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i get way more depressed when i go outside and see women

fullofchagrin

fullofchagrin

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it hurts so bad, the past year or so whenever i go outside and see women i get just broken. i guess when i don't leave my house, my body kind of forgets the need for love, but when i go outside and see women i am reminded of it. when i get home i masturbate to try to get rid of the sadness but it doesn't help because it's not about horniness it's the loneliness.

today i had a doctor appointment, she was young and pretty, i felt like a man dying of thirst staring at water but not able to drink it. i am at my core a very peaceful verson, i am totally against any kind of suffering, i believe every life of every species is equal, but because of my circumstances i realize that the only way to make this world a little more just is by punishing the privileged apathetic people who live in bliss and drag them into the shithole that everybody else is living in. whenever i go outside i dream of having a gun and shooting everyone dead. why can they be happy when i am literally burning in hell? it is unfair. they don't care about me. if i was in their place i would care so much. the only way to make this just is to make them suffer like i do. but unfortunately, justice is not real...
 

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