I just escortcelled. AMA + discussion

[rotting-alone]

I'll get all the basic stuff out of the way first

• First time escortcelling. Before that I was just a stripclubcel and lapdancecel.
• I didn't do an incall at some hooker's apartment. I went to one of those "massage parlors" that pretends to be a masseuse place but is actually a brothel. Even the girl told me none of these girls are real massueses lol. It's all just a "front".
• Spent $100 total. There was a $40 room fee and $60 for 30 min with the escort.
• The girl wasn't anything like it was presented on the website. She was old and had wrinkles. Wasn't fat, but definitely very chubby. Tits were big and real but saggy.
• I didn't plan to get naked and was mega-paranoid. But eventually once I felt safe and not like I was gonna get robbed or something I undressed. Didn't even care about my thin body or hairy chest.
• I didn't do PIV sex. I didn't put my dick in a hole at all. I never planned to and I don't feel like I'm ready for that yet. But we did a bunch of other stuff. Sucked her tits, licked my balls, stuff like that. We kissed a fuckton but it wasn't fun. It wasn't slow, sultry, kissing but instead her ramming her mouth on mine and wagging her tongue like a golden retriever. She also tried giving me a handjob, or jacking me off with my dick between her tits. Didn't work because I wasn't hard. More on that below.
• Yeah, dick honestly didn't get hard at all. Could be 2 reasons: 1) girl wasn't hot, and I just wasn't into it or 2) I was just so nervous and fucked up from being naked with a woman for the first ever time that I just couldn't put blood down there
• She licked my balls and then came up to make out with me. WTF. It's nasty-as-fuck if you think about it but honestly I was so nervous and clammy from being naked around another naked girl, I didn't even stop or process it. I made-out with my own ball sweat. Christ.

Did I have fun? No. Not at all. And this could be due to numerous reasons.

1) girl was a 50 yr old hag, and not some prime young blonde
2) I was too nervous and clammy as a first-timer to truly get into it
3) I need escortcelling to feel like an actual girlfriend. Call a hooker over to my house and roll around in bed. This was just one of those tiny massage-tables that was covered in a towel but it was so hard to maneuver or anything.
4) escortcelling is a dumb cope and without the emotional intensity of having a real, sincere, girlfriend trying to fuck you...paid sex is just nothing

If I can't even have fun escortcelling, is sex truly defeated for me? Escortcelling is suppossed to be the ultimate cope: pay for what you can't get naturally. But if it's not fun...that means either ASCENSION or ROPE. No other option.

Either surgerymaxx to Chad. Or rope. It's over.

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

Start grannypornmaxxing and you will enjoy the experience. Not that I approve of degeneracy, but I digress.

 

[acnescarcel]

might be better if she was hot. id say try it one more time with a hot girl

 

[StormlitAqua]

I'm glad you came to the realization that escortcelling is a waste of time. The only way women will Be worth your time is in a monogamous, traditional relationship.

 

[mikepence]

I don't even think I could get low inhib enough to even see a hooker. It's a shame it wasn't too fun for you though.

 

[rotting-alone]

You guys are both right - I fucked up hard by using some 50+ European granny. UGH.

but I was paranoid as fuck and just "went with the flow". Ah well. Next time we go young.

 

[deathgreetsmeslow]

Sounds awful. Go to Japan. And yea you fucked up you can find younger better looking hooker son craigslist.

https://kotaku.com/inside-japans-pleasure-hotels-892099090

 

[Gremlincel]

GREAT now youre going to HELL how do you feel bitch ass sinner

 

[Rice Cel]

Why would you spend that if you knew they were old af? Don't they give you a selection?

 

[lifefuel]

how do you find such places?

 

[torujo]

was that your first time?

 

[rotting-alone]

Why would you spend that if you knew they were old af? Don't they give you a selection?

I fucked up in this regard - I didn't go on the website of the massage parlor (they don't have one). I found this girl's ad on a Backpage alternative where it said she operates out of a massage parlor.

I summoned the guts, withdrew the cash, and took an Uber over to that shady-ass part of town. Went into the place and when I saw the girl part of me went "jesus christ she's a fucking granny". But I had already come all this way and was so fucking paranoid I just went with it.

I force-fed myself a shit turd because I didn't properly evaluate the restaurant or stay composed.

was that your first time?

Yeah.

 

[Haywire]

You said you didnt get hard how long was your last fap before going there? Is this legal where you are?

 

[rotting-alone]

how do you find such places?

I only know how to find them for Ontario, Canada. If you're in that area I'll PM you a link.

You said you didnt get hard how long was your last fap before going there? Is this legal where you are?

No, not legal because it's a fucking BROTHEL and those are only legal in Vegas. But it's like marijuana. Illegal, but everyone does it and cops know everyone does it and noone gives a fuck.

It just looks and presents itself like a massage parlour but you don't get a fucking massage there. You close the door, talk to the girl and work out services/pricing and then do your thing.

My last fap was last night. May 28th at around 11pm.

 

[imbored21]

You need a gfe escort.

 

[Givingup20]

50! you should have got it for free damn
In the UK escorts are actually quite hot but i'm too high inhib right now

 

[Haywire]

sucks you didn't get a blowjob or able to fuck her. i feel disappointed for you.

 

[Klanazi]

I'll get all the basic stuff out of the way first

• First time escortcelling. Before that I was just a stripclubcel and lapdancecel.
• I didn't do an incall at some hooker's apartment. I went to one of those "massage parlors" that pretends to be a masseuse place but is actually a brothel. Even the girl told me none of these girls are real massueses lol. It's all just a "front".
• Spent $100 total. There was a $40 room fee and $60 for 30 min with the escort.
• The girl wasn't anything like it was presented on the website. She was old and had wrinkles. Wasn't fat, but definitely very chubby. Tits were big and real but saggy.
• I didn't plan to get naked and was mega-paranoid. But eventually once I felt safe and not like I was gonna get robbed or something I undressed. Didn't even care about my thin body or hairy chest.
• I didn't do PIV sex. I didn't put my dick in a hole at all. I never planned to and I don't feel like I'm ready for that yet. But we did a bunch of other stuff. Sucked her tits, licked my balls, stuff like that. We kissed a fuckton but it wasn't fun. It wasn't slow, sultry, kissing but instead her ramming her mouth on mine and wagging her tongue like a golden retriever. She also tried giving me a handjob, or jacking me off with my dick between her tits. Didn't work because I wasn't hard. More on that below.
• Yeah, dick honestly didn't get hard at all. Could be 2 reasons: 1) girl wasn't hot, and I just wasn't into it or 2) I was just so nervous and fucked up from being naked with a woman for the first ever time that I just couldn't put blood down there
• She licked my balls and then came up to make out with me. WTF. It's nasty-as-fuck if you think about it but honestly I was so nervous and clammy from being naked around another naked girl, I didn't even stop or process it. I made-out with my own ball sweat. Christ.

Did I have fun? No. Not at all. And this could be due to numerous reasons.

1) girl was a 50 yr old hag, and not some prime young blonde
2) I was too nervous and clammy as a first-timer to truly get into it
3) I need escortcelling to feel like an actual girlfriend. Call a hooker over to my house and roll around in bed. This was just one of those tiny massage-tables that was covered in a towel but it was so hard to maneuver or anything.
4) escortcelling is a dumb cope and without the emotional intensity of having a real, sincere, girlfriend trying to fuck you...paid sex is just nothing

If I can't even have fun escortcelling, is sex truly defeated for me? Escortcelling is suppossed to be the ultimate cope: pay for what you can't get naturally. But if it's not fun...that means either ASCENSION or ROPE. No other option.

Either surgerymaxx to Chad. Or rope. It's over.

Just close your eyes and you can pretend its whoever you want

 

[Firefly]

Didn't I tell you not to go to escorts?
Stop being stupid guys

 

[ordinaryotaku]

might be better if she was hot. id say try it one more time with a hot girl

^This. I can't get hard to any girl under 35.

 

[Short Straw]

I'll get all the basic stuff out of the way first

• First time escortcelling. Before that I was just a stripclubcel and lapdancecel.
• I didn't do an incall at some hooker's apartment. I went to one of those "massage parlors" that pretends to be a masseuse place but is actually a brothel. Even the girl told me none of these girls are real massueses lol. It's all just a "front".
• Spent $100 total. There was a $40 room fee and $60 for 30 min with the escort.
• The girl wasn't anything like it was presented on the website. She was old and had wrinkles. Wasn't fat, but definitely very chubby. Tits were big and real but saggy.
• I didn't plan to get naked and was mega-paranoid. But eventually once I felt safe and not like I was gonna get robbed or something I undressed. Didn't even care about my thin body or hairy chest.
• I didn't do PIV sex. I didn't put my dick in a hole at all. I never planned to and I don't feel like I'm ready for that yet. But we did a bunch of other stuff. Sucked her tits, licked my balls, stuff like that. We kissed a fuckton but it wasn't fun. It wasn't slow, sultry, kissing but instead her ramming her mouth on mine and wagging her tongue like a golden retriever. She also tried giving me a handjob, or jacking me off with my dick between her tits. Didn't work because I wasn't hard. More on that below.
• Yeah, dick honestly didn't get hard at all. Could be 2 reasons: 1) girl wasn't hot, and I just wasn't into it or 2) I was just so nervous and fucked up from being naked with a woman for the first ever time that I just couldn't put blood down there
• She licked my balls and then came up to make out with me. WTF. It's nasty-as-fuck if you think about it but honestly I was so nervous and clammy from being naked around another naked girl, I didn't even stop or process it. I made-out with my own ball sweat. Christ.

Did I have fun? No. Not at all. And this could be due to numerous reasons.

1) girl was a 50 yr old hag, and not some prime young blonde
2) I was too nervous and clammy as a first-timer to truly get into it
3) I need escortcelling to feel like an actual girlfriend. Call a hooker over to my house and roll around in bed. This was just one of those tiny massage-tables that was covered in a towel but it was so hard to maneuver or anything.
4) escortcelling is a dumb cope and without the emotional intensity of having a real, sincere, girlfriend trying to fuck you...paid sex is just nothing

If I can't even have fun escortcelling, is sex truly defeated for me? Escortcelling is suppossed to be the ultimate cope: pay for what you can't get naturally. But if it's not fun...that means either ASCENSION or ROPE. No other option.

Either surgerymaxx to Chad. Or rope. It's over.

Jesus Christ, I wish it would have been a better experience for you.

 

[masterwizard]

ED from nerves is extremely common, you arent the first guy to be visited by the melty man. You can take a few measures as follows:

1) No orgasming for at least 3 days prior
2) Stop masturbating to porn entirely for several weeks or months (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction or PIED is very real).
3) Drink some pomegranite juice, it has lots of nitric oxide which aids achieving boner and has lots of antioxidants which is a side benefit.
4) Get some Cialis (similar to Viagra) etc. Not even needed in most cases, but it can be a comforting re-assurance, taking it will help prevent performance anxiety.
5) Understand that stress involves neural pathways that inhibit erections. Stressing out about whether or not you will get a boner is going to prevent you getting a boner. Try to adopt a mindset of "if it happens, it happens" instead of "I MUST get an erection".

The first two are the most important, the rest are worth doing as well.

 

[rotting-alone]

You need a gfe escort.

Wasn't she GFE? I thought GFE is when they kiss you and cuddle you? This girl was happy to do that. Not saying it was fun, just saying she wasn't the "no kissing" type.

ED from nerves is extremely common, you arent the first guy to be visited by the melty man. You can take a few measures as follows:

1) No orgasming for at least 3 days prior
2) Stop masturbating to porn entirely for several weeks or months (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction or PIED is very real).
3) Drink some pomegranite juice, it has lots of nitric oxide which aids achieving boner and has lots of antioxidants which is a side benefit.
4) Get some Cialis (similar to Viagra) etc. Not even needed in most cases, but it can be a comforting re-assurance, taking it will help prevent performance anxiety.
5) Understand that stress involves neural pathways that inhibit erections. Stressing out about whether or not you will get a boner is going to prevent you getting a boner. Try to adopt a mindset of "if it happens, it happens" instead of "I MUST get an erection".

The first two are the most important, the rest are worth doing as well.

High IQ post. You really know your stuff. Thank you.

50! you should have got it for free damn
In the UK escorts are actually quite hot but i'm too high inhib right now

They are hot over here too...I just really, really, really, fucked up. See post #12 in this thread.

 

[Givingup20]

ED from nerves is extremely common, you arent the first guy to be visited by the melty man. You can take a few measures as follows:

1) No orgasming for at least 3 days prior
2) Stop masturbating to porn entirely for several weeks or months (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction or PIED is very real).
3) Drink some pomegranite juice, it has lots of nitric oxide which aids achieving boner and has lots of antioxidants which is a side benefit.
4) Get some Cialis (similar to Viagra) etc. Not even needed in most cases, but it can be a comforting re-assurance, taking it will help prevent performance anxiety.
5) Understand that stress involves neural pathways that inhibit erections. Stressing out about whether or not you will get a boner is going to prevent you getting a boner. Try to adopt a mindset of "if it happens, it happens" instead of "I MUST get an erection".

The first two are the most important, the rest are worth doing as well.

Very good points but don't forget if he wasn't physically attracted to her than these may not have made much of a difference

 

[lifefuel]

It's not legal in Vegas iirc only certain parts of Nevada.

 

[Evil Genius]

Why didn't you just fuck her lmao?

What is wrong with you? their wet hole is the only thing femoids are good for.

 

[Angry_runt]

So I was hungry but I had nothing to eat at home so I decided to eat out. I went to a 7-11 and got a rancid 3 day old hot dog. It was gross and I just had a few bites.

Conclusion: eating out sucks.

 

[lesbianwalrus]

You need a gfe escort.

Is this really a thing? Cuz it sounds like a good idea.

 

[Deleted member 677]

Bitch was a 50 yr old hag

 

[lesbianwalrus]

OP, it sounds like you really need to nofap before escortceling. You should've left upon realizing you were in a brothel and returned after at least a week of nofap.

 

[rotting-alone]

OP, it sounds like you really need to nofap before escortceling. You should've left upon realizing you were in a brothel and returned after at least a week of nofap.

I knew I was going into a brothel long before I went. Where else do you find escorts in one public building?

I do agree on the NoFap thing, though.

NoFap + Hotter escort = a good escortcelling experience

A shame my first one was so shitty. And I'm not rich enough to blow $100 cash again trying to escortcel. Gotta wait a month at least.

 

[EthnicelNL]

This is the best thread ive read here so far. Good luck OP...hopefully next time u go a step further

 

[rotting-alone]

Why didn't you just fuck her lmao?

Did you even read the thread?

1) it was my first ever time getting naked with a woman. I wasn't ready to fuck and go all the way. That was never the plan. The plan was always to just do other sexual shit. Suck tits, get my balls sucked, etc.

2) I couldn't get hard. At all. How the fuck do you have sex with a pussy with a limp dick?

3) I'd rather not risk STDs and shit like that

4) She wasn't attractive. At all. I'm still REELING and tramautized when I replay kissing her. If I fucked her I would be suicidal or blading myself right now. I ran home and fucking used a shitton of Colgate Mouthwash just to clear it out. It didn't help. I can't even eat anything or even drink milk right now. My mind is fucking damaged from kissing a 50 yr old granny. Imagine how bad it would be had I fucked her.

 

[KyloRen]

Small steps, my friend. Too bad you aren't on a good career path, that way you could afford good looking, high-end, women.

 

[Evil Genius]

I thought you would be happy since according to you nobody should be allowed to bang girls below the age of 40.

 

[PleaseKillMeLoseSkin]

You gotta give it time, the first escort I went to I told her I was a virgin and she took it real slow and made sex noises.

 

[Deleted member 677]

I thought you would be happy since according to you nobody should be allowed to bang girls below the age of 40.

Lol just because I don't condone the idea of face-fucking your 4-year-old daughter you have to exaggerate to that? Nice.

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

Lol just because I don't condone the idea of face-fucking your 4-year-old daughter you have to exaggerate to that? Nice.

You're sick.

 

[whogivesafucc]

why even get a hooker???????

i seriously don't get this. just buy a sex doll. at least it probably feels slightly realistic and you can do whatever you want to it and you don't have to pay 1 million dollars for 5 minutes of crappy sex.

 

[ArtoriasWolf]

Hasn't faceandlms been with over 100 escorts? That must be over a few thousand dollars worth.

 

[RageAgainstTDL]

Dude that's not really fair. This is what you get for wanting the cheapest experience money can buy and not planning ahead.

Fucking a top tier hooker once or twice a year would beat fucking a gross granny 50 times a year.

If you're gonna do it do it right. This is like fishing a hamburger out of a dumster in an alley and then being convinced because it's gross that all burgers are shit.

Your experience of hookers:

A potentially good experience:

Are these remotely comparable dining experiences? Well why would you expect different from hookers?

 

[IncelmaBinHardon]

When it comes to escortcelling, it's all about finding the right one. Sounds obvious and I know it isn't easy in some places. But it's worth the effort and the money. The up side of this visit is at least you have a taste of what it's like to be with a woman. Albeit one old enough to be your grandmother

 

[Robtical]

Don't throw out the 50 year old hag with the bath water, you haven't tried thailand yet.

 

[Incelibate anarchist]

We shouldnt support vile degeneracy like this.

 

[The End]

I hope you don't get banned for "bragging". *rolls eyes at the ludicrous decisions mods make sometimes*

This somewhat mirrors my own experiences. It's weird that it's difficult to have successful sex the first time out.

 

[NijuGMD]

Sounds awful. Go to Japan. And yea you fucked up you can find younger better looking hooker son craigslist.

https://kotaku.com/inside-japans-pleasure-hotels-892099090

Japanese brothels are closed to foreigners.

 

[rotting-alone]

We shouldnt support vile degeneracy like this.

Fuck off. Not every incel has to be a puritan monk faggot like you.

 

[justenditall]

I thought GFE is when they kiss you and cuddle you? This girl was happy to do that.

kissing and cuddling an old hag who could be your grandma?
this all sounds so surreal and grotesque

 

[Izayacel]

Why didn't you just fuck her lmao?

What is wrong with you? their wet hole is the only thing femoids are good for.

this, relationshits are just an act, to get you dry, cancel it out after 3 weeks - 1 month, these shits cant love like we do