you have to “kill your ego” are bullshitting you. Most of these people already fuck hookers on the regular, if you think they were satisfied and didn’t care for intimacy they wouldn’t be coming here.

What you feel is not induced by social construct, many other species apart from humans have monogamous relationships and suffer from a lack of it, some outright dying from heartbreak.

If it was really all about just cumming in pussy that wouldn’t happen. This hedonistic nihilistic philosophy leads to nothing but misery and it shows when the users who spout this shit keep bringing their anger and resentment here.

It's really not just about sex. I'm not saying you can't enjoy escortcelling, but the kind of person that would enjoy escortcelling is probably someone wired to not really care about social relationships at all.

I think I would enjoy it if I were drunk or high.

 

[Dregster]

so you had an erection,. thrust with it, but couldn't finish? Either you have godly stamina or some other issue.

It's a mental issue.

If he had the validation he seeked, he would cum within 5 minutes

 

[NoCopeNoHope]

Desire for intimate relationships is biological.

People who come here calling you soy saying you have to “kill your ego” are bullshitting you. Most of these people already fuck hookers on the regular, if you think they were satisfied and didn’t care for intimacy they wouldn’t be coming here.

What you feel is not induced by social construct, many other species apart from humans have monogamous relationships and suffer from a lack of it, some outright dying from heartbreak.

If it was really all about just cumming in pussy that wouldn’t happen. This hedonistic nihilistic philosophy leads to nothing but misery and it shows when the users who spout this shit keep bringing their anger and resentment here.

Indeed this desire is displayed in other species. But humans are not meant to purely monogamous. Advanced civilization requires us to be monogamous, but the default state for chimps and most other primates including humans is one alpha having female sexual access while betas fight for control. We are a sexually hierarchical species and we need to recognize this. Patriarchal societies set up a system in which most males were granted reproductive and sexual access, thus having a stake in the system. This paradigm lasted for quite some time, approximately 4500 years or more. But we no longer exist under this paradigm due to a combination of both social and technological factors. These factors need to be taken into account and understood. Chasing what doesn't really exist anymore is not an acceptable way to live.

OP wants validation. He, being a low status male, will never receive validation, especially from the women he wants to fuck judging by his choice in whores. Similar to a paraplegic with no legs wishing he could walk, his efforts to obtain this will be futile. Except the paraplegic can use prosthetics to walk, where as there are no prosthetics for OP's face and height. Thus, it is pointless to continue chasing what you cannot get. Doing so leads to the misery and destruction mentioned in your post. What is needed is understanding. His ego will not be satisfied with pure sex. His ego needs the illusion of mutual attraction. This is normal for many men, and especially so for those who are low status in a gynocentric society. Western feminist societies seek to amplify these natural tendencies and make them soul crushing for the purpose of controlling and directing male power, labor and productivity.

My anger and resentment doesn't come from women not feeling attracted to me. I grew out of that years ago. I understand my role was meant to be a beta provider. But I'm compelled to disobey this and seek to convince others to disobey. My anger and hatred for women comes from them openly lying about what they are and seeking to manipulate and gaslight me and billions of other males like me to benefit their gender and parasitic activities.

Escortcelling is illegal you know that right? What you're asking for is sorta impossible. I need:

-A friend who doesn't have a negative opinion on using hookers or isn't afraid of the law.

-A friend who won't reveal that I want to see a hooker (which if anyone were to find out I would get dishonourably discharged)

-A friend who will accept money from me to get a hooker.

It's just unrealistic.

I'm sorry brocel, but it's going to be difficult for you. A really good GFE like the first one you went to is a rare experience. Most whores (or foids in general) don't have the heart and soul needed to do such a thing repeatedly. My advice, if you can't go the "surprise" route, would be to see that first whore again if possible. Just don't fall into her magic spell and become a loyal paypig for her. She'll start manipulating you or cut you off completely.

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

That's ok tbh. I don't think i'll ever do it

 

[PPEcel]

Trust me, if you escortcel regularly, it is inevitable that you will meet someone who you just don't click with. Or maybe you will meet someone who you do click with, but your dick just doesn't function at that particular moment.

When that happens, just take a break from visiting whores. Eventually, you'll have a serious hankering for human contact and you'll get back to it.

It's a very tough habit to break.

 

[your personality]

Knew I didn't just want sex after I lost my virginity to an escort. Honestly wish I never visited one, at least then I could still be ignorant about what I want with a woman.

Brutal realizationpill.

JFL this, its so fucking ridiculous that convoluted shit like this is required for men to want to have sex, our ancestors weren't so obsessed with female validation that they literally cuck themselves

The fact that so many men think like this has proven to me that when it comes to nature vs nurture, nurture is definitely the more influential factor (especially when it comes to humans)

It's like the roles are reversed. Nowadays you have so many men longing for a relationship and an emotional connection with women and not just sex while women wanna just fuck good lucking people.

Idk what happened. Explains why detached boomer cope about how "love isn't real" is no longer relatable to a lot of Millenials and Gen Z.

Desire for intimate relationships is biological.

People who come here calling you soy saying you have to “kill your ego” are bullshitting you. Most of these people already fuck hookers on the regular, if you think they were satisfied and didn’t care for intimacy they wouldn’t be coming here.

What you feel is not induced by social construct, many other species apart from humans have monogamous relationships and suffer from a lack of it, some outright dying from heartbreak.

If it was really all about just cumming in pussy that wouldn’t happen. This hedonistic nihilistic philosophy leads to nothing but misery and it shows when the users who spout this shit keep bringing their anger and resentment here.

If it wasn't real before, after engaging in bluepilled romantic fantasy it's tough to shake the notion of intimacy when you have felt that you have experienced it once however brief it was.
Even if it wasn't a thing in the past, there is so much programmed into men over the years and so many men that have experienced intimacy from a woman and retold it so that it has been reinforced as another milestone in life. Intimacy that can't be purchased is by default one of the expected products of a successful sexual life for a man.

 

[Deleted member 23981]

im going to try it with a hot jap or korean girl

 

[riceronicel]

Honestly I think you have to be a certain kind of person in order to enjoy it.

Just went to see an escort today (my second time) and I really did not have a good time. Could not finish at all, even though the girl was cute and accommodating.

First girl I saw was doing Girlfriend Experience, and I enjoyed talking to her more than I enjoyed fucking her. The only reason why that one felt better was because she somewhat made me feel as if there was some sort of connection. I couldn't finish with her either but it felt good.

This girl I just saw didn't do GFE so it was literally just sex. Couldn't finish. She asked me why I felt so nervous and I lied and told her it was my first time doing it. She tried everything, even different positions and stuff, didn't work.

Anyhow I left. On the ride home, I realized that sex alone is not going to make me feel better. I don't need to fuck, I can pleasure myself just fine. I need a girlfriend. I need someone who likes me for me, who I can actually connect with. Someone I can talk with and confide with.

I will forever be envious of what Chad is able to get.

I don't think escortcelling will work for me anymore, I'm going to stick to alcohol. It's cheaper and more enjoyable.

definitely cheaper that’s for sure. Getting a girlfriend is significantly more difficult, and in many ways requires you to put work and investment on yourself, which is quite possibly the hardest thing to start doing.

notice I said start doing and not just doing. I’m doing nature shit right now. Chopping wood, gardening, mowing lawns, tending to flowers and shit, etc. at first it’s hard, but if you focus, it gets easier. You just need to focus.

Hopefully a foid will notice you. I hope that for you brocel. I hope you’re young enough. I’m 37 and I’m way past the point of finding a foid. I just hope and pray for the best for you brocel.

 

[taloh]

First girl I saw was doing Girlfriend Experience, and I enjoyed talking to her more than I enjoyed fucking her.

Cuck

 

[Deleted member 19546]

Cuck

Joined: July 9 2020

 

[Mainländer]

Miresable after fucking an escort report nº 323632. Welcome to the club.

I'm glad God freed me from that shit.

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I've considered trying it a lot in the past, but ultimately I can't afford it, and I'm not going to change my lifestyle just to support something which I don't even really want in the first place. Also given my social anxiety and aversion to being touched, I doubt that I'd be able to enjoy it either, but who knows. Of course that's not a problem of mine exclusive to escortcelling, I mean that it would probably be difficult for me to enjoy sex at all, ironic as that is. Tbh I think I'd have to know the female extremely well to be comfortable, which is laughably unrealistic in 2020, even if I weren't ugly.

I don't need to fuck, I can pleasure myself just fine. I need a girlfriend. I need someone who likes me for me, who I can actually connect with. Someone I can talk with and confide with.

If you just want to talk to someone, it doesn't have to be a woman, try to find a friend who you can relate to. If you want to connect with someone who actually knows you, then maybe you could try tulpamaxxing like me. But ultimately you should try and accept that it's okay if women don't like you, until you do it's going to continuously make you feel bad, and you don't need more problems on top of already being incel.

Because you still haven't killed your ego. You don't see women for what they are (disposable objects that give sex) but what you want them to be (dispensers of validation).

I see them as harbingers of pain tbh, or as blatantly shallow and fake imitations of what I want them to be. Honestly I think I've taken the exact opposite approach, instead of trying to eliminate my expectations and idealism, through both I've been able to partially divorce myself from my physical desires and the world around me, probably the single best cope there is and the only thing that really makes me feel better. The only time such things become a problem is when you delude yourself into believing that the outside world is somehow capable of living up to them.

Of course it depends upon what you mean by ego, as I stopped trying to get validation from other people years ago, that happened at the tail end of my teens really. That was about the same time I stopped obsessing over my appearance, as I realized that it was completely futile. I more or less forced myself to stop seeing my body as "me", and I felt better for it.

have had this exact same thought many times, really bizarre to me how most people see sex as a purely physical, superficial and selfish act

How is sex not exactly that though? What you want something to be might not be the same thing as what it actually is, in fact I'd say this is the case for most things.

 

[Jerek]

Try massages, it's more foreplay and good to start (also always with GFE). Not chinese massage parlors. You will someday have pleasure just by having sex.

It's normal to feel like you felt if you go staight for escorts without GFE.