I am 22 years old, 5'5", from Germany, and have struggled with my height my entire life. I was often bullied in elementary school and also in the early days of high school. I never had any real friends, let alone a girlfriend. I have never held a woman's hand, hugged a woman, kissed a woman, had a relationship with a woman, let alone had sex. Unfortunately, I also have no self-confidence; always being the smallest person in the room does something to your psyche. And when you do say something, you are labeled as having a Napoleon complex, which is a pseudoscientific term. Even today, people still make fun of me because of my height, and as soon as you see posts about short men on social media, the comments are full of amusing statements from both men and women. As I said, I've been rejected a lot in dating, and I've often been blocked after my height came up in conversation. There are also short, handsome men (Tom Cruise), but unfortunately, I'm not handsome either. I've lived a very lonely and depressed life so far because, as I said, I'm still confronted with this issue to this day.
Unfortunately, I hated women. I hated them intensely. I always said that women were to blame for my failure because they find taller men more attractive, whereas I am short and do not fulfill nature's instinctive protective instinct for the protection of offspring. In other words, the biological instinct. Whenever I was rejected or stood up, I thought, oh no wonder, you only want tall and attractive men—I blamed them for everything and sank deeper and deeper into my incel depression.
But now to the good point. I have been thinking about the meaning of life for a long time and, fortunately, I have found my way to God. It really gives me goosebumps. I have found God and am ashamed of my old personality. I am ashamed of how mean I was to other people. Today, I love everyone who makes fun of me or is mean to me. I love these people, I forgive them for all their sins and bad deeds. They can expose me, but I will love them as human beings. The fact that I hated women is so terrible and embarrassing. But I have to get it off my chest here. Now I see every woman as a gift from God, and if they have received their preferences from God, then so be it. If they don't find short men attractive, then so be it.
How can I allow myself to criticize that, even in the slightest? They have their preferences, and that is completely normal from a biological and instinctive point of view. Besides, not every man necessarily needs to have a wife or girlfriend in his life.
Sure, I'm only human, a man, and whenever I see other guys my age having fun with women after parties, on a sexual level for example, then of course that appeals to me too. Even my porn consumption at the time, I wanted to experience everything that was shown there in a certain way. The fun, the love in my teens, falling in love for the first time, the butterflies in my stomach.
But God showed me that none of that is important. I can be happy without these experiences, and I am close to tears because I can feel how much He is with me. I don't need all these things and could also spend my life without friends, women, sex, or any of that. God is with me, and every day I read more about my religion, engage with it more, and it helps me a lot. That's my path so far, how I escaped inceltum and loneliness.
Unfortunately, I hated women. I hated them intensely. I always said that women were to blame for my failure because they find taller men more attractive, whereas I am short and do not fulfill nature's instinctive protective instinct for the protection of offspring. In other words, the biological instinct. Whenever I was rejected or stood up, I thought, oh no wonder, you only want tall and attractive men—I blamed them for everything and sank deeper and deeper into my incel depression.
But now to the good point. I have been thinking about the meaning of life for a long time and, fortunately, I have found my way to God. It really gives me goosebumps. I have found God and am ashamed of my old personality. I am ashamed of how mean I was to other people. Today, I love everyone who makes fun of me or is mean to me. I love these people, I forgive them for all their sins and bad deeds. They can expose me, but I will love them as human beings. The fact that I hated women is so terrible and embarrassing. But I have to get it off my chest here. Now I see every woman as a gift from God, and if they have received their preferences from God, then so be it. If they don't find short men attractive, then so be it.
How can I allow myself to criticize that, even in the slightest? They have their preferences, and that is completely normal from a biological and instinctive point of view. Besides, not every man necessarily needs to have a wife or girlfriend in his life.
Sure, I'm only human, a man, and whenever I see other guys my age having fun with women after parties, on a sexual level for example, then of course that appeals to me too. Even my porn consumption at the time, I wanted to experience everything that was shown there in a certain way. The fun, the love in my teens, falling in love for the first time, the butterflies in my stomach.
But God showed me that none of that is important. I can be happy without these experiences, and I am close to tears because I can feel how much He is with me. I don't need all these things and could also spend my life without friends, women, sex, or any of that. God is with me, and every day I read more about my religion, engage with it more, and it helps me a lot. That's my path so far, how I escaped inceltum and loneliness.
talking about hearing god and shit JFL 
