- Oct 25, 2022
I'm convinced I'm in the final stages of taking the black pill. At this point, I seriously can no longer experience any sort of pleasure doing anything, whether it be eating, jerking off, playing video games, or watching anime. Nothing is the same anymore; nothing is enjoyable. The only thing I do at this point is daydream about unattainable things, such as being Chad or a famous Twitch streamer, and stuff like this. Without daydreaming, I would lose my sanity; it is one of my final copes. Besides this forum, the only thing I do now is switch between this forum and Spotify to listen to music to daydream to. I truly feel like, at this point, I'm just waiting for death to come to me. I've finally accepted that things are truly over for me, both health-wise and mentally. I'm no longer a normal human being. I can't interact with people or go outside without having severe anxiety. The only emotions I experience now are numbness or pure rage. there is nothing in between i miss being happy i dont remember the last time i felt true happiness and i simply no longer care for anything anymore if your life is going nowhere and you can never acheive the things you want due to things you never had control over the whats the point of doing anything i simply dont see it anymore i dont no how other incels in this forum can seriously cope with the reality there dealing with ive already indulged into copes so much the dont work anymore when im not on this forum im daydreaming i daydream for hours on end about how my life would have been like had i been attractive i think of all of the fun experiences i would have had in my life but no im just a subhuman who is bad at everything and nothing will ever change for me Ever since early 2020, I have not left my house. I've just been a neet, and every day my parents scream at me, calling me a failure, and my mom even tells me to just give up and I won't get anywhere in life. I just wish I had something to enjoy. I feel like I've played every good video game and watched over 400+ animes, so there is nothing good to watch anymore. I spent all of last night trying to find an anime to watch, but everything is bad now. I'm just so tired of feeling bad, and I'm so tired of being ugly. I'm so ugly, to the point where I haven't looked into the mirror for months. I feel like I'm just stuck in quicksand, and no matter how hard I try to get out, there is simply no way out, and I just have to accept my fate and die. It's truly over for me in Minecraft .