I LDARed before. But it was in periods of that then periods of activity when I tried to do things, keep my self engaged through various copes and tasks. Still very pessimistic and aware of little to no chances, but an attempt was made to try to find some fleeting joy in small things. Now even that is gone. I have no energy anymore to do anything, I am in bed all day, do nothing on the computer or whatever, try to game, but then just realize that its pointless without even thinking a thought and going back to bed because I am exhausted and tired, often just being locked inside my apartment for days at a time. My genes did this to me. This happened because I was not born tall and attractive with a big divk. Just a small subhuman under the average height with a small subhuman dicklet, ugly genes, and Osteoarthritis, and I'm 29 and struggled with my bones and joints for years. So fucking juvenile Osteoarthritis. My mother was a fucking retard for not breeding with her chad ex, and instead with my ratfaced manlet father who look like a potatofaced Gordon Freeman with no chin.
