I went as a vampire. Or that's what people told me I was. I tried to borrow from both suggestions I got in this thread of mine on Looksmax. A pimp suit was one suggestion, and a colorful anime wig was the other. So I combined them, and apparently that adds up to "vampire." I did a mini NoFap leading up, in the hopes that it would intensify my sex drive and I would enjoy the party more. Started on the 15th. And I really did believe on Halloween Night I would spend my hard earned savings.
TL;DR: I failed to hook up with anyone. At what I figured amounted to a sex party. Where there would be free exchange of approaches.
Longer story? First thing I noticed when I rocked up to the joint was "It smells weird in here." And the sights I saw. Shame on me for not truly understanding what a "fetish party" is. I knew ostensibly what a fetish party is, it's whips and chains and doms and subs and pleasure and pain. But I didn't truly understand. This wasn't a "sex party" like I had imagined. People didn't really come here to hook up. They came here to have painful things done to them, and then leave. Usually married couples are who's showing up. To booths and cubicles hidden from view. It's not a "Let's get together and do stuff" environment, it's a "Go in alone or with your spouse to have this procedure done to you" environment. Your chances of hooking up there are no greater than if you played for it at a bar or something. The whips and chains aren't actually conducive to anyone there being more open to hooking up. They came there with a plan and didn't intend to deviate from it with any hookups or anything. In my defense, the way they advertised this is what I blame for my being mislead. They advertised this with beautiful women that I was encouraged to come and see. But when I got there? So much male ass everywhere I turned. And dick. And men mid-transition into becoming women. I saw a man with breasts. Breasts! You might be thinking "Might've just been a fat guy" but no, there's a difference. These were breasts. On a man's frame. But the scariest of all the costumes? I saw no fewer than three Bowsettes. I don't wanna see any Internet shit in real life. Keep that on the Internet. I don't need to know that anyone I see in real life has ever been on the Internet. Frankly I wanted to leave within the first hour. But I paid $100+ for the ticket and there were no refunds. So I couldn't bring myself to waste the night.
What really sticks with me though? There were beautiful women there. And they were way naked. But I couldn't manage any kind of arousal. I was just totally uninvested. That's what scares me the most. That I'm unable to "want." That I don't feel the drive anymore. I saved my germ and everything. And I was surrounded, a lot of the time, by nice looking women what didn't have any clothes on. Back in high school I once saw a girl lean forward and she had these pendulous swingers, see? And I was like "Whoa, get a look at that." But that way of thinking is entirely gone from me now. Or at least it was that night. And I hate it, I want to feel and love again. Even if I can't have sex, I should at least have the drive. If I had the drive, I could enjoy my own company. But now? I see no reason to break my streak. People give NoFap shit because it offers no benefits, but for me, not only does it offer no benefits, but it comes at no cost. If this is how I feel about beautiful women, there's no need for me to masturbate. I could just... not masturbate. And before you say "Sure, stop masturbating, think of how it can improve your life," no it won't. It might for people who are trying to break a habit of being focused on sex, but I have no drive. All it does it maybe save me the couple minutes per night of negotiating with my dick. I don't even gain anything by making the sacrifice of "NoFap." Nor do I enjoy any comfort from trying to masturbate anyway. It's all empty gestures any way I go.
In summary, I am all Halloweened out, and I am tired. All night on Halloween I was telling myself "The cold weather season is for getting cozy and sleeping. And eating as much of your harvest as you can. This place is uncomfortable in temperature and smell and the only thing anyone's said to you all night is 'You look angry, are you angry?' You should cut your losses." Bring on the rest of the year. Bring on turkey comas and hot chocolate and yule logs. People call this "Lying down and rotting" but I think people give it a bad rap. I tried the other way and I didn't enjoy it. What you call "LDAR" I call "Well earned relaxation."
TL;DR: I failed to hook up with anyone. At what I figured amounted to a sex party. Where there would be free exchange of approaches.
Longer story? First thing I noticed when I rocked up to the joint was "It smells weird in here." And the sights I saw. Shame on me for not truly understanding what a "fetish party" is. I knew ostensibly what a fetish party is, it's whips and chains and doms and subs and pleasure and pain. But I didn't truly understand. This wasn't a "sex party" like I had imagined. People didn't really come here to hook up. They came here to have painful things done to them, and then leave. Usually married couples are who's showing up. To booths and cubicles hidden from view. It's not a "Let's get together and do stuff" environment, it's a "Go in alone or with your spouse to have this procedure done to you" environment. Your chances of hooking up there are no greater than if you played for it at a bar or something. The whips and chains aren't actually conducive to anyone there being more open to hooking up. They came there with a plan and didn't intend to deviate from it with any hookups or anything. In my defense, the way they advertised this is what I blame for my being mislead. They advertised this with beautiful women that I was encouraged to come and see. But when I got there? So much male ass everywhere I turned. And dick. And men mid-transition into becoming women. I saw a man with breasts. Breasts! You might be thinking "Might've just been a fat guy" but no, there's a difference. These were breasts. On a man's frame. But the scariest of all the costumes? I saw no fewer than three Bowsettes. I don't wanna see any Internet shit in real life. Keep that on the Internet. I don't need to know that anyone I see in real life has ever been on the Internet. Frankly I wanted to leave within the first hour. But I paid $100+ for the ticket and there were no refunds. So I couldn't bring myself to waste the night.
What really sticks with me though? There were beautiful women there. And they were way naked. But I couldn't manage any kind of arousal. I was just totally uninvested. That's what scares me the most. That I'm unable to "want." That I don't feel the drive anymore. I saved my germ and everything. And I was surrounded, a lot of the time, by nice looking women what didn't have any clothes on. Back in high school I once saw a girl lean forward and she had these pendulous swingers, see? And I was like "Whoa, get a look at that." But that way of thinking is entirely gone from me now. Or at least it was that night. And I hate it, I want to feel and love again. Even if I can't have sex, I should at least have the drive. If I had the drive, I could enjoy my own company. But now? I see no reason to break my streak. People give NoFap shit because it offers no benefits, but for me, not only does it offer no benefits, but it comes at no cost. If this is how I feel about beautiful women, there's no need for me to masturbate. I could just... not masturbate. And before you say "Sure, stop masturbating, think of how it can improve your life," no it won't. It might for people who are trying to break a habit of being focused on sex, but I have no drive. All it does it maybe save me the couple minutes per night of negotiating with my dick. I don't even gain anything by making the sacrifice of "NoFap." Nor do I enjoy any comfort from trying to masturbate anyway. It's all empty gestures any way I go.
In summary, I am all Halloweened out, and I am tired. All night on Halloween I was telling myself "The cold weather season is for getting cozy and sleeping. And eating as much of your harvest as you can. This place is uncomfortable in temperature and smell and the only thing anyone's said to you all night is 'You look angry, are you angry?' You should cut your losses." Bring on the rest of the year. Bring on turkey comas and hot chocolate and yule logs. People call this "Lying down and rotting" but I think people give it a bad rap. I tried the other way and I didn't enjoy it. What you call "LDAR" I call "Well earned relaxation."
