Why are we raised with blue-pill ideology?
Call it red-pill or black-pill it doesn't matter. Red-pill will cope that I am not living in the moment but how can I accept all these years of being lied to?
Back in elementary school I had 2-3 relationships that lasted 2-3 weeks (I was 9-10) and I was agressive/Low inhib/Fought a lot despite being the smallest in class. Despite being lied to things seemed to be working so I thought it was the right thing to do. I did what I wanted to do and felt good doing what my instinct told me and I rose in social value.
Went into high-school (i use american terms idk. live in europe tho) when I was around 13-14 and the whole class worked together to bully me and I became a loner with no friends while everybody was still against me. There was some project you had to do together and the teacher took me out of class and asked me "Do you have friends? If there is something you can always tell me" and I said that everything was fine and nothing to be worried about.
This went on 3 years and now my mentality/personality is fucked up. The guy who bullied everyone and who always was socially dominant has climbed the social rankings and is liked by everyone. I had the big potential of becoming socially high-status and good-looking and I was just doing that when nobody was bullying me. I always had high prenatal T (FWHR of 1.87 and low trust face) but this bullying COMPLETELY FUCKED UP MY PUBERTY. Imagine not doing sports because you are afraid of people hating on you so my T levels declined. I fell into 2-3 years depression and never could be myself except at home with my parents. When I am outside now I am not myself and I cannot be myself. Personality matters if you're normal looking. 80% here is probably normal-looking but is just mentally fucked. Bullying/depression/low T levels. FUck this life tbh
Now 17 and going to the gym. Much potential so I will do everything to get out of this shithole.
Call it red-pill or black-pill it doesn't matter. Red-pill will cope that I am not living in the moment but how can I accept all these years of being lied to?
Back in elementary school I had 2-3 relationships that lasted 2-3 weeks (I was 9-10) and I was agressive/Low inhib/Fought a lot despite being the smallest in class. Despite being lied to things seemed to be working so I thought it was the right thing to do. I did what I wanted to do and felt good doing what my instinct told me and I rose in social value.
Went into high-school (i use american terms idk. live in europe tho) when I was around 13-14 and the whole class worked together to bully me and I became a loner with no friends while everybody was still against me. There was some project you had to do together and the teacher took me out of class and asked me "Do you have friends? If there is something you can always tell me" and I said that everything was fine and nothing to be worried about.
This went on 3 years and now my mentality/personality is fucked up. The guy who bullied everyone and who always was socially dominant has climbed the social rankings and is liked by everyone. I had the big potential of becoming socially high-status and good-looking and I was just doing that when nobody was bullying me. I always had high prenatal T (FWHR of 1.87 and low trust face) but this bullying COMPLETELY FUCKED UP MY PUBERTY. Imagine not doing sports because you are afraid of people hating on you so my T levels declined. I fell into 2-3 years depression and never could be myself except at home with my parents. When I am outside now I am not myself and I cannot be myself. Personality matters if you're normal looking. 80% here is probably normal-looking but is just mentally fucked. Bullying/depression/low T levels. FUck this life tbh
Now 17 and going to the gym. Much potential so I will do everything to get out of this shithole.
