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Cuckold
| A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife; the wife of an adulterous husband is a cuckquean. In biology, a cuckold is a male who unwittingly invests parental effort in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring.[1] A husband who is aware of and tolerates his wife's infidelity is sometimes called a wittol or wittold.[2] |
History of the term
c. 1815 French satire on cuckoldry, which shows both men and women wearing horns
The word
cuckold derives from the
cuckoo bird, alluding to its habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests.
[3][4] The association is common in medieval
folklore, literature, and
iconography.
English usage first appears about 1250 in the
medieval debate poem The Owl and the Nightingale. It was characterized as an overtly blunt term in
John Lydgate's "Fall of Princes", c. 1440.
[5] Shakespeare's writing often referred to cuckolds, with several of his characters suspecting they had become one.
[4]
The word often implies that the husband is deceived; that he is unaware of his wife's unfaithfulness and may not know until the arrival or growth of a child plainly not his (as with cuckoo birds).
[4]
The female equivalent
cuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562,
[6][7] adding a female suffix to the
cuck.
A related word, first appearing in 1520, is
wittol, which substitutes
wit (in the sense of knowing) for the first part of the word, referring to a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's
infidelity.
[8]
The term 'cuckold' is now increasingly used by gay couples to refer to the gay man whose partner or husband has engaged in sexual activity with another man or woman. Chastity devices such as lockable penis cages may be applied by the partner to the cuckold who has proved unfaithful and these are often called 'cuckold devices'.
Cuck
Further information:
Cuckservative
An
abbreviation of
cuckold, the term
cuck has been used by the
alt-right to attack the
masculinity of an opponent. It was originally aimed at other
conservatives.
[9]
A flag used in the
English Civil War by
Horatio Cary referring to the
Earl of Essex's notorious marital problems
In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as "wearing the horns of a cuckold" or just "wearing the horns". This is an allusion to the
mating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.
[10]
In
Italy (especially in
Southern Italy, where it is a major personal offence), the insult "
cornuto" is often accompanied by the
sign of the horns. In
French, the term is "
porter des cornes". In German, the term is "
jemandem Hörner aufsetzen", or "
Hörner tragen", the husband is "
der gehörnte Ehemann".
In Brazil and Portugal, the term used is "
corno", meaning exactly "horned". The term is quite offensive, especially for men, and
cornos are a common subject of jokes and anecdotes.
Rabelais's
Tiers Livers of
Gargantua and Pantagruel (1546) portrays a horned fool as a cuckold.
[11] In
Molière's
L'École des femmes (1662), a man named Arnolphe (see below) who mocks cuckolds with the image of the horned buck (
becque cornu) becomes one at the end.
In
Chinese usage, the cuckold (or wittol) is said to be "
戴綠帽子"
dài lǜmàozi, translated into English as 'wearing the green hat'. The term is an allusion to the
sumptuary laws used from the 13th to the 18th centuries that required males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).
[12]
Associations
A saint Arnoul(t), Arnolphe, or Ernoul, possibly
Arnold of Soissons, is often cited as the
patron saint of cuckolded husbands, hence the name of Molière's character Arnolphe.
[13][14]
The Greek hero
Actaeon is often associated with cuckoldry, as when he is turned into a stag, he becomes "horned".
[15] This is alluded to in Shakespeare's
Merry Wives,
Robert Burton's
Anatomy of Melancholy, and others.
[16]
Cross-cultural parallels
In Islamic cultures, the related term
dayouth (
Arabic: دَيُّوث) can be used to describe person who is viewed as apathetic or permissive with regards to
unchaste behaviour by female relatives or a spouse, or who lacks the demeanor (
ghayrah) of paternalistic protectiveness.
[17][18] Variations on the spelling include
dayyuth,
dayuuth, or
dayoos.[19] The term has been criticised for its use as a
pejorative while also suggestive of acceptance of vain
paternalistic gender roles, stigmatization of
sexuality or overprotective
intrusive sexual gatekeeping.
[20]
Cuckoldry as a fetish
Unlike the traditional definition of the term, in
fetish usage a cuckold (also known as "cuckolding fetish")
[21][22] is complicit in their partner's sexual "infidelity"; the wife who enjoys "cuckolding" her husband is called a "cuckoldress" if the man is more submissive.
[23][
page needed]
[24][25][26] The dominant man engaging with the cuckold's partner is called a "bull".
[24][27]
If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. This like other sexual acts can improve the seuxal relationship between partners.
[28] However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the "cuckold": the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other "cuckolds" may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.
[29]
Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of
masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.
[30][31] In his book
Masochism and the Self, psychologist
Roy Baumeister advanced a
Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of "guilt, anxiety, or insecurity", or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.
[32]
