Serious I want to kill myself over this brutal realisation

[Truecelcel]

I was watching porn earlier tonight, and I didn't really feel it, so I just wanted to get it over with, now that I've worked myself up anyway. Then my though drifted to some old videos, some of the first I watched at 13 (22 now), and in my mind I thought of them as "happy places" or safe havens, whatever you want to call them. I instantly lost any will I had to live when I caught up on that thought. This is the moment it's more over than over.

I've always wanted to get married as a kid, I had my first "oneitis" from 6 through 10 (jfl), and wanted a girlfriend by the time I turned 12. I failed miserably, mainly due to being plain ugly, not unattractive, just ugly. When I started watching porn, I could at least ignore it. But this realisation really drove home to me how little of a life I have, socially. I have no friends anymore, I'm lying in bed all day due to an operation (can hardly walk so far), and I'm a KHHV at 22.

This stuff led my thoughts to spiral all over the place, to girls calling me ugly, a woman telling me she was imagining me losing my virginity to an escort, because I couldn't otherwise, and laughing in my face, and many other places, where I've been laughed at, hated, and humiliated, without saying or doing anything.

My entire life has just been a cope, it was never even really there. There's nothing at the end of the tunnel for me, but I'm still too afraid of Hell to rope. I'm just done.

 

[InceldianWarrior]

It is what it is

 

[Truecelcel]

It is what it is

how do you cope with inceldom

 

[InceldianWarrior]

how do you cope with inceldom

I don't. You can't really cope with it, you can just distract yourself from your shitty life when you're in a decent mood and your brain forgets about it.
My only cope is that I still have hope for the future, and you're only slightly older than me so you should too.

I also have no friends and always had a romantic view on relationships so I relate.

If others keep treating you like shit you really need to just stop caring about others. Who cares if a woman calls you ugly ? Just call her a fat ugly bitch back and laugh in her face.

Looksmaxx, thugmaxx and geomaxx.

And about your operation, it will pass soon right ? If so it's not a big deal.

 

[Emba]

It is what it is

Çest çest...

I too have "familiar old porn gfs" (physical magazines) that bring back the "good old days." Lol...

Not from my childhood, but from pre internet days.

It's fucking pathetic... But them pussies be really nice....

 

[Julaybib]

stop frying your brain

 

[Friezacel]

stop frying your brain

Porn addiction is nearly impossible to quit

 

[Julaybib]

Porn addiction is nearly impossible to quit

all becaue of them

 

[Friezacel]

all becaue of them

Yeah

btw where is your avi from ?

 

[Julaybib]

Yeah

btw where is your avi from ?

an arabic show called ''al hajjaj''

 

[Friezacel]

an arabic show called ''al hajjaj''

whats the name of the guy ? Looks masculine and dark triad af

 

[Julaybib]

whats the name of the guy ? Looks masculine and dark triad af

hes al hajjaj ibn yusuf , he was a real person and the show is based on him.

he was very darktriad + masculine and noble

 

[Friezacel]

hes al hajjaj ibn yusuf , he was a real person and the show is based on him.

he was very darktriad + masculine and noble

I wanna do Jihad and beat up foids with him together

 

[Julaybib]

I wanna do Jihad and beat up foids with him together

May Allah guide you

 

[Friezacel]

May Allah guide you

Im not a believer but thanks i guess

 

[Truecelcel]

Porn addiction is nearly impossible to quit

I quit for 2 years and started again last autumn. I'm quitting again, because this is too brutal, even for me.

 

[Friezacel]

I quit for 2 years and started again last autumn. I'm quitting again, because this is too brutal, even for me.

mogs me, i get withdrawal within a few days

 

[Truecelcel]

mogs me, i get withdrawal within a few days

Yeah, but those are the hardest. Then it's easy, after a month you FEEL like you're on the edge of cumming most of the day for a week or so if you're circumcised (you're not), then it completely disappears.

 

[Friezacel]

Yeah, but those are the hardest. Then it's easy, after a month you FEEL like you're on the edge of cumming most of the day for a week or so if you're circumcised (you're not), then it completely disappears.

NoPorn/NoFap never worked for me

 

[Truecelcel]

NoPorn/NoFap never worked for me

It did for me, I felt way better and my head felt way clearer. Not some mumbo jumbo about "holding frame" but I felt more emotionally balanced, thinking clearer and making decisions easier. I gotta get back to that

 

[Linky Love]

how do you cope with inceldom

You remind yourself that death will come for you one day as it does for us all so no need to speed up the process and with any luck perhaps Christianity and all religion is false and when we die perhaps it really is ovER along with our pain? We can only hope.

Other than that simply try and be kind to yourself and as Uncle Junior from the Sopranos has said “you find your pleasures where you can” so if that’s porn and or videogames to you then well that’s porn and videogames to you. As another poster already said to you it is what it is.

Try not to be ashamed about things even though it is hard.

You didn’t choose your genetics after all.

It’s not your fault that you’re not attractive to women.

The cunt that laughed at you could and would only do so because she won at the genetic lottery but even still most Stacy’s are not overtly cruel like this bitch unless they’ve been through some shit like a rotten home life or can’t get the specific Chad that they want and so take out their hatred or frustrations with men on you ie someone who is unlikely to fight back.

(The ones that are simply cruel by nature tend to end up like Tammy “Sunny” Sytch of pro wrestling infamy when all is said and done so they often do get their karma as it were).

I knew a bitch just like this back in junior high.

She was a good looking blonde with huge tits for her age who dressed like the skater chicks of my Gen X era typically did.

What’s particularly sad about my situation with her is how quickly things turned to shit between us as on or around the first day of school she and I somehow got to talking and had an intelligent and friendly conversation and she just seemed like an all around cool chick right?

Wrong.

It’s very rare if impossible for people like us to have nice things even a literal girl “friend” emphasis of course on the friend part.

The very next day after and everyday after that she acted like a scornful, disrespectful bitch to me, never without a smirk followed by some crude or cruel remark and I could never figure out why?

I did find out later due to overhearing her talking to others that her home life was complete shit and that her father may have yelled at her or even beat her at times when he thought she was misbehaving or simply annoyed with her.

I also theorized that she could tell that I found her attractive and was or simply became overly offended that the le unworthy inkwell would even dare having such a thought about this entitled thot.

 

[Dneum912]

It’s Brootal man. I hope you manage to get the courage to rope. It’s not worth living this life