I understand your pain. I have a charismatically gifted cousin. He's a low-resolution person though, he jolts at their heart and opens them up successfully. They become intimate like never before. Wanna know the most frustrating part? Those women develop standards for every subsequent person they meet after realizing my cousin is an asshole, which applies to good people like me. Sure, bodily autonomy might be an argument as I'm a libertarian, but that doesn't deny the unfairness that such a person like him got easy access to them while a good person like me has to work for it. Quite frankly, I consider it a much more serious transgression of a higher order when compared to other pseudo-tragedies like heartbreak because you're not metaphorically slapping a person in the face, but you're transgressing against how the moral fabric should be. The ethical thing should be for them to afford good people like me an easier time with women like them because if not, there's always going to be resentment that someone else who didn't deserve you had access to you in a much more intimate and easier way and you were partially responsible in perpetuating that. They were part of perpetuating something that shouldn't be the case. They were espousing a fabric of moral injustice. One that expands us and our needs. not sex as a need, but a much more fundamental one: love.
This does rub me the wrong way because frankly, it's not fair. I am somewhat in conflict because I believe in bodily-autonomy.
As for this one, I'll be taking this as you asking why men and women can't just naturally be attracted off the bat: we're all born feminine because that's the default, as in lack of masculinity (geckobus made a thread saying masculinity is a social construct). THe default (femininity) makes women attractive as it's the corresponding nature they're to exhibit, but the default looks repulsive on men as it's the exact opposite of what we're supposed to be: masculine, so we have to change ourselves. "women are born, men are made" - this sentiment has been espoused for the same reasons I just cleared up with the answer that I hope I correctly assumed to my interpretation of your question, even Jordan Peterson said that women know what they need to figure out/do, men need to figure out what they need to figure out/do.
