SuicideFuel I paid a hooker for an "erotic massage" and it went just like I expected (1000% over for me)

[watcher]

This is the type of thread that once you make it, you will always be "that one guy who did that one thing" and become a mockery, but I don't give a shit, because if I can admit to being a 28 year old virgin on this forum, I can write about this. This is pretty brutal and hilarious at the same time.

I decided a few weeks (months?) ago that I didn't want to die a virgin and I wanted to at least try fucking a hooker, since fucking prostitutes is seen as an OK cope by the incel community I thought it could be a good cope for me as well.

However, I am an huge narcy like I already said many times before, and I just couldn't do it (the first time I thought about it was in 2017) so I kept delaying it, quitting it, etc.

I had a plan to make things easier for me, I would start with something easier (like getting a massage) so I could maybe get used to getting touched and shit, so I could little by little try being more ambitious.

Anyway, after a little planning, today was the big day, I was going to see a (supposedly) hot girl who was going to make me an erotic massage (so basically glorified masturbation) I kept telling myself over and over that if I didn't do it, I would never know whether this is actually fun or engaging anyway. But I kept questioning myself if this was really worth it.

Today I woke up with my typical raging morning boner. But my dick quickly became really 'timid' due to the anxiety, it was so small and pathetic, today was a little cold, sure, but DAMN it looked like I had a kid's dick, my size is not small, but I looked like I have a micro dick, basically. This happened through the whole day., I even tried watching some porn to see if my dick got happy but it even felt weird, like I didn't even gave a shit about sex or something.

Now let me make this clear: I am a very, very, VERY anxious son of a bitch, anything will make me feel like I am going to explode. So before going there, I took a beta blocker 'atenolol' because I didn't want to freak out in nervousness and shit. It worked OK during public presentations, nothing miraculous but whatever.

I got there, feeling not as nervous and I would (perhaps because of the medication) and she was a scammer: very different from the photos, she was worse looking, not a deformed ogre or anything, but much worse (her ad said she could make your dick grow bigger so that was already a redflag, obvious scammer) her skin was darker, her body worse (the girl in the phoros was hiding her face) I though about asking for a confirmation photo but I couldn't. But hey it was still a girl and looked like one. We did a little small talk (I even made her laugh once or twice) and it was all good.

I decided to go through with it because I didn't want to lose the ride and I wanted to know how it feels to get your dick touched.

She told me to get naked and lay on the bed, and so I did.... she came in after a while (she had a very big ass and it was touching me which was nice) and she started to stroke it... over and over... and over...

And........ I couldn't get hard, I just waited and waited there, patiently, while she stroked my pathetic limp dick. I could not even feel pathetic about it because I am so used to getting crushed by life that it didn't even matter, she asked me if I was nervous (for obvious reasons) and I said I was not (I was not feeling anxious anyway) she offered a BJ but I said no because I don't think it would work at all.

I waited a little bit, gave up, told her that its not working, gave her the fucking money (well she touched my dick and the time to turn around and leave was before that) and left.

I couldn't even feel sad or angry, all I could think about was how shitty life is but I even laughed a few times at how ridiculous this was.

I came back home, looked up atenolol side effects and... erectile dysfunction is one of them. It COULD explain it (together with the fact she was less hot) However my dick was so small and pathetic long before I took the medication, and I couldn't get an erection watching porn either, so I think this might not be the whole story. Also my hormonal profile that look like it was taken by a 80 cancer patient could've helped as well, there are men who fuck under all sorts of fucked up drugs and alcohol without any problem too. Also, shit like excessive masturbation and "porn addiction" could not be the cause because I only masturbate once or twice per week, the last time I masturbated was saturday after waking up. And I have no problems getting morning wood as well.

I don't know whether I should try this again (without taking medications) or give up now, holy shit I feel pathetic.

TL;DR: Hired a hooker to masturbate me, couldn't get hard, maybe due to betablocker or anxiety. It's over.

 

[Deleted member 26140]

I waited a little bit, gave up, told her that its not working, gave her the fucking money (well she touched my dick and the time to turn around and leave was before that) and left.

I physically cringed reading this. I'm really sorry, OP. You should try again when you're not under the influence of drugs.

 

[Deleted member 22572]

Wtf I didn't know these erotic massage things were actually a thing?? Ima do dat one day.

I don't think it's that bad it was just cuz u were anxious that's all.

 

[watcher]

I physically cringed reading this. I'm really sorry, OP. You should try again when you're not under the influence of drugs.

Thanks for the solidarity and yes I will try again in the future.

I might make a test by using this medication 1 hour before masturbation and see if it keeps me from getting an erection, if I can fap normally then I guess it was not the medication.

 

[UglyBongola]

That's a long read. Brutal story.

 

[watcher]

Wtf I didn't know these erotic massage things were actually a thing?? Ima do dat one day.

I don't think it's that bad it was just cuz u were anxious that's all.

It's not that it was a tragedy or anything but I am afraid I might never enjoy hookers which is basically my only hope cope after sexdolls.

Brutal

 

[LeFrenchCel]

That's a long read. Brutal story.

 

[muharremabi]

I would probably coom within 10 seconds if I tried the same thing. Is it even possible to not get an erection when you have a woman close to you.

 

[Deleted member 21219]

It's not that it was a tragedy or anything but I am afraid I might never enjoy hookers which is basically my only hope cope after sexdolls.

Get a good looking foid next time. That was prolly why you couldnt get your dick erect.

 

[Fat Link]

I think I might know or have the solution to your problem as a fellow anxiety sufferer.

Ok basically what you need is comfort and familiarity with someone to have your anxiety melt away enough so that you can produce a viable hard on and thereby get your fuck on.

So if you’ve got the cash perhaps next time you could find a reasonably hot girl to get with or rather become a regular of so you can get used to being around her and touching a girl’s body and having her touch you, etc, etc.

Also you may want to even see if the girl would agree to let you massage her ie what I’m saying is have her totally naked and laying on her back or stomach whichever you prefer and don’t go right for her cunny or titties immediately but really get involved and give her your best idea of a full and relaxing body massage to put you both at ease and once again increase your familiarity with the female body.

Eventually when relaxed enough with a certain girl and doing this you’re bound to finally get an erection that will pleasantly surprise you as if out of nowhere and it will come about because not only are you turned on but finally have become so familiar and comfortable with the girl that your thoughts are no longer racing and stressing over anxieties but calm and collected allowing your body to release and engage itself in far more pleasurable things.

Anyway once you’re hard you could of had an agreement far ahead of time that she can then begin giving you a blowjob from there or sex or both ie whatever you’re comfortable with.

Edit: Also I’ve heard having a few drinks (alcohol) beforehand helps but only enough to get a buzz on as you want to avoid the condition known as “whiskey dick” which is basically to say bad limp noodle. Also most people that say alcohol helps I think usually suggest some form of wine so not beer or whiskey.

 

[watcher]

I would probably coom within 10 seconds if I tried the same thing. Is it even possible to not get an erection when you have a woman close to you.

That is EXACTLY what I thought before going there, I legit thought about the possibility of getting ED, but I thought "no way I can't get hard with a hot chick stroking my dick.... right?"

 

[Caesercel]

Its weird how you people just pop in pills like its candy.

Also #1 rule of escortcelling, if she looks different from the photos RUN

 

[watcher]

I think I might know or have the solution to your problem as a fellow anxiety sufferer.

Ok basically what you need is comfort and familiarity with someone to have your anxiety melt away enough so that you can produce a viable hard on and thereby get your fuck on.

So if you’ve got the cash perhaps next time you could find a reasonably hot girl to get with or rather become a regular of so you can get used to being around her and touching a girl’s body and having her touch you, etc, etc.

Also you may want to even see if the girl would agree to let you massage her ie what I’m saying is have her totally naked and laying on her back or stomach whichever you prefer and don’t go right for her cunny or titties immediately but really get involved and give her your best idea of a full and relaxing body massage to put you both at ease and once again increase your familiarity with the female body.

Eventually when relaxed enough with a certain girl and doing this you’re bound to finally get an erection that will pleasantly surprise you as if out of nowhere and it will come about because not only are you turned on but finally have become so familiar and comfortable with the girl that your thoughts are no longer racing and stressing over anxieties but calm and collected allowing your body to release and engage itself in far more pleasurable things.

Anyway once you’re hard you could of had an agreement far ahead of time that she can then begin giving you a blowjob from there or sex or both ie whatever you’re comfortable with.

Sounds legit. Have you ever did this or is it just a theory?

Its weird how you people just pop in pills like its candy.

Also #1 rule of escortcelling, if she looks different from the photos RUN

If I simply left I would just keep thinking about this and if I would enjoy it or not and it was driving me crazy, but yeah it was the best choice and what I plan on doing if it happens again.

 

[Incel_Because_Short]

I would probably coom within 10 seconds if I tried the same thing. Is it even possible to not get an erection when you have a woman close to you.

It's harder than it sounds dude. I also thought I would coom in ten seconds, but the fakeness of the interaction sort of turns you off.

 

[Fat Link]

Sounds legit. Have you ever did this or is it just a theory?

If I simply left I would just keep thinking about this and if I would enjoy it or not and it was driving me crazy, but yeah it was the best choice and what I plan on doing if it happens again.

Never escortcelled but despite having bad anxiety my entire life my high school social studies teacher I think made me very comfortable with her somehow and was somewhat of an attractive woman from what I remember in a stern but probably not bitchy kind of sense, so needless to say with epic amounts of hormones in me at the young teen age of 14 or 15 it was difficult at times to hide my “rager” during up close teaching sessions in her class, heh.

Oh and also I saw great porn massage vids where the guy oils some uber hot blonde broad up and after a long period of time passes or what seems like it they both get adequately turned on, she flips herself over sideways and begins sucking him off when she was laying on her tits and stomach before.

So I think this strategy could work for you too albeit scripted as the one I watched perhaps was.

 

[Neggr]

Sorry man but I had to laugh

 

[watcher]

Never escortcelled but despite having bad anxiety my entire life my high school social studies teacher I think made me very comfortable with her somehow and was somewhat of an attractive woman from what I remember in a stern but probably not bitchy kind of sense, so needless to say with epic amounts of hormones in me at the young teen age of 14 or 15 it was difficult at times to hide my “rager” during up close teaching sessions in her class, heh.

Oh and also I saw great porn massage vids where the guy oils some uber hot blonde broad up and after a long period of time passes or what seems like it they both get adequately turned on, she flips herself over sideways and begins sucking him off when she was laying on her tits and stomach before.

So I think this strategy could work for you too albeit scripted as the one I watched perhaps was.

My hormones are far from that of a 14~15 year old, I have T levels of a 80 year old cancer patient

 

[Fat Link]

My hormones are far from that of a 14~15 year old, I have T levels of a 80 year old cancer patient

Are you in need of Viagra to get it up brother?

No shame in that if you need it.

However if your Willy Wonka responds normally to you wacking it by your lonesome than it seems clear to me that simply finding a viable way to overcome your performance anxiety is the main thing here.

 

[Napoléoncel]

Bruh why the hell would you get an erotic massage if youre going to pay a whore. Plus, those fucking pills your psych gives are good boy pills. They turn you into a mindless zombie so you can’t question or get angry at the society. Reading this was brutal, I hire escorts every week 1-2 times and sometimes 3 if I have money, and I always get rock hard, no issues with it at all. That’s fucking brutal buddy boyo, my condolences. This might scar you for life and maybe you won’t try to fuck an escort because of this incident. It’s so fucking ovER.

Are you in need of Viagra to get it up brother?

No shame in that if you need it.

However if your Willy Wonka responds normally to you wacking it by your lonesome than it seems clear to me that simply finding a viable way to overcome your performance anxiety is the main thing here.

JFL at Willy Wonka I fucking laughed hard dude

 

[watcher]

Are you in need of Viagra to get it up brother?

No shame in that if you need it.

However if your Willy Wonka responds normally to you wacking it by your lonesome than it seems clear to me that simply finding a viable way to overcome your performance anxiety is the main thing here.

Yes I have no problem fapping, in fact I wake up mostly feeling like fapping but I avoid doing it too much because it fuck up my mood.

Bruh why the hell would you get an erotic massage if youre going to pay a whore. Plus, those fucking pills your psych gives are good boy pills. They turn you into a mindless zombie so you can’t question or get angry at the society. Reading this was brutal, I hire escorts every week 1-2 times and sometimes 3 if I have money, and I always get rock hard, no issues with it at all. That’s fucking brutal buddy boyo, my condolences. This might scar you for life and maybe you won’t try to fuck an escort because of this incident. It’s so fucking ovER.

I was never prescribed these drugs, I bought them because I go full retard in public speeches, so I take them like once a few months only when I have to, its not a routine.

 

[npcel]

Sorry to read that

Heres how I tried to think of it.. when you're suicidal nothing really matters anymore right? So you just go there for the experience which could be good or also be bad.
As for not getting hard could also be your mind which is blocking you. I didnt coom at 5/6 hookers because it felt to mechanical (for 1 hour every time). One even gave me some kind of viagra gel but it didnt do shit ( was hard but not at 100% and was from normal stimulation before viagra should take effect)
Just keep on practicing

 

[watcher]

But I doubt they were the only reason, like I said, I was feeling pretty much asexual through the whole day and my dick was basically trying to hide inside of me. Long before taking the drugs.

Sorry to read that

Heres how I tried to think of it.. when you're suicidal nothing really matters anymore right? So you just go there for the experience which could be good or also be bad.
As for not getting hard could also be your mind which is blocking you. I didnt coom at 5/6 hookers because it felt to mechanical (for 1 hour every time). One even gave me some kind of viagra gel but it didnt do shit ( was hard but not at 100% and was from normal stimulation before viagra should take effect)
Just keep on practicing

I might try doing it without drugs and then maybe even take drugs to make it hard but damn I am not even 30 yet, this is fucked up.

 

[ThoughtfulCel]

 

[Hate_my_life]

Its weird how you people just pop in pills like its candy.

Also #1 rule of escortcelling, if she looks different from the photos RUN

This.

How much did you pay?

My hormones are far from that of a 14~15 year old, I have T levels of a 80 year old cancer patient

JFL

Ask @FrustratedWhiteMale if he remembers his password for advice

 

[watcher]

This.

How much did you pay?

Not going into details but it was cheap, especially considering this is 3rd world and I am from a rich family too.

 

[Deleted member 6214]

The problem here bro is that you went there just for a handjob without any prior stimuli or foreplay. You need to see a proper escort for the whole sex experience, just getting naked and her touching your dick isnt enough to get you hard. I guarantee you could've gotten hard if you got to feel up her ass for a bit, or grabbed her boobs, or felt her kissing your neck. Go for that next time.

 

[watcher]

The problem here bro is that you went there just for a handjob without any prior stimuli or foreplay. You need to see a proper escort for the whole sex experience, just getting naked and her touching your dick isnt enough to get you hard. I guarantee you could've gotten hard if you got to feel up her ass for a bit, or grabbed her boobs, or felt her kissing your neck. Go for that next time.

This sounds like good advice, and makes sense to me, might try the whole thing next time, thanks!

 

[Lame Dude]

Honestly I would have started with massaging her.

Anyway, anxiety is better than drugs IMO op. You are masking the feeling you are supposed to learn to live with.
Also;

 

[watcher]

Honestly I would have started with massaging her.

Anyway, anxiety is better than drugs IMO op. You are masking the feeling you are supposed to learn to live with.
Also;

I don't take these every day, only when I feel I need to, normally once every few months. And its not an antidepressant, although it has ED as a possible side effect.

 

[grondilu]

There's nothing wrong in not getting an erection for a woman you're not attracted to.

You can't command this shit.

It doesn't take much to ruin your mood and make you lose an erection.

I recommend guys who want to fuck whores for the first time to make sure they pick a female they actually desire. Once you see her IRL if she doesn't look like the photos or if you don't find her desirable just get the hell out.

 

[Deleted member 6214]

This sounds like good advice, and makes sense to me, might try the whole thing next time, thanks!

No problem bro and my advice comes from personal experience, the first time a woman put her hand on my dick nothing really happened. On its own its just not enough

 

[watcher]

There's nothing wrong in not getting an erection for a woman you're not attracted to.

You can't command this shit.

It doesn't take much to ruin your mood and make you lose an erection.

I recommend guys who want to fuck whores for the first time to make sure they pick a female they actually desire. Once you see her IRL if she doesn't look like the photos or if you don't find her desirable just get the hell out.

Thanks, there is a website here in my country which require videos to confirm so I will use that next time, it was a waste but at least it was cheap.

 

[TheIncredibleIncel]

Do you still the ad or a link to the ad? Could I see it? What site did you use?

 

[watcher]

No problem bro and my advice comes from personal experience, the first time a woman put her hand on my dick nothing really happened. On its own its just not enough

Hey even if I don't get hard, at least I will get to kiss a sexy bitch, get my hands on her tits, ass etc. IDK

Do you still the ad or a link to the ad? Could I see it? What site did you use?

I used skokka, it has no way of you knowing any woman there is fake or not, it was a big mistake.

 

[Deleted member 6214]

Hey even if I don't get hard, at least I will get to kiss a sexy bitch, get my hands on her tits, ass etc. IDK

I used skokka, it has no way of you knowing any woman there is fake or not, it was a big mistake.

Lol try to use the more widely known sites like adultwork, vivastreet

 

[Lame Dude]

I don't take these every day, only when I feel I need to, normally once every few months. And its not an antidepressant, although it has ED as a possible side effect.

I understand. I said what I said considering that.

 

[Ropemaxx]

that was very depressing ngl

 

[FidelCashflow]

Was she asian?

 

[watcher]

Lol try to use the more widely known sites like adultwork, vivastreet

Yeah there are good sites here with confirmation videos, area for comments etc. but I just did a dumb decision.

However, I don't think her worse looks were the real cause, its not like I don't want to fuck half the women I see (in theory at least).

Was she asian?

No, dark skinned latina

 

[SlayerSlayer]

I doubt taking not taking the beta-blocker or even taking a viagra would help. The thing that might help the most is if you could somehow schedule the act in the morning when boners just occur naturally, but I highly suspect that you are too psychologically damaged from the years of rejection to maintain an erection with a woman. True forced asexuality. It's OVER

 

[watcher]

I doubt taking not taking the beta-blocker or even taking a viagra would help. The thing that might help the most is if you could somehow schedule the act in the morning when boners just occur naturally, but I highly suspect that you are too psychologically damaged from the years of rejection to maintain an erection with a woman. True forced asexuality. It's OVER

Yeah I am not all that confident about it either. If I paid a hooker to try doing things the "traditional" way, I would probably just keep kissing her and groping her body but with a limp dick down below, even if she was hot. My brain is asexual when it comes to women IRL. Even though I can masturbate just fine to porn.
Btw I will try nofap for 1 month, this shit might not get you a gf but DAMN it makes you horny

 

[undergroundcel]

"just get a hooker bro."

brutal

 

[watcher]

"just get a hooker bro."

brutal

I just got brutally mogged by every single escortcel in this website.

 

[SlayerSlayer]

Yeah I am not all that confident about it either. If I paid a hooker to try doing things the "traditional" way, I would probably just keep kissing her and groping her body but with a limp dick down below, even if she was hot. My brain is asexual when it comes to women IRL. Even though I can masturbate just fine to porn.
Btw I will try nofap for 1 month, this shit might not get you a gf but DAMN it makes you horny

It really seems like the problem is 100% psychological, because you can still get raging boners in the morning. The presence of real women is what makes it go limp. Your journey to simply maintain an erection with a real woman will be as hard as forcing a gay to go straight. You fundamentally fear women (especially the female mind) and the expectations you place on yourself simply cannot be escaped. The problem is that you probably are a truely "nice" person, and I hate to use faggy new genderspeak, but you are probably a demisexual, in that you literally cannot experience real arousal unless a deep sense of trust and love is formed, therefore it is useless to go to whores, or even gf experience. The only way you can get it up is if a sweet female actually loves you.

 

[watcher]

you are probably a demisexual, in that you literally cannot experience real arousal unless a deep sense of trust and love is formed

If that was true, I would not be able to masturbate to porn of people I don't even know, let alone love, fucking each other.

 

[SlayerSlayer]

If that was true, I would not be able to masturbate to porn of people I don't even know, let alone love, fucking each other.

The demisexuality shit applies to real life. Your fear of female judgement is so strong it makes your dick go limp immediately. Porn has no judgement involved.

 

[watcher]

The demisexuality shit applies to real life. Your fear of female judgement is so strong it makes your dick go limp immediately. Porn has no judgement involved.

The fact I care about their judgement is not a new thing for me at all, I always noticed this. But I thought having a real woman touching my dick or whatever would override that, I was wrong. I like to think its the medication but the reality is that my dick was on strike since right after I left my bed. Long before I took anything.
My plan now is to wait a while, see if a few weeks of nofap can make me become so horny I stop caring (and trust me nofap can make you really horny) and see if I can do it... if not, I give up completely, and my life will be basically be feeling jealous of both Chads and escortcels as well.

 

[SlayerSlayer]

The fact I care about their judgement is not a new thing for me at all, I always noticed this. But I thought having a real woman touching my dick or whatever would override that, I was wrong. I like to think its the medication but the reality is that my dick was on strike since right after I left my bed. Long before I took anything.

What would turn you on is if you sensed that a woman was weak for you, staring in your eyes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear in ways no other man has yet deserved, but tough luck on that happening. Not only are you incel in looks, but you need an exceptionally understanding, emotionally intelligent woman that is far beyond your league. This is why it's over for most men. Most women are too damaged themselves to allow sex to be a meaningful and emotional act.

 

[watcher]

What would turn you on is if you sensed that a woman was weak for you, staring in your eyes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear in ways no other man has yet deserved, but tough luck on that happening. Not only are you incel in looks, but you need an exceptionally understanding, emotionally intelligent woman that is far beyond your league.

I care about impressing women (and people in general) more than I care about my own pleasure. I've been like this since I can remember. That's how a narcy brain works.
But this is really bizarre, I could not care less about this bitch's judgement, its almost as if I "got over it" and don't give a shit about her opinions, but at the same time I still feel like shit, like I failed myself, I failed in getting pleasure, I failed in being happy, etc.

 

[BlkPillPres]

@watcher - do you masturbate?