LifeFuel I used to cry fairly often

[Emba]

A few years back (late 40's) I cried every once in a while saying to myself, "No one gives a shit about me." While thinking about that... It was like a loop.

It wasn't about being rejected by women. It was about being rejected by everyone.

I thought it was my fault for not "reaching out" more. And for being so isolated. I never went to visit people. Never hung out at social hotspots.... For being a jerk.

Slowly I remembered that I DID TRY. I did seek friends! I reached out and kept getting my hand bit.

Over and over.

I visited them. They never visited me. I went out of my way to see them. Yet they would drive past my house, never stopping.

I hung out with the other old dudes. And was ignored! Talked around. And treated like a ghost.

That's when I realized I was a jerk in the past to prevent rejection. Because every time I tried I failed to make friends. It was a preventive survival tactic. I knew they were brainwashed normie scum!

It took a while but I stopped crying. I had tried, and failed. I did my best.

I stopped crying because I know they simply cannot give a shit! They are too busy being (brainwashed! Too locked into their meme boxes!

It's not even that I'm that ugly. I'm just not good looking. I have nothing they want or need. They see me as a empty ATM. A dented can on the self that may be contaminated!

I'm finally done with the five stages of grief boyos.

It's my fault for not being born better looking. As if I had the choice!

But thanks to the blackpill. I now know why it never began. The beginning was the end. I'm just glad I never played the shitty game of life and cucked out!

I could have been a trapped slave! Hating every moment of my slavery. Being whipped everyday by a hambeast!

Instead, yeah I'm alone. Very alone. But I'm free to think! I am still sad about it. But I know that I'm not alone in being alone. I did my best.

Even if the internet died tomorrow I would know of other Incels out there irl coping too.

Does crying over my fate make me a sissy? No. It makes me an honest human.

(Fuck you if you think it's funny.)

 

[Dionysus]

im glad the blackpill helped you out friend

 

[Deleted member 8884]

 

[Guest2]

Didn't know you were an oldcel

 

[Deleted member 19457]

So you're 50's now?

Damn that is old.

You oldcels legit make me scared tbh.

 

[Reize]

Come on....

 

[Emba]

im glad the blackpill helped you out friend

Thanks br0.

Didn't know you were an oldcel

So you're 50's now?

Damn that is old.

You oldcels legit make me scared tbh.

Yup. 50 something. B@1963 for some reason I can't remember the exact number even though I do the math often. I guess I'm refusing to accept my age... Or my mercury teeth fucked up my memory.

Tbh I always thought I would have died in my 30's.
+++
Its lifefuel because eventually you'll stop crying.

 

[Reddit_is_for_cucks]

This is our future

 

[KingOfRome]

My dad roped at your age. I probably will too.

It's over for many men regardless of age.

 

[Indari]

it OVER !!!

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

This is our future

 

[ThouShallObeyKing]

holy shit dont worry OP my life was probably shittier than your

 

[Deleted member 17883]

Hah

sissy bitch boy. Man the fuck up. Real men never cry. No wonder you're single. BROOO

 

[Evildоer]

This is our future

Looks like a nightmare, and no different to my current life

 

[Deleted member 6470]

Your mercury teeth?
In general when you're old (and male) they see you as an indesirable.
If you're young right now, try to picture yourself a decade later.

 

[78980n]

Posting style fits with your avi

 

[IamLost]

It's the same for me. Everbody rejected me, including my own family.

Where are you from OP?

 

[ruvelyy]

fml that’s my future. i always thought i’d rope by my 30s, but i still cope the rope. i think i’ll get killed by death at my 80s still coping hard i don’t even have the courage to rope, at least idc anymore i just LDAR.

 

[StaroRavager]

I used to cry all the time when I was younger as well, but after I researched the biological purpose of crying I never cried again. I’ve felt like doing so many times since then but the realization that no one gives a shit has caused me to sober up

 

[Deleted member 18214]

I used to cry all the time when I was younger as well, but after I researched the biological purpose of crying I never cried again. I’ve felt like doing so many times since then but the realization that no one gives a shit has caused me to sober up

 

[HighTGymcel]

cope or rope boyo

 

[Emba]

Posting style fits with your avi

It's good to have a fan... I think.
My avi fits me perfectly tbh.

Your mercury teeth?
In general when you're old (and male) they see you as an indesirable.
If you're young right now, try to picture yourself a decade later.

Yeah. I had a shitload of mercury teeth fillings - also known as silver amalgrams. (Sp?) A blend of silver and mercury - a known neurotoxin.

It's the same for me. Everbody rejected me, including my own family.

Where are you from OP?

I've been everywhere man.
Near East Oklahoma.

I used to cry all the time when I was younger as well, but after I researched the biological purpose of crying I never cried again. I’ve felt like doing so many times since then but the realization that no one gives a shit has caused me to sober up

I knew the biological reason. But it was logic that cured me. It just seemed like a big waste of energy that I couldn't afford to waste...

 

[IamLost]

I used to cry all the time when I was younger as well, but after I researched the biological purpose of crying I never cried again. I’ve felt like doing so many times since then but the realization that no one gives a shit has caused me to sober up

What is the biological purpose of crying?

 

[ChinaCurry]

As an oldcel you must be very cultured now and have many great copes. Care to share any so I can start thinking about my own future?

 

[Emba]

As an oldcel you must be very cultured now and have many great copes. Care to share any so I can start thinking about my own future?

My main cope is doing internet research on survival topics. For a while I tried to write a book about it but it looked to shitty and jumpy so I quit.

Lately I'm into studying permaculture and medical plants. As well as trying to grow stuff in my shitty clay soil.

I started the permaculture herbalism as a way increase my social value in the event of a economic collapse. I'm a poorcel so cheap stuff is all I can afford and plants are cheap.

But. Permaculture design is very hard! I'm almost too fucking stupid to understand all the myriad of interconnected stuff. Plus it takes a lot of time to test and grow stuff!

As far as a long-term cope it's great! Because growing stuff requires time. It's slow. Very slow. And sometimes plants fail. Then you have to find alternative solutions to whatever your trying to accomplish.

Since I'm mostly crippled I can barely maintain the stuff. So permaculture is the way to go. It maintains itself. Sometimes.

It's not quite good enough to live off of. But It's better than nothing... it could be better.

 

[KaizenYagi]

Hey Emba, love your avatar too man. Always enjoy seeing it around here. This place is a good cope. I just hate it when people rope or talk about it or worse encourage it. Honestly blue pills, red pills, and black pills generally want the same thing unless they are degenerates. Just a nice wife, and your own family. But as an oldcell myself I can say all I have seen is the carnage of blue pills getting cucked or betabuxxed, and divorce raped. Loneliness is the worst feeling ever, but we have a leg up in a way. We can come here to cope. We have a robust explanatory framework for what went wrong because we were forced to face it in a harsher way. But, we know, and that gives us some solace, and control. Imagine being some cuck in a marriage surrounded by fake peope who don't care, i.e. your kids, and whore wife, and not having anyone that gets it. You don't even get it yourself, but you are the beast of burden, the slave to some chad's pleasure with your wife who doesn't even love you. Being INCEL as long as you don't hurt others is truly the lesser of two evils. Would I rather have my dream, yeah, but only if the wifey loved me, and lusted for me alone, and we were best friends, and partners for life. But, in the end how many people, including "Happily married" people actually have this? I'm guessing far fewer than us, and definately a drop in the bucket compared to dudes getting cucked by the women who chose whoredome. The pain will always be there, but it receeds with time.

 

[Deleted member 4760]

So you're 50's now?

Damn that is old.

You oldcels legit make me scared tbh.

tbh

 

[Emba]

Hey Emba, love your avatar too man. Always enjoy seeing it around here. This place is a good cope. I just hate it when people rope or talk about it or worse encourage it. Honestly blue pills, red pills, and black pills generally want the same thing unless they are degenerates. Just a nice wife, and your own family. But as an oldcell myself I can say all I have seen is the carnage of blue pills getting cucked or betabuxxed, and divorce raped. Loneliness is the worst feeling ever, but we have a leg up in a way. We can come here to cope. We have a robust explanatory framework for what went wrong because we were forced to face it in a harsher way. But, we know, and that gives us some solace, and control. Imagine being some cuck in a marriage surrounded by fake peope who don't care, i.e. your kids, and whore wife, and not having anyone that gets it. You don't even get it yourself, but you are the beast of burden, the slave to some chad's pleasure with your wife who doesn't even love you. Being INCEL as long as you don't hurt others is truly the lesser of two evils. Would I rather have my dream, yeah, but only if the wifey loved me, and lusted for me alone, and we were best friends, and partners for life. But, in the end how many people, including "Happily married" people actually have this? I'm guessing far fewer than us, and definately a drop in the bucket compared to dudes getting cucked by the women who chose whoredome. The pain will always be there, but it receeds with time.

You are so right brother!
Even though our lives suck, at least we're smart enough to understand why.

I feel bad for the suicidecels! They are having a hard time finding their personal value. Tbh, it's a hard task for sure! I consider it a spiritual thing.

The pain fades with time. But it does leave a scar.

tbh

Tbh. Tbh.
It creeps me out too!

 

[Deleted member 4760]

Did you ever seek escort in your youth/life?

How disabled are you?

How has society changed since when you were younger?

I mean, you know what life was before Internet, Sexual revolution and extreme feminism;
Was it better back then? Are the best years of western society behind it?

I think you and @FrustratedWhiteMale are the only one over 50 y old here.

 

[Emba]

Did you ever seek escort in your youth/life?

How disabled are you?

How has society changed since when you were younger?

I mean, you know what life was before Internet, Sexual revolution and extreme feminism?
Was it better back then? Are the best year sof western society behind it?

I think you and @FrustratedWhiteMale are the only one over 50 y old here.

Yes. I fucked some who'res!
A skinny black one in my late teens. She looked like Grace Jones!
And a fat ugly white one on my birthday in 2000!

For a while I had partial paralysis when my back was aligned a certain way. I cured that with dmso semi-recently - Instead of taking taking the 40% chance of being a quadriplegic from a botched neck surgery. I know a dude that had success but he also had a place to recover. I didn't. The calcium moved away from my spine into my shoulders and make lifting stuff painful.

I could get pain drugs if I begged every time I need a refill. So I live with it.

In the '80's I went to college. It was the same as now where the abusive dudes had the women while the nice guys stayed lonely. The only thing that really changed was the speed of rejection these days. Back then it took longer to get rejected. It hit harder than today, because you felt like you had a chance!

Then the whole AIDS scare happened and only Chad's got the pussy. Or the betabuckeroos! If you didn't have a money making future you got nothing.

Women where much less whorish back then and actually thought about the future. They were also less obvious. Meaning the rejection was super slow. They drained you of meals and clubs while professing chastity! "I need more time. tee hee."

 

[DoomerSooner]

I can't even cry if I tried these days. Sometimes I want to but nothing comes out.
Just completely devoid of emotions.

 

[Emba]

I can't even cry if I tried these days. Sometimes I want to but nothing comes out.
Just completely devoid of emotions.

I was very stoic for decades.
It was only after realizing how I needed people that I cried.

This is why there's a war against families and tribal groups! (((They))) cut us apart from each other like hyenas hunt! Isolate and attack the lone critter!

 

[StaroRavager]

What is the biological purpose of crying?

It’s a mechanism used to invoke pity, mainly in one’s parents and also used to garner attention. It’s necessary for babies and due to its earlier effectiveness the child will carry the attic into their later year in order to once again invoke pity from others be they their parents (this time at a much older age), peers, or simply anyone who will listen. Even if there is no one around a person will continue to do so simply because it has been a repeated action in the past and is a simply and easy way to react to unpleasant stimuli

 

[Emba]

It’s a mechanism used to invoke pity, mainly in one’s parents and also used to garner attention. It’s necessary for babies and due to its earlier effectiveness the child will carry the attic into their later year in order to once again invoke pity from others be they their parents (this time at a much older age), peers, or simply anyone who will listen. Even if there is no one around a person will continue to do so simply because it has been a repeated action in the past and is a simply and easy way to react to unpleasant stimuli

It also releases feel-better Neuro transmitter chemicals in your brain like dopamine and serotonin. IF IT'S REAL CRYING.

If not real,

What is the biological purpose of crying?

then it's a social power play.

 

[StaroRavager]

It also releases feel-better Neuro transmitter chemicals in your brain like dopamine and serotonin. IF IT'S REAL CRYING.

If not real,

If anything I was too focused on the event that caused me to cry to notice

 

[Emba]

If anything I was too focused on the event that caused me to cry to notice

That's usually the case.
It's instinctual.

 

[Schizoidcel]

I last cried 17 years ago

 

[Emba]

I last cried 17 years ago

Are you a numbcel?

 

[ChinaCurry]

My main cope is doing internet research on survival topics. For a while I tried to write a book about it but it looked to shitty and jumpy so I quit.

Lately I'm into studying permaculture and medical plants. As well as trying to grow stuff in my shitty clay soil.

I started the permaculture herbalism as a way increase my social value in the event of a economic collapse. I'm a poorcel so cheap stuff is all I can afford and plants are cheap.

But. Permaculture design is very hard! I'm almost too fucking stupid to understand all the myriad of interconnected stuff. Plus it takes a lot of time to test and grow stuff!

As far as a long-term cope it's great! Because growing stuff requires time. It's slow. Very slow. And sometimes plants fail. Then you have to find alternative solutions to whatever your trying to accomplish.

Since I'm mostly crippled I can barely maintain the stuff. So permaculture is the way to go. It maintains itself. Sometimes.

It's not quite good enough to live off of. But It's better than nothing... it could be better.

Wow you really are a symbol of positivity for all of us. You should have featured on the BBC documentary, and people would know how different we can be

 

[masterwizard]

I'm finally done with the five stages of grief boyos.

Buy a dog will help prevent your mind from rotting due to old age.

 

[Emba]

Buy a dog will help prevent your mind from rotting due to old age.

I have one. You're right! They make a big difference for sure.

I live in the country and a dog is a necessity. All critters work! The cats eat rats and mice and the dog chases off the bigger stuff. And I feed and protect them all.

But I don't buy them. I rescue them. Then the only time they see a vet is to get fixed. Male dogs will run off for weeks trying to fuck... And often come back damaged from fighting... And female dogs will bleed all over the place and attract strays...

No Chad or Becky dogs for me!

Other than that I do my own topical vet work because I can't afford a real vet.

Wow you really are a symbol of positivity for all of us. You should have featured on the BBC documentary, and people would know how different we can be

Thanks br0! But I don't do media.

 

[Deleted member 677]

 

[masterwizard]

I have one. You're right! They make a big difference for sure.

I live in the country and a dog is a necessity. All critters work! The cats eat rats and mice and the dog chases off the bigger stuff. And I feed and protect them all.

But I don't buy them. I rescue them. Then the only time they see a vet is to get fixed. Male dogs will run off for weeks trying to fuck... And often come back damaged from fighting... And female dogs will bleed all over the place and attract strays...

No Chad or Becky dogs for me!

Other than that I do my own topical vet work because I can't afford a real vet.

Thanks br0! But I don't do media.

doesn't sound so bad, living out in the country is better for an incel than living in a city. At least you can be on your own and not reminded day in day out. Imagine being a japanesecel spending your life in a netcafe rented booth.

Vets are mostly retarded and overcharge for very basic stuff, every time my mum takes her cat in its £50 because its eye was weeping for no reason, and they just prescribe an antibiotic eye drop which does nothing because there wasn't really a problem (cat just got something in its eye).

How old are you now? Rare to see a legit oldcel here.

 

[Emba]

doesn't sound so bad, living out in the country is better for an incel than living in a city. At least you can be on your own and not reminded day in day out. Imagine being a japanesecel spending your life in a netcafe rented booth.

Vets are mostly retarded and overcharge for very basic stuff, every time my mum takes her cat in its £50 because its eye was weeping for no reason, and they just prescribe an antibiotic eye drop which does nothing because there wasn't really a problem (cat just got something in its eye).

How old are you now? Rare to see a legit oldcel here.

56! Damn! It's almost over!

For car eye problems (usually conjunctivitis) I make a batch of colloidal silver. Cheap and easy.

I hate çities!
++×
I have a shitload of vet books. Most animal stuff is skin related. (Topical)

 

[masterwizard]

56! Damn! It's almost over!

For car eye problems (usually conjunctivitis) I make a batch of colloidal silver. Cheap and easy.

I hate çities!
++×
I have a shitload of vet books. Most animal stuff is skin related. (Topical)

What do you do, live on a farm or just live in the country on neetbux?

 

[Emba]

What do you do, live on a farm or just live in the country on neetbux?

I rent a trailer that's very shed-like. Maybe 1/2 acre. About 5 miles from a tiny town. Nearest stoplight 50 miles. Disabledbuxx. It's quiet.

 

[Deleted member 2686]

Thanks br0.


Yup. 50 something. B@1963 for some reason I can't remember the exact number even though I do the math often. I guess I'm refusing to accept my age... Or my mercury teeth fucked up my memory.

Tbh I always thought I would have died in my 30's.
+++
Its lifefuel because eventually you'll stop crying.

WTF

gentile @Emba vs (((@FrustratedWhiteMale )))

 

[IamLost]

I have one. You're right! They make a big difference for sure.

I live in the country and a dog is a necessity. All critters work! The cats eat rats and mice and the dog chases off the bigger stuff. And I feed and protect them all.

What kind of dog breed do you have?

I rent a trailer that's very shed-like. Maybe 1/2 acre. About 5 miles from a tiny town. Nearest stoplight 50 miles. Disabledbuxx. It's quiet.

That sounds like a good lifestyle. I hate to live in a city but I have no other choice.
Do you live completly alone on your 1/2 acres? Which would suck I guess.
I hope you got air conditioning because Oklahoma gets hot as hell in summer.

 

[Emba]

What kind of dog breed do you have?

That sounds like a good lifestyle. I hate to live in a city but I have no other choice.
Do you live completly alone on your 1/2 acres? Which would suck I guess.
I hope you got air conditioning because Oklahoma gets hot as hell in summer.

A mountain cur. I rescued it as a puppy. Via feeding strays in town as I ate outside.

I had AC until recently. The ants shorted out that power line and flipped the breaker. I removed the ants but left off the a.c.. I actually feel better without it!!! I think the hot cold shock was fucking with me.

Yup alone. I had tried to find an apprentice for a while to inherit my stuff in exchange for help - yard and various work like swales and trenches for water retention to fruit trees.

The sad truth is I'm not very good at permaculture here. The dirt is rock clay.

Since I'm renting and the owner refuses to even buy paint. Then I don't want him to profit from any improvements I make.

I really don't want his fat and stupid family to eat from my food forest - since they are not even polite - So I only plant stuff for me as a form of savings. Only a few trees. Plus I'm running out of room for trees!!!

For a while I hoped I could save up and find cheap land and build a easier to maintain shack but it's hard on the budget. I still have hope though.

 

[AutistCell]

oldcel are you a virgin?