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SuicideFuel I don't want to be hateful but I can't help it

Stupid Clown

Stupid Clown

Everything burns
-
Joined
Nov 29, 2022
Posts
14,463
I truly do miss the days when I was six years old. Despite some bullying those were the only days I ever had friends or a social life and back then I remember viewing life in a much more optimistic lense. I was happy so there was no room for hate. Now however after years of torment and bullying at the hands of normies and foids I can't help but hate. It's subconscious. Even if I try to gaslight myself into being less hateful cruelty is inflicted upon me and I collapse back into it.


I don't want it to be this way. I don't want to constantly experience hatred. It combined with being completely and utterly alone makes me feel like I'm in hell. Isolated from love or any basic human experiences, trapped with my burning hatred and despair.

It hurts so much.
 
Its over and everything burns
 
we forced to be this way, because we learned the truth. regardless of what any normalfag says
 
we forced to be this way, because we learned the truth. regardless of what any normalfag says
You know it’s over for us when we have to call normal people normal fags

Brutal
 
Bro just hate online but don’t do it irl, that’s how I’m able to get it off
 
Romantic love doesn't exist for incels so neither can platonic love too.
 
Over for me, i read this post with your Joker imitation voice
 
I want to be hateful and I'm good at it
 
Ignorance is truly bliss
 
If you are ugly and you constantly get treated like a dirty subhuman, you will eventually get bitter and angry.

You will become a worse person if nothing is ever good in your life and if everything is bad. If you have nothing good in your life to look forward to...
 
revenge is the only appropriate antidote. I seem to be getting closer by the day....
 
Convert to Judaism, find the truth.✡️
May god help you
 
I truly do miss the days when I was six years old. Despite some bullying those were the only days I ever had friends or a social life and back then I remember viewing life in a much more optimistic lense. I was happy so there was no room for hate. Now however after years of torment and bullying at the hands of normies and foids I can't help but hate. It's subconscious. Even if I try to gaslight myself into being less hateful cruelty is inflicted upon me and I collapse back into it.


I don't want it to be this way. I don't want to constantly experience hatred. It combined with being completely and utterly alone makes me feel like I'm in hell. Isolated from love or any basic human experiences, trapped with my burning hatred and despair.

It hurts so much.
Reasons why I love cats and dogs so much is that they give you bliss and love atleast get a pet Brocel, I can relate to a lot of what you wrote from my similar experiences as I share with you the same hatred that I have for humanity it sucks how we as humans treat each other
 
Reasons why I love cats and dogs so much is that they give you bliss and love atleast get a pet Brocel
Ngl I mostly pet my cat out of pity and obligation, petting it usually feels like a chore.
 
Yeah, I miss being a young child for the same reasons. I had a somewhat decent life back then and wasn't treated like garbage. I was blissfully unaware of the suffering to come and was at peace back then. I didn't hate either because I didn't have a reason then. I also slept well and woke up feeling great. I wake up around 1-3 times each night now and feel brutally exhausted when waking up. After so many years of ostracism, bullying, and depression, the damage is done and there is no way to get that optimism back. Here's one of my most brutal stories of ostracism. I was in 9th grade in a class of around 30 students. The teacher assigned a group project and mandated we get in groups or 3-4 people. In 30 seconds around 8-10 groups formed and I was the only one left out. I walked around asking each group if I could join, but they all made up some dumbass excuse why they couldn't let me in. After a couple humiliating minutes, the teacher saw that I was failing miserably and assigned me to a random group. They hated me and treated me like an intruder. I hated every second I had to work with them. Fuck this world.
 
Yeah, I miss being a young child for the same reasons. I had a somewhat decent life back then and wasn't treated like garbage. I was blissfully unaware of the suffering to come and was at peace back then. I didn't hate either because I didn't have a reason then. I also slept well and woke up feeling great. I wake up around 1-3 times each night now and feel brutally exhausted when waking up. After so many years of ostracism, bullying, and depression, the damage is done and there is no way to get that optimism back. Here's one of my most brutal stories of ostracism. I was in 9th grade in a class of around 30 students. The teacher assigned a group project and mandated we get in groups or 3-4 people. In 30 seconds around 8-10 groups formed and I was the only one left out. I walked around asking each group if I could join, but they all made up some dumbass excuse why they couldn't let me in. After a couple humiliating minutes, the teacher saw that I was failing miserably and assigned me to a random group. They hated me and treated me like an intruder. I hated every second I had to work with them. Fuck this world.
Me too man. I hung out with almost no one outside of school when I was in school just bullying, and being ostracized by my classmates. What hurt me the most was that no one showed up to my graduation party so I blocked my backstabbing classmates after the party was over it was embarrassing
 
1717496225778
 
Me too man. I hung out with almost no one outside of school when I was in school just bullying, and being ostracized by my classmates. What hurt me the most was that no one showed up to my graduation party so I blocked my backstabbing classmates after the party was over it was embarrassing
Brutal bro. The only ones at my graduation party were my family. I had no friends to come, no girlfriend, just my immediate family and some extended family. I’m glad I had my family there, but it hurts that I had no peer friendships or a girlfriend.
 
Brutal bro. The only ones at my graduation party were my family. I had no friends to come, no girlfriend, just my immediate family and some extended family. I’m glad I had my family there, but it hurts that I had no peer friendships or a girlfriend.
Normies are the fucking worse bro. Family are always the best
 
Normies are the fucking worse bro. Family are always the best
Yep. My family was always amazing to me. Sadly, most of them are getting old and starting to die off. My father was always my best friend who I did cool car projects and work on our cabin with and he just passed away last Thursday at 69 years old. I’m only 19. It was so brutal losing one of the only people that ever cared about me.
 
Do you act hateful In real life or just online.
What I mean is does your hate actually translate to actions or how you interact with people in real life?
 
Me too man. I hung out with almost no one outside of school when I was in school just bullying, and being ostracized by my classmates. What hurt me the most was that no one showed up to my graduation party so I blocked my backstabbing classmates after the party was over it was embarrassing
Why did you think to host a graduation party?
 
Yep. My family was always amazing to me. Sadly, most of them are getting old and starting to die off. My father was always my best friend who I did cool car projects and work on our cabin with and he just passed away last Thursday at 69 years old. I’m only 19. It was so brutal losing one of the only people that ever cared about me.
What about your mom?
 
Why did you think to host a graduation party?
My mom forced me to invite people just because she's alot more charismatic then me and thinks I'm as friendly as her. I hated most of my classmates so I only invited the once who I best got along with and to this day those backstabbers didn't come and I ended up blocking them and my group of friends are all gone and I only talk to 1 person from school it's depressing
 
What about your mom?
She’s still around luckily and I’m close with her as well. My dad was the one I did all the fun hobbies with though, so now I have nobody to enjoy that stuff with. I still do all the same stuff myself, but it’s not the same without him. My mother doesn’t have much interest in cars.
 
She’s still around luckily and I’m close with her as well. My dad was the one I did all the fun hobbies with though, so now I have nobody to enjoy that stuff with. I still do all the same stuff myself, but it’s not the same without him. My mother doesn’t have much interest in cars.
What about like siblings or cousins?
 
Hate is the only reason I’m still alive
 
What about like siblings or cousins?
My only sibling, my half brother, died 4 years before I was born at age 21 in a car crash. My cousins all live too far away to meet regularly as well. It’s just me and my mother in the house now, and my grandfather lives by himself in a house a couple blocks away from ours. My uncle also lives fairly close and is only like 2 miles away. It’s basically just me, my mom, grandfather, and uncle now. The rest are all distant relatives. My grandfather is too old to do much anymore. My uncle might go to car shows and stuff with me, but he doesn’t have the mechanical knowledge my father and I do and can’t help with car repairs.
 
My only sibling, my half brother, died 4 years before I was born at age 21 in a car crash. My cousins all live too far away to meet regularly as well. It’s just me and my mother in the house now, and my grandfather lives by himself in a house a couple blocks away from ours. My uncle also lives fairly close and is only like 2 miles away. It’s basically just me, my mom, grandfather, and uncle now. The rest are all distant relatives. My grandfather is too old to do much anymore. My uncle might go to car shows and stuff with me, but he doesn’t have the mechanical knowledge my father and I do and can’t help with car repairs.
well at least you have family nearby imagine moving somewhere far away with no family nearby and being alone with only one family member nearby
 
well at least you have family nearby imagine moving somewhere far away with no family nearby
That would be brutal. The sad part though is that most of my close family will probably be gone in around 10-15 years because they are so old already
 
That would be brutal. The sad part though is that most of my close family will probably be gone in around 10-15 years because they are so old already
I feel bad for you, I'm a single child too. We're going to be lonely, screwed, and loveless. Better adopt a dog so at least you would you have a family member that's not a human
 
I feel bad for you, I'm a single child too. We're going to be lonely, screwed, and loveless. Better adopt a dog so at least you would you have a family member that's not a human
Yeah, we are definitely screwed once our family is gone. I probably wouldn’t live very long after they are all gone.I wouldn’t want a dog though if it was just me. What if I died and the dog ran out of food and water? Nobody would check on me to even know I died, and the dog would probably die too. What I do have and will keep is my dad’s classic car I inherited. It’s a 1971 Camaro with 500 horsepower, so it basically has a soul. It was my dad’s car for 14 years and we made good memories in it. I had it running yesterday and it brought back so many memories. If you can’t get love, hearing a big block engine’s sound might be the next best thing.
 
Yeah, we are definitely screwed once our family is gone. I probably wouldn’t live very long after they are all gone.I wouldn’t want a dog though if it was just me. What if I died and the dog ran out of food and water? Nobody would check on me to even know I died, and the dog would probably die too. What I do have and will keep is my dad’s classic car I inherited. It’s a 1971 Camaro with 500 horsepower, so it basically has a soul. It was my dad’s car for 14 years and we made good memories in it. I had it running yesterday and it brought back so many memories. If you can’t get love, hearing a big block engine’s sound might be the next best thing.
I love classic cars! Yes, that would be such a cool collection to have for your dad's memory after his death. I'm sorry for your dad's death. I know the pain of losing a family member my grandma and uncle are both dead. My grandma's been dead for 6 years and my uncle died 3 years ago. That's what I hate about humans, it's like I had a theory that we can only love so many people you know. I wish you luck on this brutal, lonely, and loveless life especially for people like us who have small families.
 
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I love classic cars! Yes, that would be such a cool collection to have for your dad's memory after his death. I'm sorry for your dad's death. I know the pain of losing a family member my grandma and uncle are both dead. My grandmas been dead for 6 years and my uncle died 3 years ago. That's what I hate about humans, it's like I had a theory that we can only love so many people you know. I wish you luck in this brutal lonely and loveless life especially for people like us who have small families.
Thanks bro. Sorry you lost your grandma and uncle. Losing my grandmothers hurt a lot too. I lost one in 2016 and the other in 2021. I've always been a car guy, so it's great to have the Camaro as a memento of all the good times my dad and I had together. Plus, I also inherited his truck that we used to haul lots of materials to the cabin with. We also drove fast radio control cars together, some of which went 65 miles per hour, so I have a bunch of them as mementos. Those radio control cars can be fixed just like real cars and all spare parts are available. Some of them even have real nitro engines and others have powerful electric motors. Some of them can also do 50 foot high jumps, which is exactly what I used them for with the ramp my father and I built at the cabin.
IMG 1091
That's how massive the ramp is in the back of his truck.
 
Thanks bro. Sorry you lost your grandma and uncle. Losing my grandmothers hurt a lot too. I lost one in 2016 and the other in 2021. I've always been a car guy, so it's great to have the Camaro as a memento of all the good times my dad and I had together. Plus, I also inherited his truck that we used to haul lots of materials to the cabin with. We also drove fast radio control cars together, some of which went 65 miles per hour, so I have a bunch of them as mementos. Those radio control cars can be fixed just like real cars and all spare parts are available. Some of them even have real nitro engines and others have powerful electric motors. Some of them can also do 50 foot high jumps, which is exactly what I used them for with the ramp my father and I built at the cabin. View attachment 1175068That's how massive the ramp is in the back of his truck.
cool, well if building and fixing cars are your passion go for it and possibly learn that as a new skill
 
cool, well if building and fixing cars are your passion go for it and possibly learn that as a new skill
I only do it as a hobby. I wouldn't want a job that involved that or it would ruin the fun in it as a hobby. I'm going to be working in the medical field soon in a basic position. The medical field is cool because they have night shift jobs which suits me well. I want to do a job completely unrelated to my hobby so it doesn't ruin the thrill of the car stuff.
 
I only do it as a hobby. I wouldn't want a job that involved that or it would ruin the fun in it as a hobby. I'm going to be working in the medical field soon in a basic position. The medical field is cool because they have night shift jobs which suits me well. I want to do a job completely unrelated to my hobby so it doesn't ruin the thrill of the car stuff.
Go for it. And don’t quit the hobby of creating cars even if traumatizing and sad events happens to you
 
You know it’s over for us when we have to call normal people normal fags

Brutal
but they are fucking faggots “normal” just means most common. they are majority yes but they are not worthy or good average person is dumb as fuck good for nothing piece of trash

not saying we are any better either - humans are just filthy animals.
 
Go for it. And don’t quit the hobby of creating cars even if traumatizing and sad events happens to you
Yep. I will do what I can. I absolutely love cars, and the car hobby brings me lots of pleasure. Cars have been my biggest passion for over 14 years. This was my dad's Camaro at what would be the very last show he went to:
IMG 6720
At some point once the weather is good, I'm going to start taking it to shows again myself or with my mother.
 

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