You will not get over it. You will not move past it. You will be frozen in time craving proper social development, friends, girlfriends, experiences. things that seem like a default state of life just because such an overwhelmingly high number of people have them by default. Never having to put any effort into it. Just a part of life.
You miss out on youth, and the rest of your life becomes about making up for your lost youth. That’s your new purpose now. That’s the reason for your existence. You don’t have the luxury of having options. You don’t have the luxury of having normal people problems.
But you can’t make up for your youth. Not when you’re 20+. Too bitter, jaded, tired, mentally scarred. Even if you ascend, at best you can mimic relationships and experiences and just go through the motions of it pretending that “this is fun, I’m having a good time, life is a good thing”.. You are forever frozen in time and will NEVER get over it. You will never be able to move past it. You wanna have a family? Tough shit, you missed out on crucial developement milestones and it eats at you from the inside every second of every day. You’re 25, and you don’t even know what people are like. You don’t know what it’s like to have a friend, or be someone’s friend. You don’t know what joy is like. You don’t know what it like to be validated by a fellow human. You don’t know what girls are like. You don’t know what it’s like to be alone with one.. while for your peers, none of these things are novel. They’ve been having relationships and expieneces for 15 years already. They’re pros. They’ve had so much fun and don’t so much, that theyre now ready to settle down and have kids and live a quiet life.. but your life hasn’t even started yet, and you’re the same age as them.
There are 2 options when you miss out on your youth. Actively Cope with drugs, prostitutes, and other sources of dopamine spikes on an hourly basis until you die, or suicide. There is no alternative solution. Just another brutal, soul crushing, unfair truth. The chasm between haves and have nots is astounding. It’s like we lonelycels live in a different universe in another dimension with different laws of physics.
One the cadence of your life has been derailed in such a fundamental way, for such a long time, it is impossible to get back on track. Dusting yourself off and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps doesnt work in this case.. it just sounds good.
You miss out on youth, and the rest of your life becomes about making up for your lost youth. That’s your new purpose now. That’s the reason for your existence. You don’t have the luxury of having options. You don’t have the luxury of having normal people problems.
But you can’t make up for your youth. Not when you’re 20+. Too bitter, jaded, tired, mentally scarred. Even if you ascend, at best you can mimic relationships and experiences and just go through the motions of it pretending that “this is fun, I’m having a good time, life is a good thing”.. You are forever frozen in time and will NEVER get over it. You will never be able to move past it. You wanna have a family? Tough shit, you missed out on crucial developement milestones and it eats at you from the inside every second of every day. You’re 25, and you don’t even know what people are like. You don’t know what it’s like to have a friend, or be someone’s friend. You don’t know what joy is like. You don’t know what it like to be validated by a fellow human. You don’t know what girls are like. You don’t know what it’s like to be alone with one.. while for your peers, none of these things are novel. They’ve been having relationships and expieneces for 15 years already. They’re pros. They’ve had so much fun and don’t so much, that theyre now ready to settle down and have kids and live a quiet life.. but your life hasn’t even started yet, and you’re the same age as them.
There are 2 options when you miss out on your youth. Actively Cope with drugs, prostitutes, and other sources of dopamine spikes on an hourly basis until you die, or suicide. There is no alternative solution. Just another brutal, soul crushing, unfair truth. The chasm between haves and have nots is astounding. It’s like we lonelycels live in a different universe in another dimension with different laws of physics.
One the cadence of your life has been derailed in such a fundamental way, for such a long time, it is impossible to get back on track. Dusting yourself off and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps doesnt work in this case.. it just sounds good.
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