in my daily life I'm completely apathetic, nothing feels meaningful or real, everything is mundane and grey. I credit this largely to rotting for 7+ hours a day on yt, other image boards and, of course, here. I believe that a more emotional life is possible for me though, because when I'm drunk i do feel real emotion, its not at all performative, or hollow like it is when I'm sober, it fully subsumes my consciousness, if that makes sense, it feels more then physical, like what i desire to feel when I'm sober but i cant attain. I know that i cant permanently be in the same hyper-sensitive state that i am when I'm drunk by just quitting rotting obviously, but i think i can get closer to it or at least feel something, anything, because I'm so apathetic right now its fucking unreal.
All this to say id appreciated if one of you could share your method for controlling and reducing the amount of time you spend rotting, because my previous attempts to get rid of this addiction of mine have all fallen flat, its almost like I'm in a feedback loop that i cant escape because I've destroyed my sensitivity and so any time i spend not rotting is so fucking boring, and that's the easy part too, the real challenge is stopping rotting once I've started because its so easy to quite that voice in my head telling me that "I'm turning my self into a literal retard doing this to myself" by just clicking on a new thread or another video.
I'm sorry if my threads seem very repetitive, i spent most of my day neurotically thinking about the same shit over and over and over again with out finding resolution or never finding the will power to act. Cheers lads
TLDR: give me tips to reduce screen time (tho if you need a tldr i doubt your going to be any help to me)
All this to say id appreciated if one of you could share your method for controlling and reducing the amount of time you spend rotting, because my previous attempts to get rid of this addiction of mine have all fallen flat, its almost like I'm in a feedback loop that i cant escape because I've destroyed my sensitivity and so any time i spend not rotting is so fucking boring, and that's the easy part too, the real challenge is stopping rotting once I've started because its so easy to quite that voice in my head telling me that "I'm turning my self into a literal retard doing this to myself" by just clicking on a new thread or another video.
I'm sorry if my threads seem very repetitive, i spent most of my day neurotically thinking about the same shit over and over and over again with out finding resolution or never finding the will power to act. Cheers lads
TLDR: give me tips to reduce screen time (tho if you need a tldr i doubt your going to be any help to me)
