
Runt171
HollowCel
★★★★★
- Joined
- May 9, 2024
- Posts
- 7,047
Genuinely some brutal shit
Im sure its nothing unfamiliar to most people here but I felt like making a post
I redownloaded TikTok for some reason the other day and realised that I had a old video of Me on my account that Id taken a year and a bit ago
Obviously not public videos I was already well aware I wasnt good looking at this point I just took the video to try and remember that time in my life
the video was me on this cliff I used to chill at And I just recorded The fog closing in and then I pan to my face and It hit me instantly to see what I actually had to try and live my life looking like back then
I remember this time In my life too
I was well aware of the BP at this time and the idea that This was all my life was going to be after trying to change it somewhat Was hitting me hard And I was pretty much mid LDAR at this point apart from going out occasionally
I can literally see the pain in my eyes in that video
At this time I was maybe 50kg at the most maybe a bit lower depending on when It was taken While being 5’6
I look gaunt And Fucked up
I look like an aged 14 year old since When I was underweight my nasal folds looked way worse(they still look kind of shit ngl) and my eyes looked even more buggy then they do now
My face had pretty much no development and my jaw was very narrow
I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if I didnt hit puberty properly until recently but that wouldn’t really make sense
Seeing this now and having a fully sober view of what I look like makes me think about what I still question even now ??
How the fuck did I get so unlucky??
Not only does my face look fucked up but Im also small framed 5’6 and have autism/adhd/low iq and Alot of other shit wrong with me
No wonder people have treated me so Horribly my entire life
If You showed a stranger a picture of me They would probably guess that all of this shit has happened to me just by seeing me
I genuinely never stood a chance
The brutal thing is and you’ve probably already guessed it yourself is that nothing has changed
Nothing important or interesting happened in the year that passed since then
I just got to a reasonably healthy weight and grew some shitty facial hair my face improved from the weight gain and my jaw might have grown somewhat but Obviously I still don’t look good I just look less fucked up in general from what I can tell
I became more jaded but Im still just as depressed and pissed off about my situation as I was then and I always will be
When It comes to my genes Ive been unluckier then Most people I will ever meet in my life
People always say that same boring phrase that “theres someone out there worse then you “ but that doesn’t matter at all if Everyone I actually meet mogs me
When Normies say this to eachother or someone says that to a ltn
Im the guy they are talking about
I still cant even comprehend how brutal reality is from day to day tbh
Even after all my life has gone by
What was the need for nature to be this cruel??
Not only to me and all of us
Everyone is suffering
Some people alot less obviously but Everyone is suffering to their own degree
The whole vibe of the world is just cruelty
Tbh I cant put this well Because I cant even think of how to say It but Im sure you all know what Im talking about
Everything In this world runs on cruelty
Someone always has to lose for someone to win
Even us being forced to partake in this is cruel
Im sure most people would kill themselves given the choice to escape this hell but the survival instinct that is engrained into their brain will stop them
The world runs on suffering but what is actually the point of all this shit??
The brutal thing is there isnt one
All of this shit is happening to us and the world for no reason
Even If you pull away all the cope and look at the purpose of the human experience the whole purpose is to fuck and continue your bloodline
But all this does is carry this shitshow on forever because humans cant deny their programming
Someone like me should Have never been born in the first place
We are like glitches in the system
The only purpose I can think of for us to exist is to make people feel better about themselves or to wageslave
Since when people use that cope of “theres someone worse then you “
They are pretty much admitting that some people exist just to make someone feel better
Brutal
Also if this is the purpose of our existence then what was the reason for us being programmed with the same wants and needs as normal people??
Its just needless cruelty
Ive never had anything in my life worth living for
Other people may have things that make them want to put up with the suffering but my life has always been empty
If I had the option I would choose to never have existed
In nature people like me would have died quickly due to how many subhuman traits we have and that would have been the humane thing to happen
Now we are just artificially kept alive to live in a world where we have no real purpose
We live pointless horrible lives where we will forever be treated with prejudice because of traits we never decided
One thing I thought of the other day is that We literally spend forever living as we do now
Because If you think of It all of our time is spent living like this
Once you die you cease to exist any part of you
Your memory your mind is all gone
So your eternity is spent rotting while everyone else is eternally living
Thought I would include this at the end since I saw it while I was on ShitTok
Im sure its nothing unfamiliar to most people here but I felt like making a post
I redownloaded TikTok for some reason the other day and realised that I had a old video of Me on my account that Id taken a year and a bit ago
Obviously not public videos I was already well aware I wasnt good looking at this point I just took the video to try and remember that time in my life
the video was me on this cliff I used to chill at And I just recorded The fog closing in and then I pan to my face and It hit me instantly to see what I actually had to try and live my life looking like back then
I remember this time In my life too
I was well aware of the BP at this time and the idea that This was all my life was going to be after trying to change it somewhat Was hitting me hard And I was pretty much mid LDAR at this point apart from going out occasionally
I can literally see the pain in my eyes in that video
At this time I was maybe 50kg at the most maybe a bit lower depending on when It was taken While being 5’6
I look gaunt And Fucked up
I look like an aged 14 year old since When I was underweight my nasal folds looked way worse(they still look kind of shit ngl) and my eyes looked even more buggy then they do now
My face had pretty much no development and my jaw was very narrow
I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if I didnt hit puberty properly until recently but that wouldn’t really make sense
Seeing this now and having a fully sober view of what I look like makes me think about what I still question even now ??
How the fuck did I get so unlucky??
Not only does my face look fucked up but Im also small framed 5’6 and have autism/adhd/low iq and Alot of other shit wrong with me
No wonder people have treated me so Horribly my entire life
If You showed a stranger a picture of me They would probably guess that all of this shit has happened to me just by seeing me
I genuinely never stood a chance
The brutal thing is and you’ve probably already guessed it yourself is that nothing has changed
Nothing important or interesting happened in the year that passed since then
I just got to a reasonably healthy weight and grew some shitty facial hair my face improved from the weight gain and my jaw might have grown somewhat but Obviously I still don’t look good I just look less fucked up in general from what I can tell
I became more jaded but Im still just as depressed and pissed off about my situation as I was then and I always will be
When It comes to my genes Ive been unluckier then Most people I will ever meet in my life
People always say that same boring phrase that “theres someone out there worse then you “ but that doesn’t matter at all if Everyone I actually meet mogs me
When Normies say this to eachother or someone says that to a ltn
Im the guy they are talking about
I still cant even comprehend how brutal reality is from day to day tbh
Even after all my life has gone by
What was the need for nature to be this cruel??
Not only to me and all of us
Everyone is suffering
Some people alot less obviously but Everyone is suffering to their own degree
The whole vibe of the world is just cruelty
Tbh I cant put this well Because I cant even think of how to say It but Im sure you all know what Im talking about
Everything In this world runs on cruelty
Someone always has to lose for someone to win
Even us being forced to partake in this is cruel
Im sure most people would kill themselves given the choice to escape this hell but the survival instinct that is engrained into their brain will stop them
The world runs on suffering but what is actually the point of all this shit??
The brutal thing is there isnt one
All of this shit is happening to us and the world for no reason
Even If you pull away all the cope and look at the purpose of the human experience the whole purpose is to fuck and continue your bloodline
But all this does is carry this shitshow on forever because humans cant deny their programming
Someone like me should Have never been born in the first place
We are like glitches in the system
The only purpose I can think of for us to exist is to make people feel better about themselves or to wageslave
Since when people use that cope of “theres someone worse then you “
They are pretty much admitting that some people exist just to make someone feel better
Brutal
Also if this is the purpose of our existence then what was the reason for us being programmed with the same wants and needs as normal people??
Its just needless cruelty
Ive never had anything in my life worth living for
Other people may have things that make them want to put up with the suffering but my life has always been empty
If I had the option I would choose to never have existed
In nature people like me would have died quickly due to how many subhuman traits we have and that would have been the humane thing to happen
Now we are just artificially kept alive to live in a world where we have no real purpose
We live pointless horrible lives where we will forever be treated with prejudice because of traits we never decided
One thing I thought of the other day is that We literally spend forever living as we do now
Because If you think of It all of our time is spent living like this
Once you die you cease to exist any part of you
Your memory your mind is all gone
So your eternity is spent rotting while everyone else is eternally living
Thought I would include this at the end since I saw it while I was on ShitTok
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