Im a Failure

[CorpseWatcher]

It's 5:41 AM on a thursday morning. I did nothing today... as I haven't done anything g for over 4 years. I haven't left my house but stayed in on Is., scrolled and watched YouTube and played vidya I went to get some water and as I pulled it out of the fridge, it all rushed to me: the children I would never have, the wife I'd never know, the friends I'll never have, the home that would never ring with laughter, or sit with a hush on a snowy sunday morning as everyone slept.

I have hit no personal highs. I've spent my life playing video games and made a half shit grades with no accolades but nothing worthy of a life. I am alone... deeply alone and at 5:31AM in the morning there is no one to tell this to. If I had more steel in me, No shit at 18 I'd kill myself right now. But I am afraid of everything. I'm afraid of success, of failure, of traveling and of the future. I have faded away and become a hermit with a tepid, pale hope of simply fading away.

 

[senses fail]

1: what vidya u play
2: you aren't truly alone, we are all suffering alongside one another
3: you can kill yourself, i believe in you

 

[CorpseWatcher]

1: what vidya u play
2: you aren't truly alone, we are all suffering alongside one another
3: you can kill yourself, i believe in you

 

[kay']

Alright, I'm about to fall asleep. Good talk.