It's my birthday today, my 18th birthday. And I wanted to vent as my first post and probably my last thread I make, I don't do elaborate studies about foids cuz it's just has been over for me since the beginning and I'd rather just tell something about my life to see if anyone can relate.
I never really had a close relationship with my dad, I always felt awkward around him and I never talked much. Reason for that might be that he used to beat me over school grades or shit that I did wrong until I was 13-14 or so, I grew up afraid of him. And even then I idolized him, he's a handsome guy even to this day, he got old now so he's way out of his prime, but when he was younger he looked like a mix of Patrick Swayze and Val Kilmer, absolute chad. And I HATED it, I still do, I hate that I could never be like him, he was the man of the house (he doesn't live with me anymore he cheated on my mother), fixed everything, knew about everything about cars and had a tool for any kind of need the household would have. I'm nothing like that, he was popular at school, had at least three or four girlfriends before he married my mother at age 24 I think, he has always been an object of desire to foids around him and a respectable figure for how honest and capable he is.
But here I am, unfortunately he married my mom and had me, I'm nothing like him, I didn't get a single characteristic of his. I'm shorter, I'm uglier, I was a dork at school, I'm not an athlete, my life's shit. I have lost the genetic lottery in every single aspect of my biology and I have no desire to keep living, my only reason to be here is that I'm too afraid to ropemaxx and I still have a bit of hope for some reason. My mom treats me like shit ever since my dad left her, it's been four years now.
He still sees me sometimes and talks to me, though it's always a monologue, I rarely speak and engage in conversation properly. I just can't help but wish I could live just a day in his shoes, to feel how great it'd be to be respected. I feel like I was robbed, I was meant to be great, but he decided to marry an average woman and fucked up my chances of being like him, and now I have to live like this. I despise her and myself deeply.
And that's about it, my life's not that interesting, I just wanted to put that out.
I never really had a close relationship with my dad, I always felt awkward around him and I never talked much. Reason for that might be that he used to beat me over school grades or shit that I did wrong until I was 13-14 or so, I grew up afraid of him. And even then I idolized him, he's a handsome guy even to this day, he got old now so he's way out of his prime, but when he was younger he looked like a mix of Patrick Swayze and Val Kilmer, absolute chad. And I HATED it, I still do, I hate that I could never be like him, he was the man of the house (he doesn't live with me anymore he cheated on my mother), fixed everything, knew about everything about cars and had a tool for any kind of need the household would have. I'm nothing like that, he was popular at school, had at least three or four girlfriends before he married my mother at age 24 I think, he has always been an object of desire to foids around him and a respectable figure for how honest and capable he is.
But here I am, unfortunately he married my mom and had me, I'm nothing like him, I didn't get a single characteristic of his. I'm shorter, I'm uglier, I was a dork at school, I'm not an athlete, my life's shit. I have lost the genetic lottery in every single aspect of my biology and I have no desire to keep living, my only reason to be here is that I'm too afraid to ropemaxx and I still have a bit of hope for some reason. My mom treats me like shit ever since my dad left her, it's been four years now.
He still sees me sometimes and talks to me, though it's always a monologue, I rarely speak and engage in conversation properly. I just can't help but wish I could live just a day in his shoes, to feel how great it'd be to be respected. I feel like I was robbed, I was meant to be great, but he decided to marry an average woman and fucked up my chances of being like him, and now I have to live like this. I despise her and myself deeply.
And that's about it, my life's not that interesting, I just wanted to put that out.
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