Serious I really have problems with the concept of confidence

[AshamedVirgin34]

As an incel, I hate confident people and I also don't want to be confident because I don't want to be similar to those confident women I dislike. I'm not confident, I never was, not even when I was a child, I always felt my own family saw me as a useless person and a waste of time, I always felt not good enough and women do nothing but reinforce that belief by always sleeping with men who are more attractive than me.

To me, confidence doesn't make a lot of sense, I don't see how it would make me a better person, and I hate the fact that women are attracted to confidence because I'm not a confident person, how can I get a girlfriend without becoming too confident? Could it be possible to do that if I looksmaxx enough?

 

[TheGrayWolf]

Me, too. I have ZERO confidence. I'm boring, high-inhibited, extreme social anxiety (scared of even going outside without a hat)..... hell, I wouldn't know what to even say on a "date" (but then again, I don't have to worry about that).

Are you 34?

 

[AshamedVirgin34]

scared of even going outside without a hat

Brutal. Simply brutal.

hell, I wouldn't know what to even say on a "date" (but then again, I don't have to worry about that).

Same. Even if a woman flirted with me, which will never happen, but even if it happened, I'd be like "ok, what's next, what do I do here, how do I flirt", flirting is like a foreign language others just were born knowing but I don't understand, I hate and resent people who can flirt naturally, I don't know how to sexualize a conversation without accidentally coming across as creepy or needy, it isn't natural for me at all. Even if a woman flirted with me, I would still give up.

Are you 34?

I'm 22yo.

 

[wastedcodeine]

Try xanax bro

 

[turbosperg]

Confidence is almost synonymous with competence, skill and success.

As a rule, you become "confident" by acknwoledging your own success, competence and skill.

In rare cases a person is skillful, successful but not confident, that is called "impostor syndrome".

In other cases a person is incompetent but confident, that's called "Dunning-Kruger effect".

But if you have zero interpersonal success, you're not off-the-mark by having zero confidence.