I cannot shape my thoughts to form a cohesive system

[YewTree]

My thoughts are a loose, jumbled arrangement of contradictory and superficial phrases. They're broken into chunks. In decision making, they are utilized, in a given context, based on applying the minimal amount of information I've previously encountered and remembered, and what "sounds right". There are no axioms to which I can point to justify my thoughts. If I were pressed, I couldn't justify any of my beliefs, even to my own standards. For example, why do I believe suffering to be bad? I can't justify it. I can only fall back on empricism. "Suffering is bad because that is what my senses tell me." The obvious contradiction with this statement is that other aspects of my way of thinking are not empirical, and are based on the existence of things which exist outside of my sensations.

There is no internal consistency to my thoughts. I can't make sense of what I believe, or what I want. I feel as if my mind is always in conflict with itself.

What I believe I want is to "feel right"- for my thoughts and emotions to be in accordance with what is correct. I want to exist correctly, and for all my actions to be congruent with what is correct, if that is possible. What is correct I don't know, and I don't think I can know.

If I don't know what is correct, then I don't know know how to act. I don't have the ability to form a system of thinking to guide me philosophically. Thus, if I want to know what to do, I'll have to follow someone else's system. However, I can't even do this. Firstly, because I haven't yet been able to fully understand someone else's system, and I can, perhaps, never fully understand someone else's way of thinking. Secondly, because my brain objects to it. "This aspect of the system is wrong," my brain tells me, "and it must be modified to fit me."

I think I'm doomed to exist in this conflicted state. I have nothing solid to grab on to. Religion is unappealing; philosophy is too complicated; other high-complexity activities are beyond me. I can only cope with watching anime and spending time on incels.co.

 

[StaroRavager]

 

[ihaveno1]

I think I'm doomed

 

[YewTree]

View attachment 119105

Yeah, that is probably true of me. I'm more inclined to mimicry than self-reasoned belief.

 

[StaroRavager]

Yeah, that is probably true of me. I'm more inclined to mimicry than self-reasoned belief.

That’s how most people operate

 

[Deleted member 195]

Very Interesting

I can barely process information and express myself coherently.

At least you can

 

[Guest2]

Yeah I can't do that either because I think I'm too low IQ, especially in time-limited situations like a conversation

 

[Groowl.]

Well, your writing is very coherent and linearly planned out/structured, which is probably a more difficult accomplishment and skill than being able to speak in a coherently neurotypical way. Oftentimes, the best public speakers or lecturers are terrible writers.

 

[Deleted member 16455]

Yeah I can't do that either because I think I'm too low IQ, especially in time-limited situations like a conversation

It’s awful being low IQ

 

[Deleted member 195]

Well, your writing is very coherent and linearly planned out/structured, which is probably a more difficult accomplishment and skill than being able to speak in a coherently neurotypical way. Oftentimes, the best public speakers or lecturers are terrible writers.

My thoughts exactly.

I'm not even smart enough to express how I feel coherently like how OP does. I want to learn, but I have trouble processing information

R.I.P This life really is a joke

 

[Deleted member 8353]

I feel as if my mind is always in conflict with itself.

I feel that way pretty often too, but it's more like there are several different sides of myself struggling for control. Or maybe that the others are not myself at all, I can never really decide.

To put it another way, I feel like my goals, outlook, and to some extent preferences change noticeably upon waking up. Not entirely of course, but enough to be noticeable, I think I first became aware of it when I was about 12. I've written myself notes many times before to try and force myself to remember what I wanted to do(and why) before I fell asleep, as to recreate the mental state from the previous day, but I'm not sure that any effort in this regard ever works in full. It's as if I'm doomed to constantly feel like I'm losing things, losing pieces of myself every time I go to sleep, it's absolutely maddening.

I just want everything to stop changing, to be in one blissful moment and remain there forever.

I think I'm doomed to exist in this conflicted state. I have nothing solid to grab on to. Religion is unappealing; philosophy is too complicated; other high-complexity activities are beyond me. I can only cope with watching anime and spending time on incels.co.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. A lot of high IQ individuals tried to make sense of what is senseless, at least as far as I'm concerned. It's a remarkable effort, but ultimately pointless.

If you want to find the "right" way to live, then live in a manner that is comforting to you. There isn't much else any of us can do tbh.

 

[Modus Coperandi]

View attachment 119105

useless quote. our ability to copy each other that well is a key for the evolutionary success of humans and the main reason stable societies can exist.

"everything in your life has been copied from others" is true for everyone and has nothing to do with personal values.
in fact there are no 'personal' values.

Yeah, that is probably true of me. I'm more inclined to mimicry than self-reasoned belief.

some people are simply better actors than others. it may give you the illusion of a cohesive system, but the reality is that no human is without inner conflict. being imperfect is the natural state. constant struggle is life.

 

[StaroRavager]

useless quote. our ability to copy each other that well is a key for the evolutionary success of humans and the main reason stable societies can exist.

Copying others has it’s used sure. We’ve all seen however how fucked things become when others rely on tradition or the establishment to shape their ideas and opinion without deviation

"everything in your life has been copied from others" is true for everyone and has nothing to do with personal values.
in fact there are no 'personal' values.

If you haven’t developed any opinions of your own you’re either inexperienced or you simply let others do the thinking for you