T
And not like a simple facemask, like a full on balaclava. Something to cover up my face from the world.
idk this is probably just going to come off as a schizo thread but whatever, I'm going to speak my mind.
Even before the pandemic hit I used to wear a balaclava outside all the time covering up my ugly face, and I'd wear a heavy black jacket and baggy pants, covering up my skinny frail marfan syndrome looking body, I was even allowed to wear it in highschool after some discussion with the faculty.
I rarely go outside to begin with, but the times I do, doing that it made me more confident in talking to people in general. I guess maybe it's because I felt more anonymous or people weren't put off by my looks? In highschool I felt like I could actually talk to people and communicate while wearing it, it was like I was a different person. There was of course some initial awkwardness from the clothing and mask but I think my charisma that I have while wearing it at least let the friends that I did make warm up to it.
I have gotten matches on dating apps before, I guess because my profile picture always had me in the balaclava and it was probably mostly foids looking for "plugs" and they just assumed I was one based on how I was dressed, or they just swiped right to mock me, since I've had that happen too... But having some of them actually have a dialogue with you and seem like they're having a good time and seem interested in you, only for them to say "show me what you look like" and when you eventually do, they stop talking to you, unfriend you, or block you... It just hurts.
I used to talk to a foid when I was in highschool, she clearly seemed interested in me there was flirting back and forth but then she tells me to show her my face and I oblige she's all like "Aw you don't look that bad!" but then what do you know, all those flirtatious gestures stop happening, and if I tried to do them to her she'd act all uncomfortable, when she never did that before I showed her my face. All of that previous "interest" gone, like it never happened for her.
The only downside to the mask is that people at first always think that I'm like a criminal or terrorist or something, and of course in highschool I knew everyone called me "The school shooter kid". Which I mean fair enough, obviously it's understandable to have that sort of reaction to someone wearing stuff like that. But I guess the point is I just wish that I could be like invisible or something. Something where I can talk to people irl, not subject them to my face or body, but not illicit that "Criminal/terrorist" response. I wish I could just wear the mask all the time and just have that be me, be my real face, have it be considered "normal".
Like I feel like it's a lose/lose situation.
1. I don't take off the mask: "I'm a criminal/terrorist/active shooter"
2. I take off the mask: "I'm a creepy ugly weirdo"
Like why can't they just compromise for me wearing a mask all the time? I tell them every time "I wear the mask to hide my ugly face so you don't dislike me and I think it would be better if I just wore it all the time" and they still persist on wanting to see my face and once they see it they either stop talking to me, insult me, or "friendzone me" ( which always just means make small talk for a few days after before eventually ghosting me/blocking me), what do they expect to see some super ultra giga chad? I warned them! I'm 99% sure any of the chances I've ever had with foids would've gone somewhere if they never told me to take off my mask or to show them my face...
It just sucks man.
idk this is probably just going to come off as a schizo thread but whatever, I'm going to speak my mind.
Even before the pandemic hit I used to wear a balaclava outside all the time covering up my ugly face, and I'd wear a heavy black jacket and baggy pants, covering up my skinny frail marfan syndrome looking body, I was even allowed to wear it in highschool after some discussion with the faculty.
I rarely go outside to begin with, but the times I do, doing that it made me more confident in talking to people in general. I guess maybe it's because I felt more anonymous or people weren't put off by my looks? In highschool I felt like I could actually talk to people and communicate while wearing it, it was like I was a different person. There was of course some initial awkwardness from the clothing and mask but I think my charisma that I have while wearing it at least let the friends that I did make warm up to it.
I have gotten matches on dating apps before, I guess because my profile picture always had me in the balaclava and it was probably mostly foids looking for "plugs" and they just assumed I was one based on how I was dressed, or they just swiped right to mock me, since I've had that happen too... But having some of them actually have a dialogue with you and seem like they're having a good time and seem interested in you, only for them to say "show me what you look like" and when you eventually do, they stop talking to you, unfriend you, or block you... It just hurts.
I used to talk to a foid when I was in highschool, she clearly seemed interested in me there was flirting back and forth but then she tells me to show her my face and I oblige she's all like "Aw you don't look that bad!" but then what do you know, all those flirtatious gestures stop happening, and if I tried to do them to her she'd act all uncomfortable, when she never did that before I showed her my face. All of that previous "interest" gone, like it never happened for her.
The only downside to the mask is that people at first always think that I'm like a criminal or terrorist or something, and of course in highschool I knew everyone called me "The school shooter kid". Which I mean fair enough, obviously it's understandable to have that sort of reaction to someone wearing stuff like that. But I guess the point is I just wish that I could be like invisible or something. Something where I can talk to people irl, not subject them to my face or body, but not illicit that "Criminal/terrorist" response. I wish I could just wear the mask all the time and just have that be me, be my real face, have it be considered "normal".
Like I feel like it's a lose/lose situation.
1. I don't take off the mask: "I'm a criminal/terrorist/active shooter"
2. I take off the mask: "I'm a creepy ugly weirdo"
Like why can't they just compromise for me wearing a mask all the time? I tell them every time "I wear the mask to hide my ugly face so you don't dislike me and I think it would be better if I just wore it all the time" and they still persist on wanting to see my face and once they see it they either stop talking to me, insult me, or "friendzone me" ( which always just means make small talk for a few days after before eventually ghosting me/blocking me), what do they expect to see some super ultra giga chad? I warned them! I'm 99% sure any of the chances I've ever had with foids would've gone somewhere if they never told me to take off my mask or to show them my face...
It just sucks man.
