I too received plenty of death stares outdoors throughout my life.
Still do. Everyday.
That pain of knowing that you'll never receive a smile from anyone and that your not entitled to being treated decently eats at you.
You see how they smile to one another and when they turn to you , their smile fades away.
You cannot afford to lie to yourself in these moments.
I lied to myself and told myself that it was because 'perhaps I was unintentionally rude' or 'it was just a misunderstanding.'
What helped me break out of that Bluepilled self-blaming was when I realized how criminals and horrible people still are able to have sexual intercourse and have friends even when they proudly show off how nasty they are of a person.
I compared myself to these horrible people and I knew that I left others alone and lived by the rules yet I was constantly blamed for having a 'poor personality.' Yet whenever I would enquire about what was it about me that was bad , they wouldn't be able to list out a proper critique as this was always about how much they hated my looks not about what I did.
There will come a point in time in your life where you will be heavily gaslighted. You will also be at your weakest mentally. You will need to be strong in these moments. Use this forum if you feel like you have no one to talk about these problems about and sadly even if you do try to explain this issue to any professionals like psychologists they simply will tell you its your fault.
It is ok to be overwhelmed , your only human after all , don't be frustrated if you feel anxious or intimidated. What you are experiencing is a unique issue that I dare say billions of normies will never understand as they live a privileged life of being born with a face that is decent looking.
'Its your fault that your hated because its not normal to have this experience and clearly you did something wrong.' Something along those lines will be said to you by many if you ever try to explain your issue to others.
Please do not fall for the lies. Understand that criminals and horrible people get sexually involved and have large social groups.
So everything they say about us being 'horrible people' is to be rejected especially when we make the attempt to be law abiding citizens.