It's Over I ruined christmas for my whole family

[ropingsoon111]

I dont care ! I know it's easier to live in our country, you dont deserve being here thats all !

i dont care either nigga. shut up, youre corny

 

[Izayacel]

Thank you dude, I read every word. I feel like I am batshit crazy because the way I was acting. I never thought I could act that way, I feel like if I was on our balcony that day I would have jumped off.
I am super impulsive right now, I don't know If I'm in a manic episode or something but my body just does not want to hold back anymore. When I slapt myself, I felt nothing but rage. I screamed "KILL ME" numerous times. I want to die, but before I die I want my freedom.

I know that moving out, I will be much better. That is something they need to let me do. Thankfully after that breakdown they are coming to terms with my requests and allowing me to go back to the states so I can start packing my things there and fucking leave.
I've been a shut up slave all my life, always listening to other people. Being bullied by my parents and people outside of the house. And I'm fucking tired of it, they don't know a damn thing about me. They don't know a damn about what the fuck I'd have to go through, many countless and lonely nights where I cry myself to sleep, ALONE.

I know whats best for me, and no one else does. No one has been in my shoes, so they cant understand any SHIT im fucking going through. And I'm tired of trying to explain or find a way to "justify" the thinsg I do. I need to leave.

Thank you for the reassurance though man. Hope you make it out of the situation you're in.

You Dont have to justify or owe anyone , anything . You didnt Ask to be Here in the First place anyways .

Move out and Life on your Terms .

 

[GooberMcKee]

Unfortunately you can't expect your family to be there for you as you need them to. I no longer expect anything from my family. I understand the frustration and disappointment.

Your family was probably your first bully in your life, and is part of why you ended up the way you are today.

Save money that your family doesn't know about and move out, walk away. It's better for your headspace.

 

[ropingsoon111]

You Dont have to justify or owe anyone , anything . You didnt Ask to be Here in the First place anyways .

Move out and Life on your Terms .

thank you man, i really never asked to be here.
and you know whats so fucked up? my parents always tell me how they struggled so much so i can have a "better life" and i asked them if they knew that life is hard for everyone and even harder for some people. they said yes, and i asked them, "knowing this, why did you force me into this world?"
they still cant answer that question

Unfortunately you can't expect your family to be there for you as you need them to. I no longer expect anything from my family. I understand the frustration and disappointment.

Your family was probably your first bully in your life, and is part of why you ended up the way you are today.

Save money that your family doesn't know about and move out, walk away. It's better for your headspace.

i rely on them for housing. my grandpa said i can live with him rent free if i go to school for a bit. so thats my plan.