My life is so empty and meaningless, inceldom has retarded my intelligence motivation and will to live. I just survive as an empty hallow shell no interests or passion in anything only passing the time by distracting myself with cartoons and vidya. Unlike most of you that will escape in a few years or were already lucky enough to kiss or go on dates, that will never happen for me. When you are a subhuman ethnic there is no point in trying online dating or even talking to women irl, but I cannot stop desiring them. The worst part is even if I tried these things they would not go anywhere, if by some miracle I got matches it would likely be for the female to mock my ugly face, unmatch me instantly or ghost me. Even if somehow by god's grace a female gave me a chance my autism would drive her away, I cannot even fake being NT. I don't understand how other aspies do it, I have completely socially stagnated it has become impossible for me to hold a conversation or talk about any topic at length and of course nobody wants to interact with me either due to my face and ethnicity. The worst part is I do not even have the means to end my life quickly and painlessly which requires planning and luck. I don't know what to do anymore I am completely helpless, I cannot talk about this with anyone and nothing will fix my situation.
