After my life of rejection, humiliation, disappointments and endless unattainable desires all I can think of is the void/nothingness. To the majority of people the concept of non existance is something terrifying which is understandeable seeing as most animals including humans of course cannot comprehend non existance and they find existing to be a good, fun experience as opposed to just the empty void where there is absolutely nothing. Now, for a genetic dead end truecel, existance is not only meaningless but also suffering. The void on the other hand, just is. It isn't suffering but it isn't pleasure either, it isn't dark but it isn't light either. Which one do you think a truecel would prefer? Obviously the answer would be not existing at all. All in all I don't want to rope, I just wish I was never even born
