Starting from the beginning I was always bulled for being fat and autistic but at least in elementary school it was just by other boys who I would just end up fighting which luckily my father said that it was okay because I was "standing up for myself." This all took a turn when I entered middle school and it shifted to where I was fine with other boys but was constantly being made fun of because of my weight as I ended up getting to 200lbs in middle school even having some girl who slapped my ass randomly in class. She even made a fucking comment saying my ass jiggled and I know for damn sure that if the roles were reversed I would have been brutalized for being a "misogynistic rapist evil horrible person" as a 13 year old boy but because it was her that did it I just had to let it go. Later in high school I got active in wrestling because I was convinced to join and it finally gave me something to do other than be depressed and do drugs all the time. At this time I was 165lbs and taller but still could be considered overweight. Because of this and the hatred that women seem to have for innocent, kind, socially awkward boys, I was walking past this guy I knew form the team and he was with his bitch whore "big titty goth gf" and her friend asked him after I had walked past but loud enough to hear "Are wrestlers supposed to be fat?" after I waved at him and he told them he knew me from the wrestling team. Because of my horrible relationship with women and socially anxiety I just walked away feeling like I had been kicked in the teeth. This didn't stop at school as my sister has always seemed to hate my guts arguing with me every time she can and she even uses me being autistic as a way to annoy me even further and torment me. Because of all this bullying from girls my whole life and my strained relationship with my mother as she, for my whole life, has always been busy with work, leaving home often for work trips. This left me often being raised by nannies and I even had a nanny that would try to be in the same room as me whenever I were to be naked (only time a woman ever wanted to see me fml). My father was the only person I felt close to at all as he seemed to actually value the things I was interested and even built a call of duty tank with me when I was a kid. This was torn from me when he died leaving me truly alone. This is perpetuated further as everyone my age is a liberal faggot who uses virtue signaling to get girls who think they are actually doing anything by advocating for whatever political movement is popular at the time. I no longer have anything as I spend my days on the computer in my room doing drugs usually to make my life more entertaining, the rare times I leave my room is usually only to eat or work out once every week as I no longer really care at all just doing it to feel like I am staying true to the hopeful kid who thought if he just worked hard enough a girl would appreciate the person he is and maybe give him a chance. At this point my brain is too rotted from doing LSD constantly for 4 years and all the other shit I've put in my body. I honestly just want to do something with my life and I feel like the only way I can is by making a big "statement" that would represent my opinions on how men who have trouble getting women and who are often ND. making it ironic as the left pretend to want to help people with mental issues except they mean only the women who fake it for attention lol. I want to die before I'm 20 so I can at least be young enough so that if they put my picture on the news maybe some attention seeking whore could pretend to want me but only after I'm dead lolll.
