My mind is becoming more and more distant. I often have the impression that I don't belong in my body. It feels like I'm watching a movie. What I'm doing doesn't feel real. The things I touch don't feel real. What's happening to me? When I have an argument with someone I often ask myself, why don't I just kill that asshole? Only later do I think about it and realize that these are very evil thoughts. When I receive mail from authorities or insurance companies, I don't respond even though I have the money to pay all bills. I often find myself in the situation where I have to pay fines that weren't actually necessary. The reason is that I was sluggish and slept all day instead of doing my paperwork. But when I do it, it's a movie again. When I eat I don't taste anything. I avoid contact with my family members. Because it doesn't feel real. Sometimes I'm not sure whether I really have a common past with these people. Sometimes it seems to me as if they are just NPCs trying to deceive me. What is wrong with me? I have no feelings towards my own mother and father. I sometimes have the impression that they have been replaced and are not the people I knew from my childhood.
