I am a ricecel, what the fuck was I thinking?
I've only taught at one place. The job is so demoralizing. I don't know if it's the studio's vibe, the general clientele (at this specific studio it's a rich white people space who are aspirational city types), or if it's teaching Pilates in itself. Maybe I will start feeling differently about teaching if I moved onto another studio. I am currently applying to other studios to see if it makes a difference.
I am trying to remind myself why I got into this in the first place. I do "love Pilates and want to share it" but I only feel that way towards certain people, and my current clientele at the studio are not one of them, and I am sure they can tell. I didn't even do it for me because I "love fitness" or "Pilates is my passion", it really is not. I don't give a fuck about fitness in itself, I see it as a means to achieve something else. I started learning Pilates because I thought I could bring it back to my own specific community of underserved and disenfranchised people and wanted to make it more accessible to us, a lot of us are physically broken and poor and injured. I had money to burn and I already have passive income that can keep me financially stable. This is my "charity" and "giving back to the community".
There was another student who was applying for the same studio I am working at, and she said she walked away after the interview because she "doesn't agree with how the studio runs things and its values", and that she pretty much doesn't like the people there lol. I get it, and she had similar reason as me - she wanted to bring Pilates to her neighborhood and community that didn't really know about Pilates. I told her I knew what she meant, but I am going to get hired so I can put my time in and gain experience (so I can serve my own people better in the future). When I got hired at this particular studio, I already had an idea of what I was signing up for and it can be a culture clash and I will grit my teeth, but yeah I am really feeling the depth of it.
I am starting to regret investing so much time and money into becoming certified. It cost like $10k. But it did make my own Pilates practice better and give me a deeper understanding of anatomy and improved my overall fitness in such an efficient way. I started this because I wanted to bring Pilates to my community. My community is really all I have in my life and if I can't go back, I plan on killing myself (in minecraft). Honestly they probably won't even appreciate what I am bringing to them, that's how dumb we are. We're a bunch of stupid fucks who also can't afford anything, and nobody actually gives a fuck about us unless they just want to use us for virtue signalling until they get their PR agenda completed and then dump us again. But I do care about us. I even learn random shit to help improve my teaching practice. I want to be a formidable source of knowledge for my community, even though most of us are retarded and don't know better (or maybe that's exactly why I want to be a source for them).
Fuck.
I've only taught at one place. The job is so demoralizing. I don't know if it's the studio's vibe, the general clientele (at this specific studio it's a rich white people space who are aspirational city types), or if it's teaching Pilates in itself. Maybe I will start feeling differently about teaching if I moved onto another studio. I am currently applying to other studios to see if it makes a difference.
I am trying to remind myself why I got into this in the first place. I do "love Pilates and want to share it" but I only feel that way towards certain people, and my current clientele at the studio are not one of them, and I am sure they can tell. I didn't even do it for me because I "love fitness" or "Pilates is my passion", it really is not. I don't give a fuck about fitness in itself, I see it as a means to achieve something else. I started learning Pilates because I thought I could bring it back to my own specific community of underserved and disenfranchised people and wanted to make it more accessible to us, a lot of us are physically broken and poor and injured. I had money to burn and I already have passive income that can keep me financially stable. This is my "charity" and "giving back to the community".
There was another student who was applying for the same studio I am working at, and she said she walked away after the interview because she "doesn't agree with how the studio runs things and its values", and that she pretty much doesn't like the people there lol. I get it, and she had similar reason as me - she wanted to bring Pilates to her neighborhood and community that didn't really know about Pilates. I told her I knew what she meant, but I am going to get hired so I can put my time in and gain experience (so I can serve my own people better in the future). When I got hired at this particular studio, I already had an idea of what I was signing up for and it can be a culture clash and I will grit my teeth, but yeah I am really feeling the depth of it.
I am starting to regret investing so much time and money into becoming certified. It cost like $10k. But it did make my own Pilates practice better and give me a deeper understanding of anatomy and improved my overall fitness in such an efficient way. I started this because I wanted to bring Pilates to my community. My community is really all I have in my life and if I can't go back, I plan on killing myself (in minecraft). Honestly they probably won't even appreciate what I am bringing to them, that's how dumb we are. We're a bunch of stupid fucks who also can't afford anything, and nobody actually gives a fuck about us unless they just want to use us for virtue signalling until they get their PR agenda completed and then dump us again. But I do care about us. I even learn random shit to help improve my teaching practice. I want to be a formidable source of knowledge for my community, even though most of us are retarded and don't know better (or maybe that's exactly why I want to be a source for them).
Fuck.
Last edited:
