I have a decent paying job and mostly surrounded by boomer men in a machine shop but I can barely relate to them. I can't relate to my peers. I can't relate to the couples walking down the street. everyday I pass by a huddle of homeless guys and I haven't spoken to them but I feel closer to them than anyone in "functional" society. two of them look miserable the rest look drugged out and I feel like I could slip into that state over a weekend and I'd not regret it. I feel closer to these men than people who have goals and ambitions and something to look forward to in their future. The only empathy stemming from a vague shared experience is toward the homeless. I don't have a painkiller prescription that would make me addicted to opioids or a mental health prescription that would hook me to benzos but I already resonate with these drugs which I've never tired. I want to go numb and just be in a drugged state my life would unironically be good till I die from the rot.
