Mainländer
Songwritercel
★★★★★
- Joined
- May 2, 2018
- Posts
- 38,247
I moved to Germany full of hope but my life here is way shittier than my previous life that was already shit.
At least back in Brazil I had my mom and aunt to pay everything for me and I could NEET. Here my father makes me work in the factory while he stays at home NEETing and pretending to work. No ones likes foreigners here the least (technically I'm no foreign, but in practice I am since I lived my whole life in Brazil).
Being both an incel and having to work is absolutely shitty and revolting, I work super hard making things that are absolutely vital for the functioning of society, a society that hates me, especially here, especially women.
And my last work was way worse, I worked like a mule carrying super heavy shit with people that absolutely hated me and then went up to the streets in the pauses to see super gorgeous young women scantily dressed shopping with the money their sugar daddies or bullshit government jobs give them.
Also, I just became 30 and being old sucks. I get uglier everyday and my will to live is lower every minute. My life is just cope at this point. I daydream almost 100% of the time, today I dreamed I was sleeping with Ui and Ritsu from K-On, this is like the pinnacle of happiness in the last months for me, too bad I seldom sleep enough since I must work and also help my father here and accompany him to his errands and whatnot.
I already have the money to flight back,most people would consider it a dumb move but I'm seriously consider it. Maybe I can NEET or at least semi-NEET if I get into a public university in Brazil (I can certainly do it if I aim for some shitty major and study a bit) and then when my mom dies I kill myself as well. I don't believe in suicide as a way out of this hell here but if life gets too unbearable it's a possibility.
At least back in Brazil I had my mom and aunt to pay everything for me and I could NEET. Here my father makes me work in the factory while he stays at home NEETing and pretending to work. No ones likes foreigners here the least (technically I'm no foreign, but in practice I am since I lived my whole life in Brazil).
Being both an incel and having to work is absolutely shitty and revolting, I work super hard making things that are absolutely vital for the functioning of society, a society that hates me, especially here, especially women.
And my last work was way worse, I worked like a mule carrying super heavy shit with people that absolutely hated me and then went up to the streets in the pauses to see super gorgeous young women scantily dressed shopping with the money their sugar daddies or bullshit government jobs give them.
Also, I just became 30 and being old sucks. I get uglier everyday and my will to live is lower every minute. My life is just cope at this point. I daydream almost 100% of the time, today I dreamed I was sleeping with Ui and Ritsu from K-On, this is like the pinnacle of happiness in the last months for me, too bad I seldom sleep enough since I must work and also help my father here and accompany him to his errands and whatnot.
I already have the money to flight back,most people would consider it a dumb move but I'm seriously consider it. Maybe I can NEET or at least semi-NEET if I get into a public university in Brazil (I can certainly do it if I aim for some shitty major and study a bit) and then when my mom dies I kill myself as well. I don't believe in suicide as a way out of this hell here but if life gets too unbearable it's a possibility.
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