I’ve been doing a lot of food cope lately, basically eating all of the stuff that tastes good but is terrible for your health. I used to be one of those people that was always in shape and I had a schizo level fixation on avoiding even the slightest hint of something unhealthy even if it was as simple as using purified water over tap water.
Since my life of loneliness and despair has broken me, I no longer care about these things because I know that no matter how great of shape I was in physically, I couldn’t overcome my genetics or my autism.
To make a long story short I drove to Burger King tonight to pick up something to eat since I had some coupons. The cheapest of the coupons was two whopper juniors for 6 bucks, which felt like a steal. When I go to pay for it at the drive through, it was some young latina foid who gave me the dirtiest look as she handed me my food. She looked disgusted by me, and if looks could kill then I would be dead yesterday.
I can’t say it surprises me anymore, though. I’m just an ugly young man with barely any money to my name, not that it matters to foids, and I’m ordering a kids meal because it’s the cheapest option. I don’t know what it is but women are genuinely angered by my existence and it makes me want to cry. I didn’t do anything to deserve it and it seems like I can’t do anything right no matter where I go simply for my appearance and my awkward nonNT demeanor.
It’s not the first time I’ve been treated like garbage at that place, I also once walked in instead of using the drive through and I couldn’t hear the woman behind the counter because it was too noisy and she got genuinely angry at me and her tone was aggressive, and I felt like a bug in that moment. All women have ever done is make me feel like that. The blunt women won’t hide their anger for my existence, but the reserved “nicer” women will reject me softly, making me feel like I’ve been led on because they didn't immediately hate me when I spoke to them, but at the end of the day I’ve been rejected by every woman I’ve ever shown interest in and I am done with it all.
I fucking despise women because they despised me first, and I don’t apologize for that. The dirty looks women give me makes me feel as though I’m being kicked while I’m already down. I’m going through enough already, I just want to buy my fucking food in peace without feeling like a piece of human garbage for once in my damn life.
Since my life of loneliness and despair has broken me, I no longer care about these things because I know that no matter how great of shape I was in physically, I couldn’t overcome my genetics or my autism.
To make a long story short I drove to Burger King tonight to pick up something to eat since I had some coupons. The cheapest of the coupons was two whopper juniors for 6 bucks, which felt like a steal. When I go to pay for it at the drive through, it was some young latina foid who gave me the dirtiest look as she handed me my food. She looked disgusted by me, and if looks could kill then I would be dead yesterday.
I can’t say it surprises me anymore, though. I’m just an ugly young man with barely any money to my name, not that it matters to foids, and I’m ordering a kids meal because it’s the cheapest option. I don’t know what it is but women are genuinely angered by my existence and it makes me want to cry. I didn’t do anything to deserve it and it seems like I can’t do anything right no matter where I go simply for my appearance and my awkward nonNT demeanor.
It’s not the first time I’ve been treated like garbage at that place, I also once walked in instead of using the drive through and I couldn’t hear the woman behind the counter because it was too noisy and she got genuinely angry at me and her tone was aggressive, and I felt like a bug in that moment. All women have ever done is make me feel like that. The blunt women won’t hide their anger for my existence, but the reserved “nicer” women will reject me softly, making me feel like I’ve been led on because they didn't immediately hate me when I spoke to them, but at the end of the day I’ve been rejected by every woman I’ve ever shown interest in and I am done with it all.
I fucking despise women because they despised me first, and I don’t apologize for that. The dirty looks women give me makes me feel as though I’m being kicked while I’m already down. I’m going through enough already, I just want to buy my fucking food in peace without feeling like a piece of human garbage for once in my damn life.
