P
It's the former GrandmasterPaxcel here. I permanently deleted my account in February of 2021, and have decided to return anew after a long period of soul searching and personal development. I have missed the safehaven of communion I've felt here before, and I'm grateful to be back. If you do recognize me at all, then I say: Greetings!
Since my departure, I have went through significant further social and personal struggle, especially existential and suicidal struggle. Since my departure, nonetheless, I have managed with considerable difficulty to keep my head on my shoulders. I've since picked up some new hobbies/rediscovered some old ones, and I've even managed to overcome my pornography addiction for the most part.
Most interestingly is my growing infatuation with political-economics, more relevantly, my further interest in discovering of how a dying culture focused primarily upon the production, consumption, and exchange of commodities is driving itself into the ground by it's very contradictory nature, and how commodity culture is actually quite central to the alienation I experience.
Despite all this wonderful sounding progress, nonetheless, I still remain in my state of celibacy, as should surprise few, for I realize that the art of self improvement is not meant to be used to win the favour and affection of anyone else; this is naive and quite obviously does not work. It is meant to be used to improve one's own state of mind, simply for the sake of cope if anything. I have come to learn that cope is positive only when guided by truth. It's perfectly fine to want to cope with such a condition as this, so long as you do not delude yourself into thinking that self improvement will grant you some sort of salvation or anything of the kind. Remain stoic and grounded in reality, not delusional.
It's good to be back.
Since my departure, I have went through significant further social and personal struggle, especially existential and suicidal struggle. Since my departure, nonetheless, I have managed with considerable difficulty to keep my head on my shoulders. I've since picked up some new hobbies/rediscovered some old ones, and I've even managed to overcome my pornography addiction for the most part.
Most interestingly is my growing infatuation with political-economics, more relevantly, my further interest in discovering of how a dying culture focused primarily upon the production, consumption, and exchange of commodities is driving itself into the ground by it's very contradictory nature, and how commodity culture is actually quite central to the alienation I experience.
Despite all this wonderful sounding progress, nonetheless, I still remain in my state of celibacy, as should surprise few, for I realize that the art of self improvement is not meant to be used to win the favour and affection of anyone else; this is naive and quite obviously does not work. It is meant to be used to improve one's own state of mind, simply for the sake of cope if anything. I have come to learn that cope is positive only when guided by truth. It's perfectly fine to want to cope with such a condition as this, so long as you do not delude yourself into thinking that self improvement will grant you some sort of salvation or anything of the kind. Remain stoic and grounded in reality, not delusional.
It's good to be back.
Last edited:
