this isn't an incel related problem. maybe it is because feeling subhuman is part of it.
I'm 22 years old, turning 23 soon. I have no one in my life to turn to, the only people I've known well - my parents - raised me like I was an object. a tool who's only purpose was accolades, grades, and income. If I wasn't providing that I was nothing and worthless, an eyesore, a burden and a drain on the finances and well being of my parents lives. Especially my mother.
It got extremely bad today, i can't really explain why, but safe to say I will never see my parents as good people ever. I am fully aware that they resent every bone in my body, I wholeheartedly believe I never should have been born.
During my realization of this fact and during the episode that I was going through (which all started from more abuse from my parents) I had the closest feelings I've ever had to actually committing suicide. I mean I was right there dude, all I needed was a gun or a ledge on the top of a building or anything. My suicide was on the horizon.
I had a nervous breakdown and I couldn't breathe I couldn't walk I was hyperventilating myself into fainting. and the ONLY group or people I could think of reaching out to in that moment was the suicide hotline.
They put me on hold and got some therapy trained girl to ask me questions about whether or not I'm a danger to myself, I don't really remember or care what she said, I just needed a voice that sounded like it was caring to calm me down. I really felt isolated just now I genuinely was in dire need of acknowledgement that someone gives a shit about my hopeless fucking life as a failure.
I'm a little bit better but fuck me man is this really what it takes for us to feel like we're not alone in our subhuman life???? The only thing we can do is post in here, or call a fucking suicide hotline with trained actors to pretend to care about us to make us feel good? I might as well purchase an ai robot soon because fuck me there's no way I can take a life like this much longer. I might leave this earth bros.
I'm 22 years old, turning 23 soon. I have no one in my life to turn to, the only people I've known well - my parents - raised me like I was an object. a tool who's only purpose was accolades, grades, and income. If I wasn't providing that I was nothing and worthless, an eyesore, a burden and a drain on the finances and well being of my parents lives. Especially my mother.
It got extremely bad today, i can't really explain why, but safe to say I will never see my parents as good people ever. I am fully aware that they resent every bone in my body, I wholeheartedly believe I never should have been born.
During my realization of this fact and during the episode that I was going through (which all started from more abuse from my parents) I had the closest feelings I've ever had to actually committing suicide. I mean I was right there dude, all I needed was a gun or a ledge on the top of a building or anything. My suicide was on the horizon.
I had a nervous breakdown and I couldn't breathe I couldn't walk I was hyperventilating myself into fainting. and the ONLY group or people I could think of reaching out to in that moment was the suicide hotline.
They put me on hold and got some therapy trained girl to ask me questions about whether or not I'm a danger to myself, I don't really remember or care what she said, I just needed a voice that sounded like it was caring to calm me down. I really felt isolated just now I genuinely was in dire need of acknowledgement that someone gives a shit about my hopeless fucking life as a failure.
I'm a little bit better but fuck me man is this really what it takes for us to feel like we're not alone in our subhuman life???? The only thing we can do is post in here, or call a fucking suicide hotline with trained actors to pretend to care about us to make us feel good? I might as well purchase an ai robot soon because fuck me there's no way I can take a life like this much longer. I might leave this earth bros.
