7
I have had a very tough, hard life with lots of sadness. You can’t imagine the things people have done and how I have been hurt. Thankfully, in most cases, I accept that they are in the past, done, gone, etc. and they are just hurtful memories. But there are three people who were so demonic, evil, sadistic in what they did that my life has been impacted forever - and nothing can change what the effects were. I am so filled with horror, hatred, disgust, you name it - and the professionals I talked to fully understand and agree. No amount of wishing, trying, whatever, can remove the terrible harm they did to my body and soul and the rest of my life. it is impossible for me to forget and forgive and to be honest, my only sense of peace comes from believing what goes round comes round and that some way in the ways of the universe, they will be punished somehow, some way that I will never know about. The harm was so terrible, I will never be able to heal and I have tried and tried and done all the things one is supposed to do to heal and move on. So how does one move on when you just can’t?
