Today I was doing school work in the library as usual. While there a lady came up to me and asked if she could use the computer I was on, since I had been fairly inactive on it, only occasionally checking incels.co and looking up a few pointers to help guide my research.
Anyways, I look up at her from my chair, not quite making eye contact and realize that she's pretty. Not really like pretty pretty looking back on it, but she looked to be a 6/10, had a more natural appearance and an overall less imposing demeanour as some of the other women I know. I couldn't even respond. I didn't say a word and just got up from the chair. Then I remembered that she was a foid. That she probably thought of me as subhuman and wanted nothing to do with me.
I searched her face for the tell-tale signs of disgust and contempt but there was none. She just looked at me like I was being a little of a weirdo which I was. A few thoughts went through my head like refusing to let her use the computer out of spite or ignoring and even telling her off for daring to speak to me with the same lips she wrapped around chad's manhood. I just mumbled something incoherent before speaking up a little and saying "No thanks," but I immediately walked away after that so I basically contradicted what I said. I couldn't believe it. I was so fucked up socially it wasn't even funny. How the hell did I end up like this? All I had to do was say sure, and kindly walk away. Why did I have the thoughts I did, why did I react like I did? I wish I could just erase that moment as small as it may seem.
I don't know how to fix this, It's not like I can just talk to people, I don't have the face for that kind of stuff, and I'm very new on this forum, so I don't wanna just start talking to people here, which probably won't even fix my awkwardness in the first place.
I thought I was better than this. It goes to show how distorted your view on your social capabilities become when you don't interact with people frequently.
Anyways, I look up at her from my chair, not quite making eye contact and realize that she's pretty. Not really like pretty pretty looking back on it, but she looked to be a 6/10, had a more natural appearance and an overall less imposing demeanour as some of the other women I know. I couldn't even respond. I didn't say a word and just got up from the chair. Then I remembered that she was a foid. That she probably thought of me as subhuman and wanted nothing to do with me.
I searched her face for the tell-tale signs of disgust and contempt but there was none. She just looked at me like I was being a little of a weirdo which I was. A few thoughts went through my head like refusing to let her use the computer out of spite or ignoring and even telling her off for daring to speak to me with the same lips she wrapped around chad's manhood. I just mumbled something incoherent before speaking up a little and saying "No thanks," but I immediately walked away after that so I basically contradicted what I said. I couldn't believe it. I was so fucked up socially it wasn't even funny. How the hell did I end up like this? All I had to do was say sure, and kindly walk away. Why did I have the thoughts I did, why did I react like I did? I wish I could just erase that moment as small as it may seem.
I don't know how to fix this, It's not like I can just talk to people, I don't have the face for that kind of stuff, and I'm very new on this forum, so I don't wanna just start talking to people here, which probably won't even fix my awkwardness in the first place.
I thought I was better than this. It goes to show how distorted your view on your social capabilities become when you don't interact with people frequently.
