L
Dnr tallfag sexhaver gtfo
I am a Swedish incel. A real loser. A 31-year-old man who has never had a relationship with a woman.
I have a narrow face with thin lips, pale skin that turns red in the sun, ugly crooked teeth and a feminine chin.
My wrists are weak. Arms and shoulders are narrow. I am tall (194 cm) but I have bad forward leaning posture. The legs are as narrow as knitting needles and the feet are large and clumsy. When I look in the mirror, I see an ugly person.
The only positives are my hair, which is blond and thick, and my penis, which is large (22 cm).
Many people probably think that I should be happy with such a penis, but I only experience it as a mockery. Every time I see it, I just feel a great frustration at not being able to use it the way nature created us. I jerk off every day and fantasize about how women enjoy being filled by me, but afterwards everything just feels empty and miserable.
Being ostracized from a normal sex life is extra hard in a country like Sweden. It is a liberated country where sex is discussed openly and where it is considered natural to live out one's desires. Men and women are equal and people deal with it without being ashamed of it. You can figure out how it feels to hear both men and women talk openly about their sex life when you yourself don't have what seems to be so natural to others.
I don't know what it feels like to have sex. I have never had any kind of love relationship with a woman. No woman has ever been in love with me. I feel extreme envy when I see couples in love. It physically hurts me when I realize that this will never happen to me.
But I actually got to experience sex – once. And I want to share it because it has affected me quite a bit. Both positive and negative.
It happened when I was 23 years old. I was invited on a cruise together with several hundred of my colleagues. Most of them were people who worked in other offices and whom I had never met.
During the late evening there was wild partying. Most were drunk. I am very careful with alcohol so I was only moderately drunk.
The guy I shared a cab with (one of the few I knew a little) brought two fairly young women to the cab. They looked to be 18-19 years old and they were really drunk and giggly. Fair-haired and quite sweet. I was, as usual, shy in front of women and mostly sat quietly but my colleague was in a party mood and made the girls laugh. The atmosphere was high and for once I didn't feel so left out as the cabin was so crowded that we had to sit close together.
He offered them drinks and they got more and more drunk. He started pawing one of them a little and she seemed pleased with it.
Then he suddenly said to the girls: - That guy is really well equipped! (he had no idea about it but just guessed).
They looked at me and giggled. Then the guy started hugging and cuddling with one of the girls. There was a kind of sexiness in the air that I had never experienced before.
After a while he left the cab and there I sat with two strange drunk girls. I'm used to women never looking at me with anything but disgust but the idea of a big cock apparently intrigued them. That's the only way I can interpret it. I didn't know what to do at all. Do they want me to do something? Or are they going to leave now that he doesn't seem to be coming back? My uncertainty almost paralyzed me.
But then something happened that I never, never, never thought would happen to me. One of the girls asked me to bring it out. They giggled and looked at each other. I remember thinking, "Maybe they're just trying to trick me, if I take off my clothes, maybe they'll laugh at me and leave the cab?" But at the same time I thought: “This is a unique opportunity. Just being able to show them my dick would be a bigger deal than anything else I've done"
I pulled my pants down and lay down on the bed. Both girls were helped to pull down their panties. They giggled and looked at each other. I was terrified that my nervousness would keep me from getting hard but I thank my creator (whom I don't believe in) that it started to hard already when one girl grabbed the root and started jerking it off. I could hardly believe it. I was in heaven! Absolutely unimaginable. Her little hand with painted nails gripped my cock tightly and it felt so good I can't describe it. Not just the physical feeling but also the fact that someone is actually doing this without me even asking.
She asked her friend if she wanted to taste it but she said no. Then she did it instead. I still remember the color of her lipstick when she took me in her mouth. Strangely enough, it was no nicer than when she jerked off. Her mouth was warm and wet and visually it was wonderful to see how I filled up her oral cavity. I don't know if her technique was lacking but after a while I felt that I would rather she continued to use her hands.
Her friend left the cab and then she asked me bluntly if I wanted to fuck. I was so hard then that I physically couldn't refuse, but I had never been close to a woman so how would it go? And of course it didn't go well at all.
She pulled down her panties and exposed a small bush between her thighs. I didn't have time to see more before she straddled me. She probably thought I had sex before because initially she made no attempt to bring it in but waited for me. But I didn't know how to do it at all. I pushed it up towards her but had no idea I was anywhere near the hole. After a while she grabbed it but by then I had started to lose my footing. And then it was over. She gave me almost no time at all to try and get it but got off and sat on the bed.
I then saw how drunk she was and I began to realize that she regretted it. She said nothing so I said some pathetic words like "Sorry" and "It was probably the alcohol" but I got no reaction. She left the cab and I never saw her again.What did I get out of this event?
Positive: To experience a woman's hand and mouth around my sex at least once in my single life. Getting jerked off was even nicer than I imagined. The combination of closeness and the physical pleasure. Those were the best minutes of my life.
Negative: That I didn't manage to fuck when I got my only chance. So close yet so far away. The humiliation when I slacked off and her obvious disappointment. And I who had wanted to squirt in her, on her, everywhere. Afterwards, I often fantasize about the exact same situation but with the difference that she managed to ride me. I imagine her moaning loudly, screaming and orgasming with me inside. But when the imagination lets go and I look at my worthless sex, I'm disgusted.
I have a narrow face with thin lips, pale skin that turns red in the sun, ugly crooked teeth and a feminine chin.
My wrists are weak. Arms and shoulders are narrow. I am tall (194 cm) but I have bad forward leaning posture. The legs are as narrow as knitting needles and the feet are large and clumsy. When I look in the mirror, I see an ugly person.
The only positives are my hair, which is blond and thick, and my penis, which is large (22 cm).
Many people probably think that I should be happy with such a penis, but I only experience it as a mockery. Every time I see it, I just feel a great frustration at not being able to use it the way nature created us. I jerk off every day and fantasize about how women enjoy being filled by me, but afterwards everything just feels empty and miserable.
Being ostracized from a normal sex life is extra hard in a country like Sweden. It is a liberated country where sex is discussed openly and where it is considered natural to live out one's desires. Men and women are equal and people deal with it without being ashamed of it. You can figure out how it feels to hear both men and women talk openly about their sex life when you yourself don't have what seems to be so natural to others.
I don't know what it feels like to have sex. I have never had any kind of love relationship with a woman. No woman has ever been in love with me. I feel extreme envy when I see couples in love. It physically hurts me when I realize that this will never happen to me.
But I actually got to experience sex – once. And I want to share it because it has affected me quite a bit. Both positive and negative.
It happened when I was 23 years old. I was invited on a cruise together with several hundred of my colleagues. Most of them were people who worked in other offices and whom I had never met.
During the late evening there was wild partying. Most were drunk. I am very careful with alcohol so I was only moderately drunk.
The guy I shared a cab with (one of the few I knew a little) brought two fairly young women to the cab. They looked to be 18-19 years old and they were really drunk and giggly. Fair-haired and quite sweet. I was, as usual, shy in front of women and mostly sat quietly but my colleague was in a party mood and made the girls laugh. The atmosphere was high and for once I didn't feel so left out as the cabin was so crowded that we had to sit close together.
He offered them drinks and they got more and more drunk. He started pawing one of them a little and she seemed pleased with it.
Then he suddenly said to the girls: - That guy is really well equipped! (he had no idea about it but just guessed).
They looked at me and giggled. Then the guy started hugging and cuddling with one of the girls. There was a kind of sexiness in the air that I had never experienced before.
After a while he left the cab and there I sat with two strange drunk girls. I'm used to women never looking at me with anything but disgust but the idea of a big cock apparently intrigued them. That's the only way I can interpret it. I didn't know what to do at all. Do they want me to do something? Or are they going to leave now that he doesn't seem to be coming back? My uncertainty almost paralyzed me.
But then something happened that I never, never, never thought would happen to me. One of the girls asked me to bring it out. They giggled and looked at each other. I remember thinking, "Maybe they're just trying to trick me, if I take off my clothes, maybe they'll laugh at me and leave the cab?" But at the same time I thought: “This is a unique opportunity. Just being able to show them my dick would be a bigger deal than anything else I've done"
I pulled my pants down and lay down on the bed. Both girls were helped to pull down their panties. They giggled and looked at each other. I was terrified that my nervousness would keep me from getting hard but I thank my creator (whom I don't believe in) that it started to hard already when one girl grabbed the root and started jerking it off. I could hardly believe it. I was in heaven! Absolutely unimaginable. Her little hand with painted nails gripped my cock tightly and it felt so good I can't describe it. Not just the physical feeling but also the fact that someone is actually doing this without me even asking.
She asked her friend if she wanted to taste it but she said no. Then she did it instead. I still remember the color of her lipstick when she took me in her mouth. Strangely enough, it was no nicer than when she jerked off. Her mouth was warm and wet and visually it was wonderful to see how I filled up her oral cavity. I don't know if her technique was lacking but after a while I felt that I would rather she continued to use her hands.
Her friend left the cab and then she asked me bluntly if I wanted to fuck. I was so hard then that I physically couldn't refuse, but I had never been close to a woman so how would it go? And of course it didn't go well at all.
She pulled down her panties and exposed a small bush between her thighs. I didn't have time to see more before she straddled me. She probably thought I had sex before because initially she made no attempt to bring it in but waited for me. But I didn't know how to do it at all. I pushed it up towards her but had no idea I was anywhere near the hole. After a while she grabbed it but by then I had started to lose my footing. And then it was over. She gave me almost no time at all to try and get it but got off and sat on the bed.
I then saw how drunk she was and I began to realize that she regretted it. She said nothing so I said some pathetic words like "Sorry" and "It was probably the alcohol" but I got no reaction. She left the cab and I never saw her again.What did I get out of this event?
Positive: To experience a woman's hand and mouth around my sex at least once in my single life. Getting jerked off was even nicer than I imagined. The combination of closeness and the physical pleasure. Those were the best minutes of my life.
Negative: That I didn't manage to fuck when I got my only chance. So close yet so far away. The humiliation when I slacked off and her obvious disappointment. And I who had wanted to squirt in her, on her, everywhere. Afterwards, I often fantasize about the exact same situation but with the difference that she managed to ride me. I imagine her moaning loudly, screaming and orgasming with me inside. But when the imagination lets go and I look at my worthless sex, I'm disgusted.
