H
I try not to do this, I try to resist, but it gets the better of me. I try to not get sucked into social media, I really, really do. But sometimes I can't help it. I was on facebook and came across/went through people I know or used to know profiles to painfully remind myself of what could have been. Not even romantically/sexually, but like socially. So I came across this one guy I used to know. He and I had a bit of a falling out. Let's just say when I was younger, I was dumb/immature/mean/weird/kind of violent tbh in hindsight, and like, burned bridges, talked ALOT of shit, had a short fused temper, didn't make/have many friends. It didn't help. So anyways, I come across his profile, and well, he's not what you'd call conventionally handsome. Yet he is "Chaddish", and well, he's got this decent looking chick with him. See where I live, there are certain cultural/social trends that I just never could relate to or fit into. The "quasi mach sports cars beer, although I used to drink alot loud mouthed neurotically controlling contradicting" culture I was around was off putting for me. Was I a bit too sensitive growing up? Yeah. Did environment have to do with that? Probably. But yeah, anyways, here I am alone and there he is with someone. I'm not the same person I used to be, I wouldn't say I'm lucky I didn't end up in jail, it was never anything THAT bad, but behavior wise, wow. I'm shocked at some of what I did. I really did not think of the consequences of my actions. Not even in the typical dumb kid way, this was or felt like something more. Again, some violent tendencies toward peers/friends, weird behavior, trying too hard, lack of self awareness, not always thinking before I spoke, and yeah. I dwell in it a bit much sometimes, but yeah, shocked.
But what does this have to do with anything? Like I said, mental aspects. I think it was that plus other stuff. I lived at home way too long as well. I still have some habits from that, like organizational skills and having too much stuff. I've changed, but some stuff still lingers, like no love/sex/dating life AT ALL. Yeah.
But what does this have to do with anything? Like I said, mental aspects. I think it was that plus other stuff. I lived at home way too long as well. I still have some habits from that, like organizational skills and having too much stuff. I've changed, but some stuff still lingers, like no love/sex/dating life AT ALL. Yeah.
