Venting I don’t wanna do anything anymore. I just wanna crawl up into a ball in my bed until I die.

[Deleted member 101]

My depression is getting worse. I’m not sleeping anymore. I cried in front of my folks today after we fought about some stupid shit I don’t remember what. I don’t really wanna fucking talk about it. I have no safety net. It’s 3:30 in the morning in Chicago and I’m doing nothing but laying in bed, listening to Brand New and trying not to cry myself to sleep because I am begging to be held. Loved. Wanted. Not...isolated. Scared.
I am not an evil and hateful person despite being an incel. I’m just a broken man.
I’m grateful that I don’t have any crushes right now. Because I would be a huge mess if I did with my current mental state. Might end up in outpatient care again if that happened lol.
I wish I wasn’t so old where I would feel weird cuddling with my parents like when I was a kid. But it wouldn’t feel right. So alone I must be in this bed.

 

[Incellectual]

try taking drugs you will feel better for a little bit

 

[deathsh+rt]

I have been feeling like this lately too that's why I have not been on here as much I just feel like life is pointless and I feel like giving up , so I know where you are coming from and I would offer advice but I am getting worse too, so not much I can say as if I tell you things will get better I would be lying to you by the way I like your Mikasa Ackerman quote I completely forgot she said that. i hope you find some peace with your depression as its a horrible thing to go through.

 

[Deleted member 101]

try taking drugs you will feel better for a little bit

I don’t have any drugs and have no way to get them.
Recreational marijuana is legal in Illinois in less than a month so I’ll probably develop an unhealthy attachment to weed, soon.

 

[Incellectual]

I don’t have any drugs and have no way to get them.
Recreational marijuana is legal in Illinois in less than a month so I’ll probably develop an unhealthy attachment to weed, soon.

brutal that you have no connection to drugs. though I can kind of relate since without my brother I have no connection to them either and my brother quit recently so its much harder to get them now. weed is great so I recommend trying it for depression, too bad its so fucking expensive at dispensaries.

 

[Deleted member 101]

Get on antidepressants now. They've helped my depression immensely. Life as an incel feels much more bearable now.

I’ve been on so many antidepressants that I can’t even name a single one. Guess what? They. Don’t. Do. Jack. Shit. At best my mood is stable but I’ve had many moments where I’ve felt fine without the pills.
My depression isn’t due to a chemical imbalance alone. It is due to a lack of a social, romantic and sexual life. It is dude to justifiable feelings of inadequacy and worthless.
No, I need marijuana. I’ve only smoked it twice and the first time was magical. I felt so silly and carefree. I felt happy. Second time didn’t really do much (I think I fucked up the dosage or didn’t get enough of it in) but the only shit that might work for me is weed or MDMA. And getting MDMA is kinda hard when you live with your parents and it’s illegal.

 

[zangano1]

Same I hate my life I want it to end

 

[thebuddhacel]

I'm sorry man, I hope things get better for you.

 

[Excluded]

Depression doesn't leave but it gets easier bud

 

[Incline]

My depression is getting worse. I’m not sleeping anymore. I cried in front of my folks today after we fought about some stupid shit I don’t remember what. I don’t really wanna fucking talk about it. I have no safety net. It’s 3:30 in the morning in Chicago and I’m doing nothing but laying in bed, listening to Brand New and trying not to cry myself to sleep because I am begging to be held. Loved. Wanted. Not...isolated. Scared.
I am not an evil and hateful person despite being an incel. I’m just a broken man.
I’m grateful that I don’t have any crushes right now. Because I would be a huge mess if I did with my current mental state. Might end up in outpatient care again if that happened lol.
I wish I wasn’t so old where I would feel weird cuddling with my parents like when I was a kid. But it wouldn’t feel right. So alone I must be in this bed.

Let go of that feelings, I know it's impossible because I lived through it myself but once you accept that this is the state you are in and there is nothing you can do about it, it gets better. Once you get through that stage, life is still shit as always but you can at least move forward. Even if you are still lost and don't know the way, at least you'll understand that there is more in life than just your immeasurable suffering.

In my lowest point in life a year ago I was literally on the floor of my apartment clinging to my chest feeling physical pain from how much I suffered, my eyes were hurting and burning me so fucking much from crying all day, I didn't eat or drink anything, just vegetated crying all day and hoping to die, begging to die. It was a pathetic and eye opening experience. I think it helped me in a way.