Every time I seriously imagine a scenario where a woman might actually become my girlfriend, I immediately start thinking about all the struggles I’d face — first, keeping her, and second, not losing my mind over all the “natural” couple things everyone else seems to do without thinking.
First off, let’s say a woman is genuinely interested and willing to spend time with me. I’m not even talking about sex — I mean something as simple as a first date. How do you go from that to “we’re in a relationship now”? The flirting, the chemistry, the natural progression… that’s the part I have no clue about. And honestly, that’s normal if you’ve never done it before. But as an incel, I basically missed the “tutorial level” while everyone else is out here playing the endgame of relationships — long-term commitment, marriage, all that.
It’s like trying to fight a level 60 boss in Dark Souls the second you walk out of the tutorial. You just can’t.
Now let’s imagine, by some miracle, I actually get into a relationship. What the hell am I supposed to do then? I find myself asking questions no one should have to overthink:
I’m the type who only talks when I have something worth saying. That’s fine with friends, but in a relationship, she might get bored and leave for the next guy who has smoother conversation skills — and probably a better face.
And here’s the thing: being an incel has almost become… comfortable. It shouldn’t be, but the more I think about these situations, the more I realize I’m actually afraid of getting into a relationship. My coping mechanisms have become a safe zone I don’t want to step out of.
I think years of inceldom have made me “institutionalized.” You know that old man from The Shawshank Redemption who spent so long in prison that he couldn’t handle normal life anymore? That’s me — but with relationships. I’ve been “institutionalized,” and because of that, even if a relationship comes my way, I feel like I’ll just end up ruining it.
First off, let’s say a woman is genuinely interested and willing to spend time with me. I’m not even talking about sex — I mean something as simple as a first date. How do you go from that to “we’re in a relationship now”? The flirting, the chemistry, the natural progression… that’s the part I have no clue about. And honestly, that’s normal if you’ve never done it before. But as an incel, I basically missed the “tutorial level” while everyone else is out here playing the endgame of relationships — long-term commitment, marriage, all that.
It’s like trying to fight a level 60 boss in Dark Souls the second you walk out of the tutorial. You just can’t.
Now let’s imagine, by some miracle, I actually get into a relationship. What the hell am I supposed to do then? I find myself asking questions no one should have to overthink:
- How often should I see my girlfriend? Every two days? Once a week?
- How do I stay interesting if I’m naturally quiet or socially awkward?
I’m the type who only talks when I have something worth saying. That’s fine with friends, but in a relationship, she might get bored and leave for the next guy who has smoother conversation skills — and probably a better face.
And here’s the thing: being an incel has almost become… comfortable. It shouldn’t be, but the more I think about these situations, the more I realize I’m actually afraid of getting into a relationship. My coping mechanisms have become a safe zone I don’t want to step out of.
I think years of inceldom have made me “institutionalized.” You know that old man from The Shawshank Redemption who spent so long in prison that he couldn’t handle normal life anymore? That’s me — but with relationships. I’ve been “institutionalized,” and because of that, even if a relationship comes my way, I feel like I’ll just end up ruining it.
