I met this girl back when I was 16–17. We had initially met in English Class and spoke to each other in science class, but prior to that, I saw her around school. She captivated me in a way no woman had ever done before. She was an artist and someone who was a little bit on the spectrum, but nevertheless, we became friends. My reasoning for being friends with her was because I was interested in the type of girl she was, and I wanted to date her, and after she moved schools it felt like a cruel joke because there had been so many coincidences/things that have stopped me from being with her. Ignoring all that I walked her home from school during this short span of time, we would talk about all sorts of things, and she would show me her drawings and talk about her Fanfictions and her OC's. We would also frequent a Starbucks where she would buy Cake pops (paid for by me) and, to be fair, being with her helped me so much. I felt like I had a purpose. For once, I had met someone who made me feel human, but God, ever the cruel tyrant, fleeced me from a relationship. She never saw me as anything more than a friend. We never dated, and as of now she's been ignoring me. It hurts even today that one moment defined who I was meant to be, and I have no doubt in my mind that if I had dated her I would have lived a much more fulfilling and peaceful life, a life where I'm not alone and riddled with self-hatred. I fucking hate my life. I hate how I'm not with her. I hate God for taking this opportunity away from me. I would have been a more jovial person. Alas, I'm not meant to be happy. It doesn't matter anymore.