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I wish school was more open.

Puer aeternus

Puer aeternus

Autistic little duckling.
-
Joined
Apr 4, 2023
Posts
2,346
I can't really express what i mean, but if you clicked read

In 7th grade i got put into a class with 3 dudes, 2 of which were hoodlums, and 1 barely speaking swedish, then i changed class at 8th grade. I became a social butterfly, my adhd was activated constantly, and i was probably made fun of, but in general had many friends up to 9th grade

Here comes the problem.

For truecels, school and your performance is a roll of a dice, i got put into a hoodlum class whilst being a normal incel looking dude, under the summer i got to experience virtually losing all friends from 9th grade, and spending my entire summer indoors mustering up more and more anxiety, my school life became annoying as hell, to be frank i had 1 other "loser" friend, but he at the very least were passionate for gaming, and was making more than i did a year through stocks (this guy had 36k in stocks at 17 lol)

So i got a bit bullied here and there, and may i say they were very kind, cuz i was one weird fuck. Honestly if i didn't have anxiety, i'd probably be a skater boy, maybe getting one sorry blowie from some chick in exchange for 5 grams of weed, alas that did not happen. I had high hopes for becoming an academic, if i didnt succeed on the social aspect, surely i'd succeed through academics? nope. School is mostly based on your social performance, whilst the chads were gathering decent grades and cruising through social life, i was getting no chill, all came crashing down when i finally got home.

Cut to 8th grade, i change class, i didn't factor in something, i got put into a giga chad class, they left me alone, but the weird looks, and people just knowing im a weirdo, and the occational weird gaze from women was enough. Instead of getting occational interactions from people i really don't liked, i now was completely surrounded by people, but completely excempt from any human interaction, hours of painstaking quiet was achieved, and again i fucked up. I almost immidietaly made friends from the extra curricular activites (which mixes in many classes) but ofc it wasnt sustained cuz of 1 class per week.

I would've done wayyyy better if classes were mixed, more people from different cliques, i'd probably have many friends from like-minded people. It was brutal seeing incels have friend groups, whilst i was rotting being invisible.

I guess this is more of a diary post. But so much pain could've been skipped. Really, im probably scarred for life. However im doing much better without school, and im truly thankful for my parents patience.
 
INb4 being bullied for wasting my time on gaming, yes it was indeed coping, but i used to see truecels bring their nintendo switches living in lala land, they didn't care about the weird looks, they scored high grades and had a blast.
maybe i was just a fish swimming with sharks
 
Also i vomitted today like a bitch from nicotine overdose with a healthy side of 43% of alcohol during work, got to interact with a bunch of mid aged people, my voice became dry and raspy after vomitting, so that definetely lowered my confidence
 
I can't really express what i mean, but if you clicked read

In 7th grade i got put into a class with 3 dudes, 2 of which were hoodlums, and 1 barely speaking swedish, then i changed class at 8th grade. I became a social butterfly, my adhd was activated constantly, and i was probably made fun of, but in general had many friends up to 9th grade

Here comes the problem.

For truecels, school and your performance is a roll of a dice, i got put into a hoodlum class whilst being a normal incel looking dude, under the summer i got to experience virtually losing all friends from 9th grade, and spending my entire summer indoors mustering up more and more anxiety, my school life became annoying as hell, to be frank i had 1 other "loser" friend, but he at the very least were passionate for gaming, and was making more than i did a year through stocks (this guy had 36k in stocks at 17 lol)

So i got a bit bullied here and there, and may i say they were very kind, cuz i was one weird fuck. Honestly if i didn't have anxiety, i'd probably be a skater boy, maybe getting one sorry blowie from some chick in exchange for 5 grams of weed, alas that did not happen. I had high hopes for becoming an academic, if i didnt succeed on the social aspect, surely i'd succeed through academics? nope. School is mostly based on your social performance, whilst the chads were gathering decent grades and cruising through social life, i was getting no chill, all came crashing down when i finally got home.

Cut to 8th grade, i change class, i didn't factor in something, i got put into a giga chad class, they left me alone, but the weird looks, and people just knowing im a weirdo, and the occational weird gaze from women was enough. Instead of getting occational interactions from people i really don't liked, i now was completely surrounded by people, but completely excempt from any human interaction, hours of painstaking quiet was achieved, and again i fucked up. I almost immidietaly made friends from the extra curricular activites (which mixes in many classes) but ofc it wasnt sustained cuz of 1 class per week.

I would've done wayyyy better if classes were mixed, more people from different cliques, i'd probably have many friends from like-minded people. It was brutal seeing incels have friend groups, whilst i was rotting being invisible.

I guess this is more of a diary post. But so much pain could've been skipped. Really, im probably scarred for life. However im doing much better without school, and im truly thankful for my parents patience.

View: https://youtu.be/VxlC3MzDqpc?t=59
 
Also school food is free, and i probably ate maybe 10 times throughout 3 years, the harsh part is that even as the weird kid i didnt fit in, i'd use the majority of my time sitting in the quiet library (a hidden section) id probably spend the majority of the day, i remember in the beginning year, i'd be probably the only one there for months at a time. i would've atleast appreciated the company from another incel. But hey i didn't even get that.

personality maxxing is true in the sense of swimming with like minded people, i'd probably be doing much better if i just chose programming or some shit.
 
2023cel and still gray :worryfeels: :feelswhere:
i was still coping with looksmax.org during the majority of my school time, maybe 4 years have went by, so fucking quickly.
 
Public school is pretty open as it is, I disagree that it is a prison sentence as I've read some compare online. The true prison sentence is the genetic prison of being a truecel that paints everything in gray. Even nerds can be chill in school, problems arise when you are a boneless untalented male.

I was bullied in elementary, but that is nothing compared to being mocked in high school at the same time that courses become significantly harder. At that moment I crumbled under the realization I was never lazy but smart and that I was a genuine retard. With things never panning out in the social side, academics was my only possible path to a non-shit life and I fumbled it spectacularly when I made it to college only to flunk out in the first semester.

I don't know what I was going with this, I guess that truecels don't wish for things to get better past a certain age. Maybe I'm just an abused dog and that's why that was the case for me.
 
Public school is pretty open as it is, I disagree that it is a prison sentence as I've read some compare online. The true prison sentence is the genetic prison of being a truecel that paints everything in gray. Even nerds can be chill in school, problems arise when you are a boneless untalented male.

I was bullied in elementary, but that is nothing compared to being mocked in high school at the same time that courses become significantly harder. At that moment I crumbled under the realization I was never lazy but smart and that I was a genuine retard. With things never panning out in the social side, academics was my only possible path to a non-shit life and I fumbled it spectacularly when I made it to college only to flunk out in the first semester.

I don't know what I was going with this, I guess that truecels don't wish for things to get better past a certain age. Maybe I'm just an abused dog and that's why that was the case for me.
its super much harder to get friends you don't even have classes with, i immidietaly befriended likeminded people as i said, but it started dwindling cuz of only 1 class per week.

i agree, incel and untalented is a death sentence, especially when you're unsure of what to do, even if you're untalented you still choose to study something you like, i tought of myself as higher than the nerd incels, when i was just more pathetic than them, i wasn't a nerd having fun, just simply an incel.

Fuck, academics is truly the only way for truecels to ascend, and it's insanely challenging if you don't play your cards right. Luckily im in a place which is very supportive, so i'll probably still be open for that route.

im an abuse dog, being jealous of abused dogs. Im the lowest of the lowest.
 
Public school is pretty open as it is, I disagree that it is a prison sentence as I've read some compare online. The true prison sentence is the genetic prison of being a truecel that paints everything in gray. Even nerds can be chill in school, problems arise when you are a boneless untalented male.

I was bullied in elementary, but that is nothing compared to being mocked in high school at the same time that courses become significantly harder. At that moment I crumbled under the realization I was never lazy but smart and that I was a genuine retard. With things never panning out in the social side, academics was my only possible path to a non-shit life and I fumbled it spectacularly when I made it to college only to flunk out in the first semester.

I don't know what I was going with this, I guess that truecels don't wish for things to get better past a certain age. Maybe I'm just an abused dog and that's why that was the case for me.
Reminds me when i had the chance to get rid of my F on math cuz of rotting, I accidently walked into the wrong class room, to a enthusiastic man speaking passionately about math, i was captivated. The next day i got put into the correct classroom, my fucking god, this actual npc, he spoke in monotone voice, and i ended up just flunking.
 
I can't really express what i mean, but if you clicked read

In 7th grade i got put into a class with 3 dudes, 2 of which were hoodlums, and 1 barely speaking swedish, then i changed class at 8th grade. I became a social butterfly, my adhd was activated constantly, and i was probably made fun of, but in general had many friends up to 9th grade

Here comes the problem.

For truecels, school and your performance is a roll of a dice, i got put into a hoodlum class whilst being a normal incel looking dude, under the summer i got to experience virtually losing all friends from 9th grade, and spending my entire summer indoors mustering up more and more anxiety, my school life became annoying as hell, to be frank i had 1 other "loser" friend, but he at the very least were passionate for gaming, and was making more than i did a year through stocks (this guy had 36k in stocks at 17 lol)

So i got a bit bullied here and there, and may i say they were very kind, cuz i was one weird fuck. Honestly if i didn't have anxiety, i'd probably be a skater boy, maybe getting one sorry blowie from some chick in exchange for 5 grams of weed, alas that did not happen. I had high hopes for becoming an academic, if i didnt succeed on the social aspect, surely i'd succeed through academics? nope. School is mostly based on your social performance, whilst the chads were gathering decent grades and cruising through social life, i was getting no chill, all came crashing down when i finally got home.

Cut to 8th grade, i change class, i didn't factor in something, i got put into a giga chad class, they left me alone, but the weird looks, and people just knowing im a weirdo, and the occational weird gaze from women was enough. Instead of getting occational interactions from people i really don't liked, i now was completely surrounded by people, but completely excempt from any human interaction, hours of painstaking quiet was achieved, and again i fucked up. I almost immidietaly made friends from the extra curricular activites (which mixes in many classes) but ofc it wasnt sustained cuz of 1 class per week.

I would've done wayyyy better if classes were mixed, more people from different cliques, i'd probably have many friends from like-minded people. It was brutal seeing incels have friend groups, whilst i was rotting being invisible.

I guess this is more of a diary post. But so much pain could've been skipped. Really, im probably scarred for life. However im doing much better without school, and im truly thankful for my parents patience.
Yeah some incels in my school had there friend groups already and weren’t interested in having anymore people join which sucked
 

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