Simpy this. I know it sounds pretty sad but I don't care that much about having a girlfriend or sex, I simply want to feel worth something when I'm sitting alone in my room. To be able to look in the mirror and think - you know what, I'm worthwhile and I'm good enough for someone. And then do the things I like doing such as playing games and watching films, safe in the knowledge that I am not worthless and if I go out even if a girl looks past me it's not because I'm not good enough because I am.
Instead I go out ANYWHERE and see girls, even the average ones, ugliest, oldest and fattest types, looking right through me at other men like I'm not even there and then when I get home after this I look at my flaws in the mirror for hours on end and think what can I do to fix these? Repeat this 5 days a week for 30+ years and x 10 for the odd weekends when I actually go to bars or clubs which is agony and that is the sum pain of my existence. I imagine a life where my flaws are fixed and I'm good enough for some girls at least.
I have actually resorted to asking my work if I can work from home now which I have been doing and when I go the gym I go very late so that there won't be many people around on the train there to look past me. When I get on the train I keep my head down so I don't see the disgusted looks or the looks past me and I sit at the end facing the wall. When I get off I wait until everyone is off first so I don't have to see females looking through me. This is how shit my life has become.
Instead I go out ANYWHERE and see girls, even the average ones, ugliest, oldest and fattest types, looking right through me at other men like I'm not even there and then when I get home after this I look at my flaws in the mirror for hours on end and think what can I do to fix these? Repeat this 5 days a week for 30+ years and x 10 for the odd weekends when I actually go to bars or clubs which is agony and that is the sum pain of my existence. I imagine a life where my flaws are fixed and I'm good enough for some girls at least.
I have actually resorted to asking my work if I can work from home now which I have been doing and when I go the gym I go very late so that there won't be many people around on the train there to look past me. When I get on the train I keep my head down so I don't see the disgusted looks or the looks past me and I sit at the end facing the wall. When I get off I wait until everyone is off first so I don't have to see females looking through me. This is how shit my life has become.
