01/25/2025
Back in high school there was a foid that approached me and pretended to be my friend, she made it look like she was into me. She would compliment the clothes, Versace cologne that I wore and we talked a lot. She would even do my school chores like cleaning the cafeteria sink. I really loved her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and always helped her the best I could. I would give her the answer keys to her work and she’ll always get an A+ (yes, I even couldn’t do shit without cheating). During lunch I always brought a water bottle full of pure tequila and we would get drunk together. I also drank by myself during every period, it was disgusting and unpleasant, but it sure helped us get through the day. I loved her so much, every morning I would wait for her in the hallway to give her some weed and money to buy other drugs. Back then I was a bluepilled turecel and didn’t even know it, I didn’t know anything about incels, blackpill, redpill and such. A month later she started talking to another guy, he was like 6’3, jacked, blond, curly hair, very ugly. She got his number and would rarely spent time with me, whenever she did she would invite him and her female friends to the table and tell me that she speaks to other guys and even to ones out of state. She would even text them in front of me and her friend would bring over a Chromebook and look they would look at different men together, then they would ask me if I’m in a relationship, I said “no”, and I was very disappointed with her. Some time passed by and we slowly distanced from each other. One day she randomly asked me what kind of pictures I had on my phone, I didn’t answer her. She said she was very concerned about me sending nudes to women because I can get in big trouble for that. Then she started telling me that my face is ugly and that I’m short because I’m only 5’9 and not over 6ft and for that I’m considered very ugly. She’s my height even I’m a bit taller, she never let us take a selfie together and I never asked what’s on her phone or anything about the men she’s talking to so she has no right to ask what’s on mine! Later she posted on Instagram that without her I will always be a scummy incel and that’s what I will always be. She never gave me her social media profiles, but I had my ways of finding them. Everyone in school saw that post and people were making fun of me, even the teacher started calling me a spoiled brat in front of everyone. I decided to drop out of school, but unfortunately for me I was on parol and my bitch mom made up stuff and got me send in a mental hospital for a week and did my school work so I can graduate. I got a diploma and ripped it up immediately and I never needed that shit. I have no respect for my mom and hate her like I hate every woman. I had to grow up alone because my family was dysfunctional and I never had father just a mom I hated my entire life and she always called me a failure. Months passed by and the foid unexpectedly messaged me asking if she could hang out with me and I agreed. When we met she said she’ll give me a 5 second hug, but I will need to pay her $400 and not press my body against her boobs, I agreed not because I love her, but because I wanted to know what it’s like to hug a girl. She gave me that hug and it felt like the best 5 seconds of my life and I immediately handed over the $400. Money was never a problem for me, now I somewhat regret doing it because nothing changed and I still feel like a truecel even worse. Later we went to the beach and she told me how happy she was that her step sister and her friend passed in a car crash. Later she told me she broke up with that 6’3 blond guy because he was wired, he made posters of her saying how much he loves her and hung them in his room. We spent a few hours talking about random thing and then she got picked up by her step dad and that was the last time I saw her. 2 years late I checked her Instagram and found out she when to Michigan and met some guy who she got married to, and moved back to my stare with him. It’s been 4 years now and not a day goes by where I don’t think about her, everyday I search her name hoping I will read some article that she has passed somehow. Lately I haven’t been sleeping well, I’ve been prescribed Temazepam to help me sleep and Lexapro during the day to help with my depression, but they haven’t been doing much and I can’t stop thinking about all this. I haven’t cleaned my house or vacuumed important spaces for 4 years+, just rarely clean spaces I use frequently like my room and kitchen. I’ve lost complete contact with my family and I will never speak to them again because they’re bluepillers that treat me like a small child. I have no energy or motivation even if I sleep for 14+ hours. I’ve lost interest in everything, I’m just livin' day to day.
Below is a Valentine's Day note she wrote and a keychain she made for me later, also some messages she send me back then. I have what she wrote about me on Instagram, just need to find it and I’ll make a new post.
Back in high school there was a foid that approached me and pretended to be my friend, she made it look like she was into me. She would compliment the clothes, Versace cologne that I wore and we talked a lot. She would even do my school chores like cleaning the cafeteria sink. I really loved her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and always helped her the best I could. I would give her the answer keys to her work and she’ll always get an A+ (yes, I even couldn’t do shit without cheating). During lunch I always brought a water bottle full of pure tequila and we would get drunk together. I also drank by myself during every period, it was disgusting and unpleasant, but it sure helped us get through the day. I loved her so much, every morning I would wait for her in the hallway to give her some weed and money to buy other drugs. Back then I was a bluepilled turecel and didn’t even know it, I didn’t know anything about incels, blackpill, redpill and such. A month later she started talking to another guy, he was like 6’3, jacked, blond, curly hair, very ugly. She got his number and would rarely spent time with me, whenever she did she would invite him and her female friends to the table and tell me that she speaks to other guys and even to ones out of state. She would even text them in front of me and her friend would bring over a Chromebook and look they would look at different men together, then they would ask me if I’m in a relationship, I said “no”, and I was very disappointed with her. Some time passed by and we slowly distanced from each other. One day she randomly asked me what kind of pictures I had on my phone, I didn’t answer her. She said she was very concerned about me sending nudes to women because I can get in big trouble for that. Then she started telling me that my face is ugly and that I’m short because I’m only 5’9 and not over 6ft and for that I’m considered very ugly. She’s my height even I’m a bit taller, she never let us take a selfie together and I never asked what’s on her phone or anything about the men she’s talking to so she has no right to ask what’s on mine! Later she posted on Instagram that without her I will always be a scummy incel and that’s what I will always be. She never gave me her social media profiles, but I had my ways of finding them. Everyone in school saw that post and people were making fun of me, even the teacher started calling me a spoiled brat in front of everyone. I decided to drop out of school, but unfortunately for me I was on parol and my bitch mom made up stuff and got me send in a mental hospital for a week and did my school work so I can graduate. I got a diploma and ripped it up immediately and I never needed that shit. I have no respect for my mom and hate her like I hate every woman. I had to grow up alone because my family was dysfunctional and I never had father just a mom I hated my entire life and she always called me a failure. Months passed by and the foid unexpectedly messaged me asking if she could hang out with me and I agreed. When we met she said she’ll give me a 5 second hug, but I will need to pay her $400 and not press my body against her boobs, I agreed not because I love her, but because I wanted to know what it’s like to hug a girl. She gave me that hug and it felt like the best 5 seconds of my life and I immediately handed over the $400. Money was never a problem for me, now I somewhat regret doing it because nothing changed and I still feel like a truecel even worse. Later we went to the beach and she told me how happy she was that her step sister and her friend passed in a car crash. Later she told me she broke up with that 6’3 blond guy because he was wired, he made posters of her saying how much he loves her and hung them in his room. We spent a few hours talking about random thing and then she got picked up by her step dad and that was the last time I saw her. 2 years late I checked her Instagram and found out she when to Michigan and met some guy who she got married to, and moved back to my stare with him. It’s been 4 years now and not a day goes by where I don’t think about her, everyday I search her name hoping I will read some article that she has passed somehow. Lately I haven’t been sleeping well, I’ve been prescribed Temazepam to help me sleep and Lexapro during the day to help with my depression, but they haven’t been doing much and I can’t stop thinking about all this. I haven’t cleaned my house or vacuumed important spaces for 4 years+, just rarely clean spaces I use frequently like my room and kitchen. I’ve lost complete contact with my family and I will never speak to them again because they’re bluepillers that treat me like a small child. I have no energy or motivation even if I sleep for 14+ hours. I’ve lost interest in everything, I’m just livin' day to day.
4everDark
Below is a Valentine's Day note she wrote and a keychain she made for me later, also some messages she send me back then. I have what she wrote about me on Instagram, just need to find it and I’ll make a new post.
